First confession- is this OK?

[leamar3]

Thank you so much for the information. It seems it’s best for me to go to confession again and confess what I didn’t the first time. Is it necessary to do this before I’m received into the church next Saturday? Or am I OK to receive the Eucharist, since I’m pretty sure I’ve been absolved?

 

[1Lord1Faith]

Thank you so much for the information. It seems it’s best for me to go to confession again and confess what I didn’t the first time. Is it necessary to do this before I’m received into the church next Saturday? Or am I OK to receive the Eucharist, since I’m pretty sure I’ve been absolved?

You are good to go. The priest has the power to absolve you. CAF posters cannot and should not try to take that away from you. The point of all the law you have been shown here is to get a good examination of conscience and not hide anything from your confessor, you meet that criteria as far as I can tell. If you feel short changed, go again. God Bless.

 

[pianistclare]

Thank you so much for the information. It seems it’s best for me to go to confession again and confess what I didn’t the first time. Is it necessary to do this before I’m received into the church next Saturday? Or am I OK to receive the Eucharist, since I’m pretty sure I’ve been absolved?

Since everyone here is second guessing you, I’d definitely ask the priest.
I’m sure you’re fine. But to put your mind at ease, just ask him.
Welcome home.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Since everyone here is second guessing you, I’d definitely ask the priest.
I’m sure you’re fine. But to put your mind at ease, just ask him.
Welcome home.

To the original poster: Rest assured that you have been absolved, so you need not worry about the Easter Vigil. Those things which you wished to confess but did not have the opportunity to do so may simply be mentioned the next time you go to confession.

 

[babochka]

Just to make this general (without getting into a particular case):

Let say the Priest hearing a confession does not let the penitent confess all their mortal sins thought the penitent intends to and wants to …tries to…but the Priest just gives them absolution after they confessed one of them…

The Penitent still is to confess the mortal sins (to another Priest)…even with the Priest not letting him confess them and Priest absolving him …

Many years ago, I returned to the sacrament of Confession after about 10 years away. It was my first confession since my mid-teens, and I had a lot to confess. I had such a difficult time and there were more tears than words coming from me. The priest was kind and patient, but I definitely did not confess my sins in the detail that would generally be considered necessary. Some I did not confess at all, though I intended to. At one point, as I could not stop crying. The priest stopped me and told me that my tears were sufficient and gave me absolution. I continued from that point with regular confession, never looking back, until I came upon CAF. Imagine when I learned that my returning confession had been insufficient! Upon hearing that it was necessary to confess all of those long-put-in-my-past mortal sins, I made an appointment for confession. I explained the situation to him and he assured me that I did NOT need to bring those sins up at that point, but told me that I was welcome to confess them if I desired it. He likened my confession at that time to the story of the Prodigal Son - the son is coming to his father with a practiced narrative, “Father, I have sinned against you and against God”, but his father cuts him off and doesn’t allow the script. My regular confessor at the time was a priest of Opus Dei; he was certainly not someone to take the sacrament lightly or give advice that would put one’s soul in jeopardy. I have peace, and since that time I have learned to take what I read on Catholic Answers with a grain of salt. If I am in doubt, I simply ask a trusted priest, preferably one that I know personally.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Many years ago, I returned to the sacrament of Confession after about 10 years away. It was my first confession since my mid-teens, and I had a lot to confess. I had such a difficult time and there were more tears than words coming from me. The priest was kind and patient, but I definitely did not confess my sins in the detail that would generally be considered necessary. Some I did not confess at all, though I intended to. At one point, as I could not stop crying. The priest stopped me and told me that my tears were sufficient and gave me absolution. I continued from that point with regular confession, never looking back, until I came upon CAF. Imagine when I learned that my returning confession had been insufficient! Upon hearing that it was necessary to confess all of those long-put-in-my-past mortal sins, I made an appointment for confession. I explained the situation to him and he assured me that I did NOT need to bring those sins up at that point, but told me that I was welcome to confess them if I desired it. He likened my confession at that time to the story of the Prodigal Son - the son is coming to his father with a practiced narrative, “Father, I have sinned against you and against God”, but his father cuts him off and doesn’t allow the script. My regular confessor at the time was a priest of Opus Dei; he was certainly not someone to take the sacrament lightly or give advice that would put one’s soul in jeopardy. I have peace, and since that time I have learned to take what I read on Catholic Answers with a grain of salt. If I am in doubt, I simply ask a trusted priest, preferably one that I know personally.

How beautifully expressed, babochka…and exactly true.

Many posters, I find, are quick to offer their thoughts when they actually have so little basis to do so…being neither priests nor even adequately formed in moral theology, sacramental theology or pastoral theology.

As you say, matters of this sort are best dealt with by turning to a priest in person…not soliciting the opinions of people on the Internet. It is a blessing that you have such fatherly priests in your life.

 

[Isca]

How beautifully expressed, babochka…and exactly true.

Many posters, I find, are quick to offer their thoughts when they actually have so little basis to do so…being neither priests nor even adequately formed in moral theology, sacramental theology or pastoral theology.

As you say, matters of this sort are best dealt with by turning to a priest in person…not soliciting the opinions of people on the Internet. It is a blessing that you have such fatherly priests in your life.

Thank you for saying this, your words are a comfort to me.

I have 100% confidence in the priest who hears my confession, as he is truly an inspiration to all who are lucky enough to know him. He lives his faith all the time. He is a compassionate and spiritual man, and he has been instrumental in helping me to convert to Catholicism. If he’s “not doing it right”, I’d be hard-pressed to imagine who would!

 

[Bookcat]

Some I did not confess at all, though I intended to. At one point, as I could not stop crying. The priest stopped me and told me that my tears were sufficient and gave me absolution.

I cannot directly comment too much there. But can there be cases where it becomes not possible for the Penitent to confess there and then all the mortal sins - say due to not being able to speak due to tears? Yes cases of such impossibility could arise. If such arise - then in the next confession one would confess the mortal sins that were not confessed due to it not being possible…it if becomes impossible …well then it becomes impossible. But once that “impossibility” ceases the mortal sins are to be confessed (in the next confession… no need to run there).

The other Priest may not have understood that you had not in fact confessed certain actual mortal sins (unless perhaps they were venial sins).

Venial sins do not need to be confessed but may.

Now I will note for some readers who are scrupulous - that they can be in a different boat. Their regular confessor can direct them in their particular case.

There can be various cases where the Priest must make a judgement regarding how to proceed with a particular penitent.

And a case may arise where one no longer remembers what to confess! We are not expected to be Mr. Spock.

 

[Bookcat]

I don’t think we can assume that the OP had a gob of Mortal sins to confess…

Correct - the OP would not need to confess *any *venial sins (unless they had only venial sins - then they need at least one) - though they may do so.

 

[Bookcat]

Correct but wouldn’t it be true that in a case like this, let’s say the priest cuts a person off, and then the sins you had you forgot afterwards. He would still be absolved right?
.

I was not addressing in that post cases where there would be a Penitent is say “cut off” and absolved etc - (where the Penitent intents to confess all mortal sins and tries but the Priest cuts him off and absolves him). But rather the* general reality* that “all mortal sins must be confessed” (certain cases may still make this not possible…memory…certain scruples etc). For example a person forgets a mortal sin - while intending to confess em all - they still are to be confessed later (next confession). Or the case where a person is absolved in an emergency - the plane is crashing in that case (if they survive) they are to confess any mortal sins as soon as possible.

This the post I mean (for new readers):

Compendium issued by Pope Benedict XVI:

304. Which sins must be confessed?

1456

All grave sins not yet confessed, which a careful examination of conscience brings to mind, must be brought to the sacrament of Penance. The confession of serious sins is the only ordinary way to obtain forgiveness.

(note: grave sins = mortal sins).

vatican.va/archive/compendium_ccc/documents/archive_2005_compendium-ccc_en.html

Catechism of the Catholic Church:

1456 Confession to a priest is an essential part of the sacrament of Penance: "All mortal sins of which penitents after a diligent self-examination are conscious must be recounted by them in confession…

www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c2a4.htm#1455

Canon Law:

Can. 988 §1. A member of the Christian faithful is obliged to confess in kind and number all grave sins committed after baptism …

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P3H.HTM

Jimmy Akin (Catholic Answers senior apologist):

jimmyakin.com/2012/03/confessing-by-kind-and-number.html

 

[exnihilo]

I was not with you in confession So I cannot directly comment too much there (and if I was I could not!). But can there be cases where it becomes not possible for the Penitent to confess there and then all the mortal sins - say due to not being able to speak due to tears? Yes cases of such impossibility could arise. If such arise - then in the next confession one would confess the mortal sins that were not confessed due to it not being possible…it if becomes impossible …well then it becomes impossible. But once that “impossibility” ceases the mortal sins are to be confessed (in the next confession… no need to run there).

The other Priest may not have understood that you had not in fact confessed certain actual mortal sins (unless perhaps they were venial sins).

Venial sins do not need to be confessed but may.

Now I will note for some readers who are scrupulous - that they can be in a different boat. Their regular confessor can direct them in their particular case.

There can be various cases where the Priest must make a judgement regarding how to proceed with a particular penitent.

And a case may arise where one no longer remembers what to confess! We are not expected to be Mr. Spock.

What it takes to make a good confession seems rather straightforward and simple to me. As with anything there are exceptions or unusual circumstances and the Church is always generous. It seems to me deviating from the simple requirements only spreads confusion and doubt. If there aren’t really any requirements at all then it is no wonder confession lines are often short but the communion line long.

 

[Bookcat]

And I would add (in general) regarding a person who is coming in to full communion with the Church - can there be matter that were grave matter - but where mortal sin was not committed? Yes sure. I imagine a number of things get confessed by converts that did not “need” to be confessed (though it was good for them …grace and the benefit of saying it in confession itself).

 

[babochka]

I cannot directly comment too much there. But can there be cases where it becomes not possible for the Penitent to confess there and then all the mortal sins - say due to not being able to speak due to tears? Yes cases of such impossibility could arise. If such arise - then in the next confession one would confess the mortal sins that were not confessed due to it not being possible…it if becomes impossible …well then it becomes impossible. But once that “impossibility” ceases the mortal sins are to be confessed (in the next confession… no need to run there).

The other Priest may not have understood that you had not in fact confessed certain actual mortal sins (unless perhaps they were venial sins).

He understood very well. He knew me well, I was reasonably articulate and we were not pressed for time. I am not scrupulous. There was no reason that he might have misunderstood and his answer made it clear to me that he did understand.

Now I will note for some readers who are scrupulous - that they can be in a different boat. Their regular confessor can direct them in their particular case.

There can be various cases where the Priest must make a judgement regarding how to proceed with a particular penitent.

This is the case with every confession, with every penitent, scrupulous or not. The priest makes a judgement how to proceed each time.

I realize that you have a particular zeal for educating the public in this subject, but I also believe that your one-sided and somewhat legalistic answers can serve to undermine the confidence that a penitent has in his or her confessor - even if that person is not scrupulous.

 

[CB_Catholic]

This is disturbing to me: A priest in good standing who has years of experience, education, and training and multiple degrees has given the answer from the standpoint of the Church, yet people seem to be ignoring what he says. Why is this?

Listen to the priest. He is qualified to answer. Questions like this require a priest, not a group of anonymous laypeople.

 

[CB_Catholic]

I was not addressing in that post cases where there would be a Penitent is say “cut off” and absolved etc - (where the Penitent intents to confess all mortal sins and tries but the Priest cuts him off and absolves him). But rather the* general reality* that “all mortal sins must be confessed” (certain cases may still make this not possible…memory…certain scruples etc). For example a person forgets a mortal sin - while intending to confess em all - they still are to be confessed later (next confession). Or the case where a person is absolved in an emergency - the plane is crashing in that case (if they survive) they are to confess any mortal sins as soon as possible.

This the post I mean (for new readers):

Your first 13 or so posts contradict this one, esp. post # 13. You directly stated that the OP should confess to another priest. You put no qualifications on it, and you knew the circumstances of the Confession. How are we to read your mind???

Father said he could confess again if he wanted to, but it was NOT necessary–he was absolved. He would know, that’s his job.

 

[Bookcat]

Note too that we are discussing the needed confession of mortal sins. There is more to a mortal sin than the “grave matter” So can there be a number of things that do not “need” to be confessed in case of the the first confession of a person who is coming into the full communion with the Church? Yes. A convert may be trying to confess things that are not needed to be confessed (though it can still be good for various reasons-noting though that one did not know it was a serious thing etc). The Priest can help them.

(though note too that a person can still know its seriousness without knowing the term mortal sin…so just because one did not know that term does not mean that one did not know that say murder was very serious…etc).

 

[Bookcat]

Correct but wouldn’t it be true that in a case like this, let’s say the priest cuts a person off, and then the sins you had you forgot afterwards. He would still be absolved right?
.

(I am redoing this post here - to make an addition - readers be sure to read this one not the other one like it)

I was not addressing in that post cases where there would be a Penitent is say “cut off” and absolved etc - (where the Penitent intents to confess all mortal sins and tries but the Priest cuts him off and absolves him). (Meaning I was not addressing in that particular post if they were absolved or not - but noting that in the cases where a Person is absolved (and they can be varied) and legitimately has not said all their mortal sins (like they forgot one etc) - they would later be confessed.)

The* general reality * is that “all mortal sins must be confessed” (certain cases may *still *make this not possible…memory…certain scruples etc but they are exceptions). For example a person forgets a mortal sin - while intending to confess em all - they still are to be confessed later (next confession). Or the case where a person is absolved in an emergency - the plane is crashing in that case (if they survive) they are to confess any mortal sins as soon as possible.

This the post I mean (for new readers):

Compendium issued by Pope Benedict XVI:

304. Which sins must be confessed?

1456

All grave sins not yet confessed, which a careful examination of conscience brings to mind, must be brought to the sacrament of Penance. The confession of serious sins is the only ordinary way to obtain forgiveness.

(note: grave sins = mortal sins).

vatican.va/archive/compendium_ccc/documents/archive_2005_compendium-ccc_en.html

Catechism of the Catholic Church:

1456 Confession to a priest is an essential part of the sacrament of Penance: "All mortal sins of which penitents after a diligent self-examination are conscious must be recounted by them in confession…

www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c2a4.htm#1455

Canon Law:

Can. 988 §1. A member of the Christian faithful is obliged to confess in kind and number all grave sins committed after baptism …

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P3H.HTM

Jimmy Akin (Catholic Answers senior apologist):

jimmyakin.com/2012/03/confessing-by-kind-and-number.html

 

[babochka]

Thank you for saying this, your words are a comfort to me.

I have 100% confidence in the priest who hears my confession, as he is truly an inspiration to all who are lucky enough to know him. He lives his faith all the time. He is a compassionate and spiritual man, and he has been instrumental in helping me to convert to Catholicism. If he’s “not doing it right”, I’d be hard-pressed to imagine who would!

Yes! We must have confidence in our priests, that they know how to administer the sacraments, that they seek the good of our souls. If we find a particular confession to be less than satisfying, we can always try another confessor next time and seek his advice. I just hate to see our confidence in priests undermined by black-and-white thinking that cannot take into account individual circumstances, yet purports to give advice to individuals.

 

[Bookcat]

Your first 13 or so posts contradict this one, esp. post # 13. You directly stated that the OP should confess to another priest. You put no qualifications on it, and you knew the circumstances of the Confession. How are we to read your mind???

Father said he could confess again if he wanted to, but it was NOT necessary–he was absolved. He would know, that’s his job.

Funny thing is…

I was actually rewriting that post when you posted this…and so I just deleted it …to post it after this one and to tell you to look at the one coming.

(it is not an “option” that one freely chooses (like "if you want to go ahead if you do not do not) to not confess all ones mortal sins…if there was some legit reason why they where not yet confessed…like forgetting them etc…they are still to be confessed).

 

[Bookcat]

Correct but wouldn’t it be true that in a case like this, let’s say the priest cuts a person off, and then the sins you had you forgot afterwards. He would still be absolved right?
.

(I am redoing this post here - to make an addition - readers be sure to read this one not the other one like it)

I was not addressing in that post cases where there would be a Penitent is say “cut off” and absolved etc - (where the Penitent intents to confess all mortal sins and tries but the Priest cuts him off and absolves him). (Meaning I was not addressing in that particular post if they were absolved or not - but noting that in the cases where a Person is absolved (and they can be varied) and legitimately has not said all their mortal sins (like they forgot one etc) - they would later be confessed.)

The* general reality * is that “all mortal sins must be confessed” (certain cases may *still *make this not possible…memory…certain scruples etc but they are exceptions). For example a person forgets a mortal sin - while intending to confess em all - they still are to be confessed later (next confession). Or the case where a person is absolved in an emergency - the plane is crashing in that case (if they survive) they are to confess any mortal sins as soon as possible.

This the post I mean (for new readers):

Compendium issued by Pope Benedict XVI:

304. Which sins must be confessed?

1456

All grave sins not yet confessed, which a careful examination of conscience brings to mind, must be brought to the sacrament of Penance. The confession of serious sins is the only ordinary way to obtain forgiveness.

(note: grave sins = mortal sins).

vatican.va/archive/compendium_ccc/documents/archive_2005_compendium-ccc_en.html

Catechism of the Catholic Church:

1456 Confession to a priest is an essential part of the sacrament of Penance: "All mortal sins of which penitents after a diligent self-examination are conscious must be recounted by them in confession…

www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c2a4.htm#1455

Canon Law:

Can. 988 §1. A member of the Christian faithful is obliged to confess in kind and number all grave sins committed after baptism …

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P3H.HTM

Jimmy Akin (Catholic Answers senior apologist):

jimmyakin.com/2012/03/confessing-by-kind-and-number.html