First date...should the man or woman do the asking?

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I think in a healthy world the guy should ask the girl.

However, I think there are now a number of men of courting age who have grown up with feminist mothers. These boys witnessed their moms rejecting their dads. Rejection can then be enormously painful to these young men. So they are handicapped.

Nothing wrong with girls dropping strong hints. This will help men overcome their fear of rejection.

I fear rejection. However, I had a few girls ask me out in high school and didn’t like being put into a position to say “no”.

I wonder though if this “guy does the asking” mentality can be very damaging if it is carried into the marriage bed.
 
Twenty some years ago, unless a female had wings and was made of shiny aluminium, I didn’t notice much.

Fortunately for me, my wife figured out some way of asking me out and made it look like it was all my idea.

Actually, I asked her out first. Had she not gotten my attention somehow, I probably wouldn’t have ever noticed her, perhaps missing the greatest thing that has ever happened to me…her. She’s just a plain, ordinary girl, who is really quite extraordinary. She grabbed my attention, and kept it. I still haven’t quite figured out how she did it.

I mentioned her qualities on another thread.
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=731758#post731758

So, in answer to the question, ‘Should the man or woman do the asking?’, I’m gonna say, the man should, BUT the woman can somehow cause a reluctant, or in my case, clueless man to ask. Just don’t ask me how the female does that. I think it’s some kind of secret that’s been passed down.
 
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sparkle:
I also believe women should never call men!
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Might I ask why? Seems a little one-sided if you ask me.

Eamon
 
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sparkle:
Just IMO, I think THE MAN!!! Men need to be the conquerors or everything comes too easy for them these days! I also believe women should never call men! And I also believe women today should not be so easy to catch. There really IS something to being slightly mysterious and “hard to get”. Grandmothers are right!!!

Unless the man has to chase hard after a woman, she’s not worth the catch!!! LOL
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I completely agree with this. I would also not call a man first. Let them make the initiative.

As for those shy men…balderdash! If a man is too shy to ask a woman out, then he is not that interested. What kind of husband will he make if the woman needs to make all the initiative for him?
A man needs to display courage and be head of the household.

Wait till he asks. If he does not ask, then he was NOT all that interested to begin with - and it was not meant to be at that time. If he does ( especially if he is a bit shy) then you know he is completely interested in you initially.

Let the man be the man.
 
I have only been on a handful of dates, my whole life. I wish some woman would ask me, cause I’m too shy. :o

LET THE WOMEN ASK! :bounce:
 
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DJJG:
I have only been on a handful of dates, my whole life. I wish some woman would ask me, cause I’m too shy. :o

LET THE WOMEN ASK! :bounce:
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When you meet the right woman, you’ll have plenty of bravery to ask. I know from personal experience.

Eamon
 
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turboEDvo:
When you meet the right woman, you’ll have plenty of bravery to ask. I know from personal experience.

Eamon
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Completely agree! Be comfortable knowing the worst she could say is No!..I am a traditionalist… the man does the asking
 
In my experience, dates just “happen” - you know the person from being around groups together, so, it is was more of a natural thing. No formal stranger coming up and saying “will you go out with me” - that would be akward. And after 15 years of marriage, it worked out just fine!
 
I asked me husband on our first date, he was “interested” but had no idea that I was interested, and I felt like “I’m pretty sure this guy is interested in me, so why no asking” so when I asked him out he was thrilled, or so he says 😃 The rest, well, its history, 13 years history 👍
 
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kage_ar:
In my experience, dates just “happen” - you know the person from being around groups together, so, it is was more of a natural thing. No formal stranger coming up and saying “will you go out with me” - that would be akward. And after 15 years of marriage, it worked out just fine!
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okay… I guess my first date was really out of “luck” or “chance” more like… after Mass… by boyfriend asked if we could go to the local park to talk after school one Friday… interesting…
 
Black Jaque:
I think in a healthy world the guy should ask the girl.

However, I think there are now a number of men of courting age who have grown up with feminist mothers. These boys witnessed their moms rejecting their dads. Rejection can then be enormously painful to these young men. So they are handicapped…
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Are you one of these?? In a healthy world, it shouldn’t matter WHO does the asking.
~ Kathy ~
 
Wow, reading this thread has made so angry I could scream. :mad:

Inappropriate text removed

To the ladies who have no problem with asking first, none of what I said applies to you. Bless you all. 👍
 
If you are being tongue in cheek then you need to put little smileys in your posts. IF you are being serious about wishing people with a different opinion then yours remain dateless then…:eek:
 
*************** I don’t get it? Do you mean a really unchristain dirty word? I hope not, what type of person posts at a christain website with such anger? If you don’t like what your reading, maybe, don’t read, don’t post, etc. but I really hope your not implying a filthy word in the ( — ), that is certainly not a christian attitude, I certainly hope we have misunderstood you.

Chirsts Peace To You :gopray2:
 
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BillyHW:
Wow, reading this thread has made so angry I could scream. :mad:

Inappropriate text removed

To the ladies who have no problem with asking first, none of what I said applies to you. Bless you all. 👍
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To the moderators, thank you, this is much better and easier to understand 👍 :clapping:
 
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deb1:
If you are being tongue in cheek then you need to put little smileys in your posts. IF you are being serious about wishing people with a different opinion then yours remain dateless then…:eek:
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GOOD POINT! :yup: Make your own choices…
 
Gosh, I should have known better than to post on a thread full of …(deleted ad hominum)
 
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BillyHW:
Gosh, I should have known better than to post on a thread full of… (deleted ad hominum).
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I honestly have nothing wrong with your opinion. Just your tone while posting rubbed people the wrong way. If it weren’t so caustic, you probably would have gotten a better response. It is completely legitimate to disagree with anyone on the board, but civility would be appreciated. That’s all. 🙂

Eamon
 
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