First confession in 20 years

  • Thread starter Thread starter Renegade8408
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
R

Renegade8408

Guest
Needing some encouragement. I have an appointment for my first confession in nearly 20yrs tomorrow. I’m so nervous and scared. I want to go and need to go but worry about messing it up. I was a proselytizing satanist for 16 years and I know that is not something most priest have dealt with. Honestly it would be easier to confess to murder than to what I have done. Ive been going through an examination of conscience using the 10 commandments and am guilty of nearly every sin on the list more times than I can count. I have started writing them down but trying to put a number to it is beyond what I can remember. I could go in with a short book and still leave things out. Do I put it off until I can remember more? Is the Priest going to freak out? How do they handle it when some/many of the sins have caused excommunication (and were done aware of this fact)?

Somebody please give me some encouragement. I’m scared!
 
Renegade8408 said:
Is the Priest going to freak out?

Somebody please give me some encouragement. I’m scared!
Click to expand...
No. He’ll be happy you’re back. Just relax. You don’t need to do everything exactly perfectly. You just need to do the best you can. If you do that, you’re going to be fine.
 
Renegade8408 said:
Needing some encouragement.
Click to expand...
Praying for you.
Renegade8408 said:
I have an appointment for my first confession in nearly 20yrs tomorrow. I’m so nervous and scared. I want to go and need to go but worry about messing it up.
Click to expand...
I try to get to confession at least every month. Nervous and scared every time. Worry I will forget and mess up as well.
Renegade8408 said:
I was a proselytizing satanist for 16 years and I know that is not something most priest have dealt with.
Click to expand...
No worries - God will give the Priest you confess to the grace to deal with it.
Renegade8408 said:
Honestly it would be easier to confess to murder than to what I have done. Ive been going through an examination of conscience using the 10 commandments and am guilty of nearly every sin on the list more times than I can count.
Click to expand...
Been there too. Hardest thing in life is to confess our weakness and faults. But we are not confessing to the Priest, we are confessing to Jesus through the Priest. Jesus already knows what we did. He knows what was in our hearts and minds. Loves us anyway, especially when we don’t love ourselves. Ready to forgive us. Can’t wait to work through His priest to bring us that healing.
Renegade8408 said:
I have started writing them down but trying to put a number to it is beyond what I can remember. I could go in with a short book and still leave things out. Do I put it off until I can remember more? Is the Priest going to freak out? How do they handle it when some/many of the sins have caused excommunication (and were done aware of this fact)? Somebody please give me some encouragement. I’m scared!
Click to expand...
After 20 years the Priest will be shocked only if you kept a detailed log:D. Just say what you have done and give the Priest an idea. He will ask you if he needs more info.

DO NOT PUT THIS OFF! (yup, meant to shout at your - sorry - but it is Satan telling you to put it off and I wanted to yell louder than him).

The Priest will not freak out. He is not there to judge you. He is there to guide you back to Jesus. Freak him out - don’t think so. Help a lost lamb back to the fold - you will make his week.

Praying for you. Look at the crucifix before you go in. Look at the love Jesus has shown for all of us - and none of us have deserved it. He would have died if it had just been for you alone. He’s in there waiting to welcome you home, go on in.
 
You said you were worried because you believe the priest has probably dealt with someone like you. Whether or not that’ll be true, I don’t know, but I do know priests have heard a lot. And as I recall from an article shared on this forum a while ago that was by a priest telling his side of the confessional, he didn’t judge his penitents and was glad they were coming to God. So don’t be worried about that because the fact you’re going to confession and want to rebuild your relationship with God is a great thing and the priest will help you.

When it comes to worrying about sins you may have forgotten, again please don’t worry. You can ask your priest about it and ask for his guidance. And in addition, if you honestly forget a sin, you are still forgiven. Just ask your priest what he wants you to do if you remember a sin you forgot during confession and remember later. And the same goes for numbering them, ask your priest what he wants you to do.

As for any excommunications, I personally don’t know how those are handled, but that’s something you’ll want to talk about with the priest. Perhaps in talking he might be able to determine there wasn’t an excommunication for something and if there is, he’ll guide you through any next steps if he doesn’t have the authority to personally lift it.

So overall, please don’t fret and worry. I can empathize with it being a nerve-wracking experience to confess after being away for a while, but you’re going to a place of mercy. Whenever I see someone with a thread like this where they say they’re going to confession after a long time, it brings happiness because regardless of one’s past, it means they’re trying to change. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

And as a final note, I just want you to remember the Prodigal Son. The father kept looking for his son every day and when the son finally came down the path back home, the father went running with joy to greet him.
 
I too had to make a first confession after almost 20 years (19 years in my case) (and yes I did some pretty bad things over the 19 years too).
Do not worry about the priest. They have heard it all. Just relax. As long as you’ve stopped sinning and not planning to do it again, you won’t have any trouble.

Good luck and welcome back 🙂
remember to go to Confession regularly (I’d say at least once a month) after you’re back because then it will make it easier to go and help keep you from falling off the wagon so to speak.

Edited to add, you don’t have to remember how many times for each of the sins. Just say “many times” or “a few times”. Just get through the list as quick as you can. The priest isn’t going to want or need a big explanation.

If you forget anything, that’s fine too as long as you didn’t leave stuff out on purpose. Anything you forgot and happen to remember later, you can go again next week and mention it then.
 
He’s a priest; and truth be told, he’ll probably forget most of what you tell him anyway. God bless you, and I hope you have a good confession.
 
Don’t put it off, and you’re going to be okay. Sit down, close your eyes, take a few deep (belly) breaths, and imagine how you’re going to feel when this is done: SO MUCH BETTER. And oh my goodness, all the angels and saints in heaven will be singing for joy! The one who was lost has been found!

Last year I went to confession for the first time in 15 years. I walked through the ten commandments over the course of two weeks, and when it was time to go brought in the list. Even after two weeks of work, I’m sure I didn’t have everything I’d ever done on that list, but I also know that God doesn’t expect the impossible of us. We’re not required to remember everything. We’re just required to be honest about what we do remember, and to be contrite.

My confessor told me that old sins would likely keep coming up for a while. Since I had resolved to go regularly, I just added the newly-remembered-old-sins to my subsequent confession lists. And in the end, it turned out to be a very good thing that I had written these lists and kept them, because periodically I’d start to be tormented by an old sin or even just a detail of an old sin, and I could look back and see that I had already confessed it, and I was forgiven, so I didn’t need to think about it anymore.

Catholics are immensely blessed to have the assurance of the sacrament of reconciliation. You’ll see.

I imagine that if you’ve committed any sins which carry penalties beyond the scope of the sacrament, or any for which absolution is reserved to your bishop, that the priest will instruct you in how to move forward. He’ll help you. Merely going to confession after 20 years indicates contrition. Do the best you can, and God will be merciful.

What time is your confession tomorrow? I’ll sing a Gloria for you. 🙂
 
Renegade8408 said:
Do I put it off until I can remember more? Is the Priest going to freak out? How do they handle it when some/many of the sins have caused excommunication (and were done aware of this fact)?

Somebody please give me some encouragement. I’m scared!
Click to expand...
Your repentance and return to the sacraments will be a great encouragement to the priest and a tangible sign of God’s great mercy. You will receive the gift of absolution and the priest will receive the gift of witnessing your return to God and playing a small part. Don’t put this off one day more. Be at peace and know that we are all praying for you.
 
Thank you everyone! I feel a bit better. My confession is at 2pm EST tomorrow. I guess what I’m most nervous/worried about is that the priest does not have the authority to handle the excommunication (it is reserved for the Apostolic See) and I don’t know if there is much of a point to anything else. Can he even take the rest of my confession?
 
Renegade8408 said:
Thank you everyone! I feel a bit better. My confession is at 2pm EST tomorrow. I guess what I’m most nervous/worried about is that the priest does not have the authority to handle the excommunication (it is reserved for the Apostolic See) and I don’t know if there is much of a point to anything else. Can he even take the rest of my confession?
Click to expand...
You need to mention everything you remember and let the priest decide how to handle it. It may be you are mistaken about the excommunication. Trust your priest. But you can’t hold back sins you remember. If you do that, then the confession will not be valid.
 
Your confessor will guide you through confession. Don’t worry about possible excommunications, your confessor will guide you through that, as needed, also.

Welcome home!
 
Tis_Bearself said:
You need to mention everything you remember and let the priest decide how to handle it. It may be you are mistaken about the excommunication. Trust your priest. But you can’t hold back sins you remember. If you do that, then the confession will not be valid.
Click to expand...
I know you are right I think the guilt of the one issue hanging over my head is making me over think things. I’m going to go with my list and tackle the big issue first and let him advise me on where to go from there! Thanks so much!
 
Praise God! That is awesome that you are going to Confession. Know that angels in heaven are rejoicing for you!

As the Doctor pointed out, the devil likes to discourage us, feed our fears, and in general get us to procrastinate receiving the grace of God in the sacraments. Don’t let him!

Any priest is going to be happy to hear your Confession. I think starting off with the big things is a good strategy. That’s what I do. It helps to just get it out there before I lose my nerve. 😛 Just let the priest know how long it has been and he will be happy to guide you through. By and large, priests are very good at that.

I will say a prayer that all goes well for you! Keep us posted!
 
Also try to remember to say at the conclusion of your sins
“for these and all the sins of my past live, I am sorry”.

God bless you and welcome home!
 
Thanks be to God! Welcome back brother.

“I say to you, that even so there shall be joy in heaven upon one sinner that doth penance, more than upon ninety-nine just who need not penance.”

Luke 15:7
 
Renegade8408 said:
Needing some encouragement. I have an appointment for my first confession in nearly 20yrs tomorrow. I’m so nervous and scared. I want to go and need to go but worry about messing it up. I was a proselytizing satanist for 16 years and I know that is not something most priest have dealt with. Honestly it would be easier to confess to murder than to what I have done. Ive been going through an examination of conscience using the 10 commandments and am guilty of nearly every sin on the list more times than I can count. I have started writing them down but trying to put a number to it is beyond what I can remember. I could go in with a short book and still leave things out. Do I put it off until I can remember more? Is the Priest going to freak out? How do they handle it when some/many of the sins have caused excommunication (and were done aware of this fact)?

Somebody please give me some encouragement. I’m scared!
Click to expand...
The Lord loves you greatly, and He will be delighted with your return!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top