First Communion

[6YRSHOME]

Help. I’m somewhat at a loss and need some (name removed by moderator)ut.

I am one of the only Catholics in my family, including my in-laws, and the only one that resides in the state. My son’s First Eucharist is in April and I really want it to be a special celebration for him. My dilema is that my mom and most of her family is Seventh Day Adventist. (For those unfamiliar, they worship on Saturday mornings and are very anti- Catholic in their theology.) The rest of the family belong to various protestant faiths. For the most part all of my family and my husbands are charitable, but don’t really support our faith. The Mass is scheduled for Saturday morning.

So do I keep this celebration to our immediate family or invite the whole family only to have them skip the mass and show up for the party. I’m sure my son would be happy to see them even for part of it, but I know he would wonder why they can’t be there for all of it. Wouldn’t that send a weird message to him?

He knows that we all go to different churches and he knows that Nana (my mom) doesn’t believe what we do but since he goes to our parish school, he sees how involved his classmates extended families are. He really wants the support of our large family.

Maybe I’m making a big thing out of nothing, but this is a big step for him and I really want this to be positive and joyful.

Any suggestions? Thoughts?

 

[puzzleannie]

that was one great benefit of the days when children celebrated at one Sunday Mass with their class, the church was simply so crowded each family was limited in who could attend. (we actually had 4 tickets for DDs 1st communion) so you could tell any problematic relatives there was no room.

Our church is small so we limit to no more than 10 children at any one Mass during the Easter season, and reserve a pew for each family, so that might give you a politic way to limit which family members attend the Mass.

As a point of info, there is no such thing as a private Mass, every Mass, even a nuptial or funeral Mass, is open to anyone who wishes to attend (which is why the old policy cited above was so theologically incorrect).

You can simply inform relatives of the dates and times. If you schedule the party for much later in the day, or even another day, the problem may not even arise. For grandparents, who should be there if they can, you can simply ask them if they would like to come to the church, but state you will surely understand if they would rather not. Put it in terms of respecting their consciences.

when my daughter planned for our grandson, she went in with several parents from his Catholic school so they could rent the community center for the party. She did this specifically because many of his friends came from families like yours, with relatives who might even actually boycott the occasion, and she saw it as a way to insure these children had a good celebration to enjoy and remember.

it is also my duty to remind families that the occasion is about the sacrament and not the party, but having said so, you still want to make the whole memory a good one for your child.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Our granddaughter is making hers in April. We are thinking the very same thing about going in with the other families from the parish-sponsored Brownie troop. There are only a few girls in second grade in Brownies, and yet the span of various denominations is staggering.

As for family- It has always been, “If you’d like to go to Mass, we welcome you. If you’d rather skip Mass and hit the party, we welcome you. Please just don’t use this special day to prosteletyze. Thanks.”

 

[6YRSHOME]

Our church is big… some call it a mega church… so big in fact that they are having 1st communion masses 3 Saturdays in a row in order to accomodate everyone. So space isn’t a problem.

But you’re right. Its about the sacrament. The party is just an aside. If our family doesn’t support the sacrament, it doesn’t make sense to me to have a party with everyone. I’m not asking them to convert or agree with anything that they don’t want to, just to be there to show my son that God is the central focus of our lives, and that we are all His children.

I guess I’m frustrated because my mom makes it seem like I’m asking her to abandon her faith because she would have to skip services at her church on that day. But it’s not like she and my Aunts and Uncles haven’t done it before. If there is a wedding or funeral scheduled on a Saturday morning, they don’t say, " Gee, I’d love to go to your wedding but I have Church. " I just don’t see this as being that different.

I’m not really sure if I could plan something with other families because most of the families are Catholic. I’ts an interesting idea though.

 

[BlestOne]

We had no family nearby when my kids went through First Eucharist, so to celbrate I let them one have a picnic and invite his friends. Another had a sleepover. With another we had a pool party at a hotel… it all depends on the weather and the kid.

 

[HouseArrest]

We have plenty of family around so I don’t share your problem but I have thought of a solution (maybe).

My kids always want to invite their friends and their families to their First Communion party and don’t understand why they don’t come – until I explain that they are also making their First Communion and having their own party on the same day. (Kids go to Catholic school).

You could move your party to invite his classmates. That should fill it up.