First Confession Jitters

[cowgirl89]

Hi all! Anyone have any tips or advice on first confessions? I just called to set up an appointment for mine (i am a candidate in RCIA) and i’m already completely freaking out about it…i’m not exactly sure of what i’m supposed say/do and am completely disgusted with the sins i’ll be confessing…HELP!

 

[FightingFat]

Hi all! Anyone have any tips or advice on first confessions? I just called to set up an appointment for mine (i am a candidate in RCIA) and i’m already completely freaking out about it…i’m not exactly sure of what i’m supposed say/do and am completely disgusted with the sins i’ll be confessing…HELP!

God love you! First confession is a bit scary, but you will relax as soon as you get into the confessional, because this is a sacrament (one of the ways we experience God in our lives in a very real and powerful way) and it is a way to experience God’s compassion and love for us! When you receive absolution, you feel amazing! Like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

The fact that you are worried is a good sign. It means that you are examining you life thoroughly and sincerely. It means you will make a good confession.

Do you want a break down of what to say and do when you enter the confessional? Only I would have thought that this would have been given to you at RCIA.

A great way to prepare is what is called an examination of conscience. There are some wonderful reflections you can use and I’m sure many here would be able to provide you with some if you like!

Try not to worry-- or if you can’t help it, be nervous in anticipation of your forgiveness!

God bless

Mark.

 

[ausculta]

Hi all! Anyone have any tips or advice on first confessions? I just called to set up an appointment for mine (i am a candidate in RCIA) and i’m already completely freaking out about it…i’m not exactly sure of what i’m supposed say/do and am completely disgusted with the sins i’ll be confessing…HELP!

May God’s peace be with you!

I applaud you on your initial courage to undergo one of the most nerve-racking experiences in the life of conversion. Don’t give up! And do not neglect to ask Our Lady to intercede on your behalf for the courage and the grace to make a good confession. I speak from experience. I came back to the church two years ago after being away for 10 long and dark years. And it took the entirety of those two years to build up the courage and resolve to go to confession and rid myself of all the shameful filth that had accumulated. I kick myself now for having waited so long, but I thank God for preserving my life long enough for me to eventually seek reconciliation with his Church.

My advice for you is to familiarize yourself with the sacrament as best you can. If you find yourself completely in a state of amnesia when you walk into the confessional simply let the priest know that this is your first confession and he will walk you through it. Also, do some prep beforehand. Get a good examination of conscience. If you have a local Catholic bookstore see if they have An Examination of Conscience – A Preparation for the Sacrament of Penance by Fr. Robert Altier. It’s a pocket-sized booklet put out by Leaflet Missal Company, and it costs about $2. Inside it goes over the sacrament and has a very thorough examination of conscience. The best part about the examine is that it delineates between mortal and venial matters (two separate lists), so you can focus on the big stuff (mortal). OR you can use an online one, like this one: fisheaters.com/penance.html

Make a list of your sins! Yes, write them down. Because if you’re like me you’ll forget to mention things due to the anxiety of the moment. And be sure to destroy the list later. Some other advice: Mention the most embarrassing sins first and get them over with! The confession will be easier from then on out. And don’t think even for one second that you’re going to confess something that the priest has never heard. Priests have heard everything under the sun. I confessed 10 years of material (pages of embarrassing stuff) and do you know what that priest told me afterward?

Quote: “God loved you before you sinned, while you sinned and he loves you now.”

Grace is everything. You’ll be okay. I will keep you in my prayers. Please come back and let us know how it went.

Peace.

 

[Nuance]

First confessions can be scary! It’s normal to be worried or nervous about your first confession.

One thing to keep in mind to help you calm down is that in his capacity as a priest, the priest you will be confessing to listens to confessions regularly. He is used to hearing people state their sins, and he is not there to judge you, he is there to forgive you. You may be disgusted by your sins, but you are in the confessional so that you no longer have to worry about them, so that you can receive absolution for them. It takes nerve to be able to speak them aloud, but it’s part of the healing and letting go process.

And as other posters have said, the feeling of absolution is real and amazing! The relief and catharsis you’ll receive after your absolution will make it all worth it.

 

[LilyM]

First confessions can be scary! It’s normal to be worried or nervous about your first confession.

One thing to keep in mind to help you calm down is that in his capacity as a priest, the priest you will be confessing to listens to confessions regularly. He is used to hearing people state their sins, and he is not there to judge you, he is there to forgive you. You may be disgusted by your sins, but you are in the confessional so that you no longer have to worry about them, so that you can receive absolution for them. It takes nerve to be able to speak them aloud, but it’s part of the healing and letting go process.

And as other posters have said, the feeling of absolution is real and amazing! The relief and catharsis you’ll receive after your absolution will make it all worth it.

I think the reason Christ, through His church, has taught on the necessity of confession at least for serious sin is that, exactly as you state, it DOES force us to confront those not-so-pleasant parts of our character that we’d rather avoid. In that sense it’s actually a good thing - just like other forms of counselling and therapy, which for the most part might be similarly confronting and unpleasant but also beneficial.

Fancy that - God introducing the best, most cost-effective, form of therapy you could ever wish for, since in it He Himself is the divine physician and spiritual counsellor healing our ills - all 1900-some years before Freud ever thought of it!

Unlike therapy, however, the ‘closure’ or resolution comes right then and there in the confessional - we receive healing through God’s absolution. It’s the coming to life of the verse from Psalm 51, ‘wash me and I shall be whiter than snow’.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

i’m not exactly sure of what i’m supposed say/do

Here’s a quick “how-to”:

• Before you enter the confessional, pray to the Holy Spirit for help, and examine your conscience.
• Enter the confessional. (You may have the choice of sitting face-to-face or kneeling behind a screen. It’s okay to peek into the confessional when nobody is there so you will know what to expect.) The priest may greet you in some way. If he says nothing, make the sign of the cross. Then say, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."
• Say “It has been ____________ (how long?) since my last confession” or "This is my first confession."
• Confess your sins. You must confess ALL serious (mortal) sins that you remember, in number and kind. (Simply name the sin and give your best estimate of how many times/how often you have committed it). Start with the difficult ones, the rest will be easy! It is a good idea, although not strictly necessary, to also confess venial sins, especially those that give you the most trouble and you want to overcome. Confessing them gives you grace to overcome them.
• The priest will give you some advice. He will give you a penance, usually some prayers or work of charity. Even if you are nervous, try to remember what he asks you to do. If he gives you something you think you can’t do (e.g., a prayer you don’t know), let him know and he may help you locate it or give you a different penance.
• He will ask you to make an act of contrition (this is a prayer expressing your sorrow). Normally you will pray this right there in the confessional. There are several versions; have one memorized, or bring one in on a piece of paper. Here is the one I use:

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin. Amen.

• The priest will pray the prayer of absolution, ending with the words, “and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” You respond, “Amen.” You are forgiven … rejoice!
• The priest will dismiss you. Some priests say the words, “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.” Your response would be, "His mercy endures forever."
• Thank the priest and leave the confessional.
• Do the assigned penance. Thank God for His mercy!

 

[Eucharisted]

Hi all! Anyone have any tips or advice on first confessions? I just called to set up an appointment for mine (i am a candidate in RCIA) and i’m already completely freaking out about it…i’m not exactly sure of what i’m supposed say/do and am completely disgusted with the sins i’ll be confessing…HELP!

Examination of conscence
Trust in God
Know that you’re confessing to God through the priest, not to the priest
Trust in God
Make an act of contrition (can be as simple as the Jesus Prayer) after confession
Trust in God

 

[MarieVeronica]

Hi cowgirl aw, sorry to hear you’re nervous. :hug1: Hang in there!

Try to remember, that you are about to have an encounter with our LOVING and MERCIFUL Lord Jesus. The priest, to whom you will make your confession… is there… as His minister. And he will receive you, in that spirit. Love and Mercy.

Keep in mind… that there is nothing that most priests have not already heard. Nothing you say to Father, will be shocking. I promise you. There is no need for you to be afraid. Priests are very well trained, in how to respond to each penitent. They know what to do… if we forget a prayer, etc. (btw, the “Act of Contrition” is usually printed right there in the Confessional, so you can read it… if you forget the words).

It might help you to make notes, too… and carry them right into the Confessional. Some people don’t like to take notes… but I find it helps me to remember everything better.

I hope you will post your response after your First Confession. It’s always so wonderful to hear the effects that this awesome Sacrament have on us. I guarantee… you will wonder how you ever got along without the Sacrament of Reconciliation. God bless you.

 

[cowgirl89]

Thanks everyone! I’m starting to feel a bit more comfortable about the whole thing now- I will definately let know how it goes! Thanks again and God bless

 

[Junebug999]

Hi Cowgirl – I just made my first confession a few weeks ago. I am 55 and had a lifetime of some pretty grave stuff to confess and one HUGE OH MY embarrassing thing from my youth. And I did it – I confessed it all. It did help me that I went to a private confessional booth versus face to face, and I did that because of the OH MY part. But, I did it, i said it, I confessed it all, and received absolution through God’s priest of the One True Church. And I left that booth feeling WHITE AS SNOW. I have not committed any grave sins since them, and I do not intend to. I am in RCIA also, being confirmed at Easter Vigil. So, confess it, confess it all, give it all up to God, and you will feel great afterwards. God bless you, I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[cowgirl89]

hey everyone! i did it and i feel so much better it was definately kind of awkward at first especially because it was face to face in his office, but he was really nice. he didn’t have me pray the act of contrition tho… he just gave me a penance and absolution…is that still valid?? anyhoo- i do feel good about it.

 

[rpp]

:flowers:

Congratulations! That is great! I remember my first confession. I had to reach back to when I was baptized at age 14, more than 30 years! That was rather difficult. I spent days preparing for it and even went so far as to get a special notebook and pen, when never left my side, to write down all the sins I could ever remember. My first confession lasted around 40 or 45 minutes. After that, I burned the notebook and the pen, stirred the ashes and disposed of them. (I cannot recall if I buried them, or poured them into the storm sewer or flushed them down the toilet.)

As for not saying the act of contrition, I know some priests that habitually do not do this. When I happen to confess to one of these priests, I try to remember to say the Act of Contrition as soon as I leave the confessional.

Finally, welcome to the Church!

 

[BlestOne]

hey everyone! i did it and i feel so much better it was definately kind of awkward at first especially because it was face to face in his office, but he was really nice. he didn’t have me pray the act of contrition tho… he just gave me a penance and absolution…is that still valid?? anyhoo- i do feel good about it.

Of course it is…

Congrats you have now been initiated into the best kept Catholic secret… isn’t it awesome how good you feel when you are done? That is as God intended it to be… full of his grace!

It is a shame that our Protestant brethren don’t know how good this is for you and how wonderful it feels! Pray that one day they get past their preconceived ideas and come to love this sacrament and the graces that flow from it!

 

[MarieVeronica]

hey everyone! i did it and i feel so much better it was definately kind of awkward at first especially because it was face to face in his office, but he was really nice. he didn’t have me pray the act of contrition tho… he just gave me a penance and absolution…is that still valid?? anyhoo- i do feel good about it.

Yay!!! So happy for you!!!:bounce:

Yes, the Confession is valid… as long as the priest pronounces the words, “I absolve you from your sins…” etc.

I have a priest who never gives me a penance to say… and I was worried about it. But was assured by everyone here, that my confessions are still valid. But he always asks me to say the Act of Contrition… so, just the opposite from your priest. Both valid, though.

Isn’t it a wonderful feeling to have all that weight lifted from yer shoulders! I love going to Confession!

God bless.

 

[VociMike]

hey everyone! i did it and i feel so much better it was definately kind of awkward at first especially because it was face to face in his office, but he was really nice. he didn’t have me pray the act of contrition tho… he just gave me a penance and absolution…is that still valid?? anyhoo- i do feel good about it.

See, we told you!

Anyway, the priest probably saw your entire confession as one huge act of contrition, and didn’t feel the need for you to belabor the point.

 

[ausculta]

hey everyone! i did it and i feel so much better it was definately kind of awkward at first especially because it was face to face in his office, but he was really nice. he didn’t have me pray the act of contrition tho… he just gave me a penance and absolution…is that still valid?? anyhoo- i do feel good about it.

Congratulations! And welcome home.

Now don’t be a stranger to the confessional. If you fall again, get back up and confess. The grace of the sacrament combined with the Eucharist are what fuel our sanctification. If you’re blessed with freedom from mortal matters, then use confession to address the roots of mortal sin: venial matters and imperfections. Once a month is a good practice – keeps you focused.

God’s Peace.

 

[Simon_X]

hey everyone! i did it and i feel so much better it was definately kind of awkward at first especially because it was face to face in his office, but he was really nice. he didn’t have me pray the act of contrition tho… he just gave me a penance and absolution…is that still valid?? anyhoo- i do feel good about it.

Congrats Cowgirl! Believe it or not, it does get easier and really helps to keep us on the right track. Do try to go often and use this great Sacrament to keep close to God.

God Bless…

 

[benedictus2]

hey everyone! i did it and i feel so much better it was definately kind of awkward at first especially because it was face to face in his office, but he was really nice. he didn’t have me pray the act of contrition tho… he just gave me a penance and absolution…is that still valid?? anyhoo- i do feel good about it.

WELCOME HOME!

 

[Marian_Devotee]

Cowgirl,

God loves you, and the Blessed Mother loves you. Welcome home!!!

 

[JLSamuel818]

I remember my first confession, I almost cried.

Such a humble experience.