First confession after years away

[Oregonblueberry]

My last confession was over four years ago, and in that time, I have been living the typical life of a young, liberal, non-religious American. You can imagine the kind of sins I have racked up.

My question is how detailed I should be when confessing these many, numerous sins. Is it possible to lump certain sins together - for example, I might say “I have been hateful and spoken ill of other people” without separating out “I thought badly about people, I gossiped behind people’s backs, I encouraged conversations about other people’s faults, I found pleasure in other people’s failure” ect. Or “I used and supported the use of birth control” without mentioning specifically “I encouraged one of my friends to use birth control, I thought poorly of people who don’t support birth control, I took political action in favor of birth control, I spoke publically in favor of…” ect.

The reason why I left the Church four and a half years ago was because scrupulosity was destroying my mental health and relationship with God, and the anxiety that underlies the scrupulosity is a big part of the reason why it’s taken me so long to come back. I really don’t want to underappreciate the importance and solemnity of the sacrament I am about to receive, but I am also very consciously trying to make sure that scrupulous intrusive thoughts don’t overwhelm me again. It is unbelievably difficult to find that balance.

Another thought I had is that given the circumstances (covid), the most succinct confession possible might be ideal. My local parish is still administering confession but with restricted hours and special precautions, so it doesn’t seem like it’s necessarily a good idea to come in with a laundry list of very specific sins. But I also don’t want to make excuses for a shoddy confession.

 

[Vico]

My last confession was over four years ago, and in that time, I have been living the typical life of a young, liberal, non-religious American. You can imagine the kind of sins I have racked up.

My question is how detailed I should be when confessing these many, numerous sins. Is it possible to lump certain sins together - for example, I might say “I have been hateful and spoken ill of other people” without separating out “I thought badly about people, I gossiped behind people’s backs, I encouraged conversations about other people’s faults, I found pleasure in other people’s failure” ect. Or “I used and supported the use of birth control” without mentioning specifically “I encouraged one of my friends to use birth control, I thought poorly of people who don’t support birth control, I took political action in favor of birth control, I spoke publically in favor of…” ect.

The reason why I left the Church four and a half years ago was because scrupulosity was destroying my mental health and relationship with God, and the anxiety that underlies the scrupulosity is a big part of the reason why it’s taken me so long to come back. I really don’t want to underappreciate the importance and solemnity of the sacrament I am about to receive, but I am also very consciously trying to make sure that scrupulous intrusive thoughts don’t overwhelm me again. It is unbelievably difficult to find that balance.

Another thought I had is that given the circumstances (covid), the most succinct confession possible might be ideal. My local parish is still administering confession but with restricted hours and special precautions, so it doesn’t seem like it’s necessarily a good idea to come in with a laundry list of very specific sins. But I also don’t want to make excuses for a shoddy confession.

Mention the number (or approximation) of each kind of sin that was a mortal sin that you can recall. Circumstances can alter the kind. Note that all sin in voluntary or due to willful ignorance through indifference to what the Church teaches.

 

[InThePew]

My last confession was over four years ago, and in that time, I have been living the typical life of a young, liberal, non-religious American. You can imagine the kind of sins I have racked up.

If it helps, you’re hardly the first and, as a priest, it’s a wonderful sign of God’s love and mercy when someone in your situation comes to the confessional. Don’t get too hung up on the details - just tell the priest exactly what you’ve said above (including the part about scrupulosity) and let him take it from there. the precise details aren’t what’s important - your love of the Lord is; that’s what brought you back after all!

 

[1cthlctrth]

Welcome back, and do your best.