First confesson fears

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confessed2014

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A Catholic friend helped me setup an account with Catholic Answers.

I will be Catholic this Easter, but first I have to go to confession. One of the biggest reasons I wanted to become Catholic is the weight of my sins. Under my old Protestant religion, I was slipping closer and closer to hell and deeper into sin.

For most of my life, my sin was prob. run of the mill, a little heavy on the lust side, but run of the mill. Then after a series of financial and body trauma, I committed 4 or 5 mortal sins, that if I confessed to the authorities would get me probation and or a few years behind bars. Hard to say.

Right after the last mortal sin, I thought it best to just hang myself immediately following the sin, so I could just send myself straight to hell were I felt I belonged, without the chance of salvation, because I don’t deserve it. I was going to do it at once. I am not sure what changed my mind, but obviously, I did not add suicide as my final sin.

It was then I decided to become Catholic. I removed myself from the situation so I would sin no more or not be tempted to do the same sin, though I no longer wanted to, I wanted to hedge my bets so to speak.

Things got better as I attended mass, read the Bible, prayed the Rosary and so on. Prayers have been answered, and I have a good relationship with my priest.

However… I am scared to death about confessing these sins! I would go out of town and do it, but I have to be catholic to do that, and then there is first communion, which I can’t take and then go confess later, as I will still be in a state of mortal sin.

What will my priest think of me? He will hate me. I am just full of anxiety about this.
Please pray for me! Please pray that my priest will understand… and not hate me, throw me out of the church… will he do that?

I have begged the Lord, God, and Mary to forgive my sins during prayer.
Thanks you.
 
Eternal God , in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhastible ,
look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us ,
that in difficult moments we might not despair
nor become despondent , but with great confidence ,
submit ourselves to Your Holy Will ,
which is love and mercy itself . Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
He certainly won’t hate you. If anything, he will admire your courage in confessing these sins. You can surely trust that the seal will be observed, and moreover, that Father, hearing as many confessions as he has, will likely even forget which sins you confessed soon enough.

God bless you, and welcome home.
 
The priest will not hate you or throw you out of the Church. When you confess, you feel like the priest can only see and hear your sins and sinful self…but what the priest actually sees and hears is your humility and your contrite self.

I chose Blessed Angela of Foligno as my confirmation saint, for this very reason. After living a sordid life, she returned to the Church, but was so mortified over the nature of her sins that she failed to confess all of them…and subsequently went back a second time and made a full, good confession. I could totally relate to her, so begged her to pray for me and then chose her as my conformation saint.

Remember- JESUS is there, working through the priest, accepting your pain and humility and shame as an offering of love- which is what a good confession really is- an offering of humble love and remorse to our Savior.
 
confessed2014 said:
A Catholic friend helped me setup an account with Catholic Answers.

I will be Catholic this Easter, but first I have to go to confession. One of the biggest reasons I wanted to become Catholic is the weight of my sins. Under my old Protestant religion, I was slipping closer and closer to hell and deeper into sin.

For most of my life, my sin was prob. run of the mill, a little heavy on the lust side, but run of the mill. Then after a series of financial and body trauma, I committed 4 or 5 mortal sins, that if I confessed to the authorities would get me probation and or a few years behind bars. Hard to say.

Right after the last mortal sin, I thought it best to just hang myself immediately following the sin, so I could just send myself straight to hell were I felt I belonged, without the chance of salvation, because I don’t deserve it. I was going to do it at once. I am not sure what changed my mind, but obviously, I did not add suicide as my final sin.

It was then I decided to become Catholic. I removed myself from the situation so I would sin no more or not be tempted to do the same sin, though I no longer wanted to, I wanted to hedge my bets so to speak.

Things got better as I attended mass, read the Bible, prayed the Rosary and so on. Prayers have been answered, and I have a good relationship with my priest.

However… I am scared to death about confessing these sins! I would go out of town and do it, but I have to be catholic to do that, and then there is first communion, which I can’t take and then go confess later, as I will still be in a state of mortal sin.

What will my priest think of me? He will hate me. I am just full of anxiety about this.
Please pray for me! Please pray that my priest will understand… and not hate me, throw me out of the church… will he do that?

I have begged the Lord, God, and Mary to forgive my sins during prayer.
Thanks you.
Click to expand...
I have to ask, is your concern that the Priest will require you to turn yourself in?
I don’t think that is asked of a Penitent unless it is pre-meditated murder.
I will leave this to others as my own worries about confession are not a good example for you.

May God bless you in your journey.
 
FreciaMarie said:
I chose Blessed Angela of Foligno as my confirmation saint, for this very reason. After living a sordid life, she returned to the Church, but was so mortified over the nature of her sins that she failed to confess all of them…and subsequently went back a second time and made a full, good confession. I could totally relate to her, so begged her to pray for me and then chose her as my conformation saint.
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I had not heard of her.
She made an unworthy confession and is on the road to Sainthood?
I will be looking her up 😃

God bless.
 
FreciaMarie said:
The priest will not hate you or throw you out of the Church. When you confess, you feel like the priest can only see and hear your sins and sinful self…but what the priest actually sees and hears is your humility and your contrite self.

I chose Blessed Angela of Foligno as my confirmation saint, for this very reason. After living a sordid life, she returned to the Church, but was so mortified over the nature of her sins that she failed to confess all of them…and subsequently went back a second time and made a full, good confession. I could totally relate to her, so begged her to pray for me and then chose her as my conformation saint.

Remember- JESUS is there, working through the priest, accepting your pain and humility and shame as an offering of love- which is what a good confession really is- an offering of humble love and remorse to our Savior.
Click to expand...
I have never heard of Blessed Angela of Foligno. Thank you for bringing her to my attention. I have just bought a book about her on my kindle:thumbsup:
 
Hello there,

Never, ever, ever fear to speak your heart in confession. Nobody is there to judge you and I promise you; many, many times the priest is given the grace of forgetfulness so that he will not recollect what has happened.

I fell away from my faith for over a decade; I had a child, lived with my boyfriend, split from him and; while I still ‘talked’ to God; I was living a wilful, selfish and pointless life.

I can’t imagine you have anything more shameful and mortifying to confess than I had; I was so afraid that I was nauseous before I entered the confessional. However; the courage came to me and I made a full confession. When I was absolved; I cried my eyes out!

Pray for courage. Examine your conscience; you can find good examinations online. Make a list if you’re making a first confession and don’t worry; you are speaking to Our Lord, who will forgive you. You are so close to the most beautiful grace you can imagine; do not falter! Gather your courage and make the best confession that you have it in your power to make; you’ll never look back afterwards, I promise.

Praying for you,

Jenny
 
SoulSolace said:
I have to ask, is your concern that the Priest will require you to turn yourself in?
I don’t think that is asked of a Penitent unless it is pre-meditated murder.
I will leave this to others as my own worries about confession are not a good example for you.

May God bless you in your journey.
Click to expand...
Thank goodness no, it isn’t murder, burglary, robbery, or violent assault of any kind. It is a grave sin though. I don’t know if my medical trauma messed up my head, or that and a combination of that and stress, or what. I will tell you that I hope it was caused by something like that. It would be nice to have an excuse, but I cannot assume that it was. I think I can mention those issues, but in the end, I really don’t know why I did it, so I have to confess it with no excuses or blame, except maybe allowing the devil to drag me to hell. The last time was the last time though, I CAN tell you that. I will never repeat that sin, ever again. I feel like I should be bull whipped.

Thank you all so much for your responses.
 
mrsjennymulhall said:
Hello there,

Never, ever, ever fear to speak your heart in confession. Nobody is there to judge you and I promise you; many, many times the priest is given the grace of forgetfulness so that he will not recollect what has happened.

I fell away from my faith for over a decade; I had a child, lived with my boyfriend, split from him and; while I still ‘talked’ to God; I was living a wilful, selfish and pointless life.

I can’t imagine you have anything more shameful and mortifying to confess than I had; I was so afraid that I was nauseous before I entered the confessional. However; the courage came to me and I made a full confession. When I was absolved; I cried my eyes out!

Pray for courage. Examine your conscience; you can find good examinations online. Make a list if you’re making a first confession and don’t worry; you are speaking to Our Lord, who will forgive you. You are so close to the most beautiful grace you can imagine; do not falter! Gather your courage and make the best confession that you have it in your power to make; you’ll never look back afterwards, I promise.

Praying for you,

Jenny
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Thank you so much Jenny.
 
Any good and holy priest would be NOT be shocked, angry, or disappointed in whatever you confess, but he would be joyful that you are being freed from your sins. Once you have made your first confession, you will see what a wonderful, liberating experience that it is. You will be in a state of grace, right with God.
 
Oh, please allow me to put your mind at ease! The Sacrament of Reconciliation is one of the best things about the Catholic Church. I was received into the Church last year so was in the same spot you are, anticipating Reconciliation. To say I was a nervous wreck is the understatement of the century because I had 52 years of sins to confess, some pretty egregious, but the priest was so kind. Let me tell you, when that garbage starts coming out you can NOT stop it, it just spews out of you. And when the priest absolves you there is nothing like it. That garbage is gone. Erased. It’s gone as far away as the east is from the west. You will be washed as white as snow. I have become a HUGE fan of Reconciliation.

God bless you on your journey HOME.
 
Welcome to the Church and Catholic Answers!

I am so glad you are still here, that you didn’t take your life.

God can actually make the greatest good come even out of greatest evil. Recall that St. Paul used to, himself, be a huge persecutor of Christians. He went from Paul the persecutor to Paul, the persecuted!

Later, he ended up undergoing stoning, being left for dead. I think he was shipwrecked was it 3 times? He was finally martyred. He was responsible in large part for helping bring the word to the gentiles.

Have you ever heard of St. Cyprian (and St. Justina)? He used to be one of the Devil’s right hand men. He later turned from this path of sin and became a saint, in his own right.

What will the priest think? Well, it varies, surely, from priest to priest. However, if he judges you, when you are trying to change you life around, he would not be in the right profession. No, a priest is to absolve you, not to throw you out or anything like that.

People say that priests, unless you get a new one, have generally heard it all, that there’s normally little you can say that would shock them.

I once heard a priest on a Catholic radio program who talked about people who hadn’t been to confession, say, in 30 years. He said those were actually his favorite cases. He called them “the big fish”! He liked it when people who really needed the sacrament most came.

Archbishop Fulton used to say hearing nun’s confessions was like being stoned to death, using popcorn!

You’re new to the faith, but there is also St. Faustina who was with the Divine Mercy. I think she once doubted Christ’s mercy, and Christ responded that her doubt in his mercy was actually much more painful than her original sin!

Christ told Faustina to tell people that the greatest sinners have the greatest right to his mercy. He also said that pride was one of the major obstacles in people coming to him.

I am very glad you have worked so hard to turn your life around. I think the priest would see that, but what’s important in the end isn’t what even that priest thinks but what God thinks. I would think God would have to be pleased at your efforts.

I would like to commend you and encourage you to do it however you feel most comfortable. If possible, maybe you can find a way to confess, anonymously, behind a screen. It might be easier for you to be able to speak frankly.

Congratulations on turning your life around. It’s no easy thing to do.

If it’d be easier, you could also go to a different city. That’s the other way.

The main thing is to go. Good luck in your first confession, and God bless. 😉 👍
 
When you go to confession and hear the healing words of absolution remember those sins are forgiven. Sometimes the harder part for me is forgiving myself.

Welcome to the forums; you have received excellent responses and I can’t add to that.

Peace in Christ,

Mary.
 
confessed2014 said:
Thank goodness no, it isn’t murder, burglary, robbery, or violent assault of any kind. It is a grave sin though. I don’t know if my medical trauma messed up my head, or that and a combination of that and stress, or what. I will tell you that I hope it was caused by something like that. It would be nice to have an excuse, but I cannot assume that it was. I think I can mention those issues, but in the end, I really don’t know why I did it, so I have to confess it with no excuses or blame, except maybe allowing the devil to drag me to hell. The last time was the last time though, I CAN tell you that. I will never repeat that sin, ever again. I feel like I should be bull whipped.

Thank you all so much for your responses.
Click to expand...
I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be nosey, just giving information.
I have read the other posts here, and have to agree, Reconciliation is about healing, not condemnation.
When you confess your sins and are absolved of them, they are forgotten. Not just by the Priest you confess to, but also by God.
You are a new person in Christ.

You have been a blessing coming here with your question, as it has helped others already.
May God, and The Holy Spirit continue to bless you and guide you.
And thank you for being here. 🙂
 
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