First confession was humiliating

[here_i_stand]

I had my first confession this past Saturday and my experience was very similar to yours (except we were well-prepared for it in RCIA). I’m not as young as you are, so I had some sins which have been on my mind and conscience for 30 plus years. To hear myself say them out loud was devastating. I was a crying emotional wreck. I wasn’t even sure if I had made a good confession because, in my state of mind, I neglected to confess some mortal sins. Yesterday, I went to a different parish which had confession at a time that worked with my schedule, explained my situation, and asked what I should do. The priest was extremely kind and helpful. That particular parish also had adoration going on, and the priest asked if I could spend some time in front of the Blessed Host. It was only THEN, when I was kneeling before our Lord, when I experienced true relief and a feeling of forgiveness. I looked at the crucifix and imagined each one of my past sins being nailed to the cross with Christ. So, I don’t know your state of mind right now, but maybe it would help to speak with a priest.(?) At our RCIA class last night, someone said that Satan is working his hardest right now at this time right before we enter the Church, and I truly believe that! Just know that I am praying for you and I hope you can find peace with the knowledge that your sins are forgiven and you can put them behind you.

 

[PJM]

=ameliepoir;12861592]I’m a young woman - raised Baptist, in RCIA, will be confirmed this Saturday. I went to my first confession today. I was really nervous and embarrassed at the prospect of spilling all my sins to a priest. I read a lot online to prepare, and was comforted by other people saying how confession felt like a relief for them. So I thought it might be like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

I wrote down all my sins and also the format (we didn’t go over it at all in RCIA) on a sheet of paper and brought this into the confessional. Reading them was even more embarrassing than I was expecting. I felt like my voice was so loud (well, it kind of was… halfway through the priest whispered “not so loud”) and that the confessional box was spinning and shrinking. I got through most of my sins before the priest spoke up and asked a few questions about me. Then he told me to read the act of contrition, which I wasn’t prepared for. I didn’t know it, but luckily there was a card in the confessional. A few lines in, I just started crying uncontrollably. I was pathetic, and I still feel that way.

I left the confessional feeling so small and vulnerable. I cried for another hour, and then again when I got home and took a shower. I’m crying again as I type. I’m so worried about when I have to go back. I need to feel the love of Jesus again. Through this entire RCIA process, I’ve felt like my pride is being torn down. Partly this is because I used to be so combative when I would have arguments with Catholic friends about Christianity. From standing in front of the church during rites and scrutinies to even answering small questions about my confirmation journey, I’ve always felt a small pang of shame. This had its full, terrible culmination for me today in the confessional. I don’t feel comfortable talking to any of my friends or family about this, so I would appreciate your prayers and any words of comfort or advice you have for me going forward.

I’m TRULY sorry for your experience. It is NOT the NORM.

As a FORMER RCIA teacher, my experience has been that the priest will hold a personal- GENERAL [non specific] Confession based on one;s ENTIRE past life and sins.

Even without this you should have been instructed HOW to go to Confession and to TELL the Priest that this is your FIRST Confession, so he could guide you.

However we ALL need to understand that ALL Confession tend to be shameful; after all we are asking and seeking GODS forgiveness for the times we have failed HIM.

The tradition of using a priest for sin forgiveness goes back some 4,000 years to Moses and Aaron {Exodus 28, Lev.; 20& 26 & 31} and is perfected in the New Testament** 1 John 1: 8*10, 1 John 5:1-17 & and John 20:19-29}**

We need to understand that Catholic Priest are BOUND and may NOT under ANY circumstances or conditions share what he has heard under the SEAL of Sacramental Confession.

As a FYI:

I offer a totally FREE of ALL cost home study course that is FAR more comprehensive than the time-restraints of RCIA via weekly e-mailed lessons.

If you’d care to really learn what we believe and why we do, and why we Practice as we do send me a private message. I also answer all FAITH questions.

God Bless you and WELCOME HOME!

Patrick

 

[ccmcmg]

Welcome, my friend, to the Catholic Church. I’m so glad you were able to make your first confession as you prepare for an amazing moment in your life…becoming a full Catholic! As you’ve just learned, it isn’t easy to do what is asked of us, and sometimes, it’s down right hard. But with God’s Grace and Love, we can do it, from the smallest to the biggest things He’s asked of us.

I know you used the word ‘humiliating’, but could in fact, ‘humbling’ be a better word? Being humbled is no easy task. There was no one but you and God to see and feel your embarrassment.

I’ve had various feelings after Confession, especially my first one back after many sinful years away. I’ve felt joyful, sad, humbled, empty, ‘nothing’. We won’t always receive the same gift, or sometimes any gift, after a Sacrament. Sometimes the challenge is to continue to do the right thing, even when the ‘good’ feelings aren’t there, because we can’t base our faith on feeling.

God bless and keep you, especially this wonderful Easter!

 

[DakiniArtist]

So sorry, my friend! Yikes.

I recently made my first confession, by appointment. I cried like a baby. I managed to hold it most of it in and sobbed uncontrollably when I got home, but I’m older than you, I’m sure.

Nothing to add these fine folks haven’t. Just that, in the true words of CS Lewis, our souls crave purgatory. Indeed, RCIA tends to be a deep-cleanse.

:hug1:

 

[Faith1960]

Congrats on your first confession. It gets easier the more often you go. I’m a cradle Catholic who left the CC foe 24 years, then returned about 9 years ago. Confession is easier for me now, but I still get a little nervous. You did good!

 

[OraLabora]

Through this entire RCIA process, I’ve felt like my pride is being torn down. Partly this is because I used to be so combative when I would have arguments with Catholic friends about Christianity.

This struck a chord with me. To comfort you, two things. One, Saint Paul, as Saul, did even worse than be combative as Saul. He persecuted Christians and sent them to their deaths as a devout Jew until his conversion on the road to Damascus.

Yet the Lord somehow forgave him and used him as an instrument for the evangelization of the pagan peoples. The Lord has brought you to exactly where He wants you to be… and He forgives you for your past combativeness.

The second thing: I really understand what you mean about having your pride torn down. Although I was a cradle Catholic, I left the Church in my late teens and lived as, what I call it now, a fundamentalist atheist. Like you I was combative and argumentative about it.

The hardest part of coming back to the Church 18 years ago, was eating humble pie and having to admit to all my Christian friends that I had been wrong about atheism all along. So I understand, I think, a bit of what you feel.

You are in my prayers, may your journey to Christ be blessed, and have a happy Easter!

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I’m a young woman - raised Baptist, in RCIA, will be confirmed this Saturday. I went to my first confession today. I was really nervous and embarrassed at the prospect of spilling all my sins to a priest. I read a lot online to prepare, and was comforted by other people saying how confession felt like a relief for them. So I thought it might be like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

I wrote down all my sins and also the format (we didn’t go over it at all in RCIA) on a sheet of paper and brought this into the confessional. Reading them was even more embarrassing than I was expecting. I felt like my voice was so loud (well, it kind of was… halfway through the priest whispered “not so loud”) and that the confessional box was spinning and shrinking. I got through most of my sins before the priest spoke up and asked a few questions about me. Then he told me to read the act of contrition, which I wasn’t prepared for. I didn’t know it, but luckily there was a card in the confessional. A few lines in, I just started crying uncontrollably. I was pathetic, and I still feel that way.

I left the confessional feeling so small and vulnerable. I cried for another hour, and then again when I got home and took a shower. I’m crying again as I type. I’m so worried about when I have to go back. I need to feel the love of Jesus again. Through this entire RCIA process, I’ve felt like my pride is being torn down. Partly this is because I used to be so combative when I would have arguments with Catholic friends about Christianity. From standing in front of the church during rites and scrutinies to even answering small questions about my confirmation journey, I’ve always felt a small pang of shame. This had its full, terrible culmination for me today in the confessional. I don’t feel comfortable talking to any of my friends or family about this, so I would appreciate your prayers and any words of comfort or advice you have for me going forward.

Yours is the second post today detailing an RCIA course not covering or providing an opportunity to deal with confessing. This is something that needs to be addressed.

Good for you for going. And though it was unpleasant, keep it up!

 

[ameliepoir]

I’m so glad I posted here! Your responses have all been so encouraging and given me lots to reflect on this week. Be assured, I’m taking notes.

Happy Easter to all.

 

[littlestsouls2]

Just remember, when the Priest says, ‘I absolve thee’, it is Our Lord Who speaks.

God knows that we are sometimes ashamed of ourselves. Like St. Peter, we might, from time to time, say: ‘Thou shalt never wash my feet’ (Jn. 13:8). But Jesus encourages us; He wants to embrace us. The very fact of our desire to go to Confession is a sign of His embrace, because it is His grace and love that inspires us to repent.

Below is a beautiful prayer that you might like to say before Confession. It was revealed by Our Lord to Servant of God, Sr. Benigna Consolata, a Visitation nun.

My Jesus, my most pure Jesus, Immaculate Lamb, Divine Pelican, who in this Sacrament of Mercy has created a saving bath out of Thy Precious Blood, in which we may cleanse our souls and purify them from every stain; Thou who art a most pure Lily and lov’st to be surrounded by lilies, grant that I may approach this divine Sacrament with the dispositions Thy Heart desires to find in me, so that I may participate in the treasures of grace inclosed in this mine of love. O Jesus, what Thou desirest most is to find in the soul a great depth of humility; dig deep, then, O Jesus, and fill it with Thy divine Mercy; infuse also in my heart a lively faith, a firm hope, an ardent charity, and an unlimited confidence, that I may share in all the treasures of grace reserved for me in this divine Sacrament.”

 

[Pax2u]

OP, it probably seemed a lot worse to you because you were nervous, and it was the first time so you weren’t sure what to expect. That’s a very normal reaction. But what you described sounded like you did just fine.

Satan would like nothing better than to have us choose not to go to Confession, and I blame him for a lot of the fear and nervousness about the sacrament. I’ve been going for over 50 years, and I still get that nervous feeling before going…even though I know there’s no reason to be!!!

Don’t worry about not having an Act of Contrition memorized. My DH just makes up his own, says something to the effect of “Dear Lord, I’m truly sorry for my sins. Please give me your grace and help me not to sin again.” And I believe just about every Confessional/Reconciliation Room will have a printed prayer for you to read if you “blank out.” And you know what…if your mind went blank you could just say “Father, I’m so nervous my mind just went blank” and I believe he’d help you through it!!!

Welcome to the Church, and have a blessed Easter season!

 

[Memaw]

I had my first confession this past Saturday and my experience was very similar to yours (except we were well-prepared for it in RCIA). I’m not as young as you are, so I had some sins which have been on my mind and conscience for 30 plus years. To hear myself say them out loud was devastating. I was a crying emotional wreck. I wasn’t even sure if I had made a good confession because, in my state of mind, I neglected to confess some mortal sins. Yesterday, I went to a different parish which had confession at a time that worked with my schedule, explained my situation, and asked what I should do. The priest was extremely kind and helpful. That particular parish also had adoration going on, and the priest asked if I could spend some time in front of the Blessed Host. It was only THEN, when I was kneeling before our Lord, when I experienced true relief and a feeling of forgiveness. I looked at the crucifix and imagined each one of my past sins being nailed to the cross with Christ. So, I don’t know your state of mind right now, but maybe it would help to speak with a priest.(?) At our RCIA class last night, someone said that Satan is working his hardest right now at this time right before we enter the Church, and I truly believe that! Just know that I am praying for you and I hope you can find peace with the knowledge that your sins are forgiven and you can put them behind you.

We should all do what you did. God Bless, Memaw

 

[Catholic_farmer]

I came into the Church last year and I go to reconcilliation every month. I still have trouble saying the Act of Contrition without tearing up. I hope a good night’s sleep made you feel better. The priest certainly doesn’t even remember your sins. He probably forgot them before you left. You were forgiven. Accept this gift from God and forgive yourself. Let go of your doubts.

For me, I was so nervous, just like you, when I confessed last year. Then, after I came out of confession, I felt like someone hit a reset button. Everyone is different, though. May I suggest spending time in prayer over the next few days? Let God fill you with His love. What you did took courage and humility. And you did it for the love of God.

If anything is still bugging you, make an appointment to speak to the priest privately. Maybe you need reassurance. I was involved in the war and worried about my culpibility because of the orders I had to follow. Only meeting with a priest could help me understand what I actually needed to confess. If anything is in that gray area still for you, make an appointment sometime after Easter. In the meantime, prepare yourself for the Easter Vigil. You should have no fear even if you are unsure about something. Remember, for something to be a grave sin, you have to KNOW it’s a grave sin. Go to Easter with confidence and be received into the Church. And congratulations! Welcome home!

 

[PJM]

=Catholic farmer;12868176]I came into the Church last year and I go to reconcilliation every month. I still have trouble saying the Act of Contrition without tearing up. I hope a good night’s sleep made you feel better. The priest certainly doesn’t even remember your sins. He probably forgot them before you left. You were forgiven. Accept this gift from God and forgive yourself. Let go of your doubts.

For me, I was so nervous, just like you, when I confessed last year. Then, after I came out of confession, I felt like someone hit a reset button. Everyone is different, though. May I suggest spending time in prayer over the next few days? Let God fill you with His love. What you did took courage and humility. And you did it for the love of God.

If anything is still bugging you, make an appointment to speak to the priest privately. Maybe you need reassurance. I was involved in the war and worried about my culpibility because of the orders I had to follow. Only meeting with a priest could help me understand what I actually needed to confess. If anything is in that gray area still for you, make an appointment sometime after Easter. In the meantime, prepare yourself for the Easter Vigil. You should have no fear even if you are unsure about something. Remember, for something to be a grave sin, you have to KNOW it’s a grave sin. Go to Easter with confidence and be received into the Church. And congratulations! Welcome home!

GREAT post and a wonderful CATHOLIC reply:thumbsup:

THANKS<

Patrick

 

[constantconvert]

I’m so sorry it was so difficult for you! I think you did a great job.

I came into the Church from protestantism too, and the first confession is definitely the hardest, because as others have said, you have to confess a lifetime of sins!

I personally do not like confession. It is humiliating, and I never “feel” God’s forgiveness, but I go frequently. I make sure I go at least once a month, and recently I decided to go every week. Why would I do something that is so uncomfortable?

Because each time you partake of the sacraments you receive special Grace. Grace that will help you to please God, whom I know you love above all things (going from Baptist to Catholic, you would have to love God above all things, because I’m sure you got a LOT of flack from your friends and family over your conversion! ).

I encourage you to hang in there, and make a daily examination of conscience. I keep a notebook and write down my sins so that I can see patterns of sin.

Hopefully you are one of the people who will feel great relief and consolation in participating in the sacrament of Reconciliation as time goes on, but even if you don’t, just imagine all the grace that is being infused into your soul in the confessional. That’s how I get through it!

 

[Memaw]

I’m so sorry it was so difficult for you! I think you did a great job.

I came into the Church from protestantism too, and the first confession is definitely the hardest, because as others have said, you have to confess a lifetime of sins!

I personally do not like confession. It is humiliating, and I never “feel” God’s forgiveness, but I go frequently. I make sure I go at least once a month, and recently I decided to go every week. Why would I do something that is so uncomfortable?

Because each time you partake of the sacraments you receive special Grace. Grace that will help you to please God, whom I know you love above all things (going from Baptist to Catholic, you would have to love God above all things, because I’m sure you got a LOT of flack from your friends and family over your conversion! ).

I encourage you to hang in there, and make a daily examination of conscience. I keep a notebook and write down my sins so that I can see patterns of sin.

Hopefully you are one of the people who will feel great relief and consolation in participating in the sacrament of Reconciliation as time goes on, but even if you don’t, just imagine all the grace that is being infused into your soul in the confessional. That’s how I get through it!

I don’t think Confession was ever meant to be “enjoyable”. (except when your walking out feeling FREE.) But as long as you know the value of the Sacrament and our need for it, a little humility goes a looong way.
A little true story,
While setting in the entry of a hospital waiting for my ride, awhile back, a lady came up and set in a chair next to me. She started talking and before long I knew all about her adultery, husband divorced her, took the kids too. . Her remarriage and their problems (but not the guy she committed adultery with, that broke up her marriage.) and her kids not wanting to see her or let her see the grandson. She put a lot in just a few minutes. When she left I was rather stunned. She didn’t hesitate to tell me all her problems but I bet if someone suggested she ’ go to Confession’ she would have thought that strange. And after all that ‘confessing’ I couldn’t even give her absolution !! God knows just what we need, even if we don’t exactly “like” it. Good for the soul. God Bless, Memaw