First Communion

[Magnum_V8]

My son is six years old. We go to Mass every Sunday. We talk a lot about God and pray together as a family. We never attended a weekday Mass until this year. Now we go whenever there is a federal holiday, or just a day off from work.

Well, we went on the 4th, and after Mass the priest was walking out with us (everybody in attendance stayed after Mass to pray the rosary). One of the other parishoners commented how tall my son has gotten…she sees him all through the school year since she volunteers in the school. Father overheard us talking about him and asked my son if he was going into first grade next year. Yes, he is.

Then the priest looked at him and said, “how would you like to make your first communion? Nobody will know your only in first grade. Besides that, you probably know more about what’s going on than the other kids.” Needless to say I was in awe. Our priest truly loves our son.

I do believe my son has a better understanding than other kids, from what I’ve seen. God has an important part in our family life. But is the “age of reason” mandatory? From what I understand kids are to make their first communion no earlier than 8 years old…second grade.

Any thoughts?

 

[NaturalEnquirer]

I’m the farthest thing from an expert, but I think the age of reason is sort of a guideline. A precocious child might be ready before 7, and I guess the opposite is probably true.

If I were in your shoes, I think I would jump at the chance.

 

[Jennifer_J]

I do believe it can be at the discretion of the priest. He should speak to your son and make sure he’s ready and understands what the Eucharist is. If he goes to the parish school you should think about how he would feel as his classmates are preparing and he doesn’t “have” to? That would be my only concern. I’m sure there is someone–Puzzleannie comes to mind, who would know for sure about this, though!

Jennifer

 

[Magnum_V8]

If he goes to the parish school you should think about how he would feel as his classmates are preparing and he doesn’t “have” to? That would be my only concern.

Yes, he goes to the parish school. But, to be honest with you, I’m not so sure that any of his classmates are Catholic, except for two that I know of for sure…and one attends a different parish. I doubt there will be a huge communion class. And I would have him make his first communion solo anyway…that’s how I did it.

I didn’t tell the priest yes or no. I just told him we’d consider it, then I told my son we have a ton of work to do. Personally, I know he is not completely ready to do it right now. But the first communion wouldn’t be until Spring of next year, probably.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

The “age of reason” is just a marker. I’ve seen kids that were 10 years old, and didn’t know as much as 6 year olds. And remember, Eastern Rite Catholics receive their First Communion as infants, right after being baptized and chrismated (confirmed).

What I would do: Ask your son some questions to make sure he understands that he knows what a sin is, what mortal sin is, and that going to confesion takes care of all that. He obviously knows it’s Jesus in the Eucharist. If you’re satisfied he’d have no problem with confession, then there is probably nothing wrong with him receiving First Communion.

And Father might have a new server in the bargain.

 

[Jennifer_J]

Yes, he goes to the parish school. But, to be honest with you, I’m not so sure that any of his classmates are Catholic, except for two that I know of for sure…and one attends a different parish. I doubt there will be a huge communion class. And I would have him make his first communion solo anyway…that’s how I did it.

I didn’t tell the priest yes or no. I just told him we’d consider it, then I told my son we have a ton of work to do. Personally, I know he is not completely ready to do it right now. But the first communion wouldn’t be until Spring of next year, probably.

If that’s the case, you should continue preparing him yourself and then have a meeting with Father to see if he thinks he’s ready. Our school is strongly Catholic and all the 2nd graders are prepared together and there is a Mass dedicated to the First Communion class (though it’s a regular Mass time)–so it would be more noticable for someone in our school. There are tons of great materials to help prepare your ds for first communion!

God bless,
Jennifer

 

[Magnum_V8]

If that’s the case, you should continue preparing him yourself and then have a meeting with Father to see if he thinks he’s ready. Our school is strongly Catholic and all the 2nd graders are prepared together and there is a Mass dedicated to the First Communion class (though it’s a regular Mass time)–so it would be more noticable for someone in our school. There are tons of great materials to help prepare your ds for first communion!

God bless,
Jennifer

Can you recommend any specific materials?

I envy your description of your parish school. Unfortunately, living in an urban area, our private schools are a big recipient of the tuition voucher programs. I’m not saying anything condemning about the kids or their families, but the families are more interested in a great education than religion. And it seems the schools are less about evangelizing.

Boy, have times changed even since I was a kid…I’m not that old either. I think my entire second grade class was Catholic.

 

[PatienceAndLove]

I’d pick up the Baltimore Catechism for First Communion

CHC First Communion (includes Baltimore)

Good luck to you all, and congrats to your son!

 

[quiet52]

In my diocese, children must attend two years of catechesis (usually first and second grades) before receiving their first Eucharist. This applies whether they’re attending Catholic school, or weekly religious education class (which is from September to May).

I am wondering why your pastor doesn’t want to ensure that your son is fully catechized? Personally, I think he shouldn’t have suggested this in front of your son. But perhaps he is merely excited about your son’s faith.

Does your son’s school offer religious education, or does he attend a weekly class taught by a parish catechist? Or neither?

The age of reason is usually considered to be seven years old, but yes, there are exceptions. Nevertheless, your son deserves good catechesis.

 

[Brendan]

In my diocese, children must attend two years of catechesis (usually first and second grades) before receiving their first Eucharist. This applies whether they’re attending Catholic school, or weekly religious education class (which is from September to May).

I am wondering why your pastor doesn’t want to ensure that your son is fully catechized? Personally, I think he shouldn’t have suggested this in front of your son. But perhaps he is merely excited about your son’s faith.

Does your son’s school offer religious education, or does he attend a weekly class taught by a parish catechist? Or neither?

The age of reason is usually considered to be seven years old, but yes, there are exceptions. Nevertheless, your son deserves good catechesis.

I fail to see exactly where the OP has stated that her son has NOT recieved good catechesis. Could you point out exactly where that was said?

Where is it said that only a R.E, program or a “parish catechist” may provide a child with a proper catechesis. That seems to fly against Lumen Gentium’s assertion that the parents are the primary religious instructors of their children.

 

[Jennifer_J]

Can you recommend any specific materials?

I envy your description of your parish school. Unfortunately, living in an urban area, our private schools are a big recipient of the tuition voucher programs. I’m not saying anything condemning about the kids or their families, but the families are more interested in a great education than religion. And it seems the schools are less about evangelizing.

Boy, have times changed even since I was a kid…I’m not that old either. I think my entire second grade class was Catholic.

What PatienceandLove said and her link, too!!! That’s exactly where I was going to send you! LOL Catholic Heritage Curriculum has great resources–be sure to check them all out! You are more than capable of preparing your child for First Reconciliation/First Communion!!!

God bless,
Jennifer

 

[puzzleannie]

Then the priest looked at him and said, “how would you like to make your first communion? Nobody will know your only in first grade. Besides that, you probably know more about what’s going on than the other kids.” Needless to say I was in awe. Our priest truly loves our son.

I ?

yes there is a provision for the pastor who knows the child to make an exception. the principle is no child should be kept away from the sacraments when they are ready. bear in mind that is the pastor’s judgment, not the parents, catechist or DRE, although they may have (name removed by moderator)ut. I hope this does not result in a flood of parents petitioning pastors for special treatment for their first graders. In 20 years of catechetical ministry I have seen maybe half dozen children younger than 7 who truly had the understanding and true desire for the sacrament that is the definition of “readiness”.

he must prepare for and have the opportunity for first confession before first communion. If he is not ready for this he is really not ready for first communion (at least that is the current theology of the sacraments in the western Church. my opinion on restoring the original order and returning to Eastern Church practice is well attested on these forums, but I am not likely to be in any decision making capacity on those matters).

yes parents are the primary educators of their children in matters of the faith. we offer homeschooling alterinative to any family that will follow through. except for those families who are already commited to HS for academics, no one has ever followed through on this. I am the one who has to attest that the child has been prepared, and the only way I can do that is if the child participates in the Catholic school or CCD requirements of the diocese. Every parent who insists their child is ready is offered an appointment with the pastor to make their case. I am very jaded on this issue but in the main, let us just say that my judgement and the parents are usually wildly divergent on this topic. But it is the pastor’s decision, not mine.

 

[Magnum_V8]

Well, I began seriously preparing my son. I bought some children’s books from a local Catholic bookstore. I am going to look into the Baltimore Catechism book as well.

I am not the least bit confident in my son’s school’s religion class. He told me they haven’t even taught him anything about the Ten Commandments. Is that normal for pre-K and kindergarten for a Catholic school?

So we’ve begun on the Ten Commandments as a starting point for his first confession. By the end of the summer I think he will be a lot further ahead, then I’ll ask Father to interview him.

BTW, my son won the religion class award for both semesters. The final day of school concluded with a school mass. About 10 children did simple readings. My son had the first reading. After the mass, the principal told us that the visiting priest who concelebrated the Mass couldn’t stop talking about my son, even saying he had never heard an epistle read with such reverence. I’m just so proud of him.

 

[jmdsc]

I just went through something similiar to you recently.

My twins who are a few days short of 8 years old were completely prepared for their First Communion by our family and my Great Uncle who was (recently deceased) a Msgr.

We, purely out of respect and courtesy, requested “dispensation” for the boys to receive the sacrament from their Great, Great Uncle in another city (as is the tradition in our family). Keep in mind that there is NO need for this, we were simply trying to keep everything “kosher”.

Our parish priest said flat-out NO. Because they had only been in “his” (yes, he used that word) system for only one year - it was not possible. When pressed further to examine our children, or to explain his position, he told us that all children had to be in 2nd grade (we chose to hold our boys one extra year before starting school because of the size of their bodies, not their brains) and that this was a diocesan rule.

After researching this, and speaking with our Bishop (who laughed out loud) he told us…“So what would the priest do with a child who was not capable of traditional grade-schooling, however, was able to have “reason”? Would they never receive the sacrament?”

Making a long story short, my boys did make their First Communion with their Great, Great Uncle just before he died with the blessing of our Bishop.

I would say - as long as your child understands, and your priest is confident after examination - why would anyone deny him this special grace?

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I am not the least bit confident in my son’s school’s religion class. He told me they haven’t even taught him anything about the Ten Commandments. Is that normal for pre-K and kindergarten for a Catholic school?

More like “status quo” and depends on the diocese, even the parish.

Our babies at school learn their basic prayers in preschool 3. For course, in our extended care program, our babies are rocked in a rocking chair by an adult caregiver when they request it, and we have the only preschool 3 in the area.

Our kindergarten not only learns the Ten Commandments, but the Rosary and Way of the Cross. They start to go to Mass as a class in October of the school year, after haivng reviewed proper Mass behavior. But then again, we have a full-day kindergarten, the kindergarten has plenty of play time built into it, and the kids go to first grade with a strong reading vocabulary and mastery of addition and subtraction.