First Holy Communion /non-practicing parent

[m_crane]

I need some serious advise. My niece, a very immature 10 year old has it in her head that she would like to make her First Holy Communion.

The problem is that her mother is non-practicing and anti-catholic. It is her grandmother who is influencing her. The grandmother plans to ask an 11 year old niece to take her to CCD because she is physically unable to herself. My niece will have no opputunity to practice the Faith because her mother won’t take her to mass, grandma can’t and the child lives too far from Church to take herself.

I have spoken many times to my niece about different aspects of the Faith, and she has told me many things. First that she hates to go the Mass because it is boring but that she wants to receive Holy Communion because everyone else does and because she wants to know what it tastes like.

I have tried to explain things about going to Mass, Confession, sin, Holy Communion but she has little interest in learning. To her credit,she says she is a Catholic and that she loves Jesus.

The priest in the parish that grandma has in mind is very overworked and I am afraid would not be very happy to hear all our family disfunction, especially my protest because he thinks grandmom is a saint.

Grandmom has pushed 4 of her grandchildren to make their sacraments. She even secretly baptized one without the parent’s consent(the child was later baptized by a priest).
All of the 4 grandchildren are now non-pacticing. They are living very unholy and unhealthy lives.

I am the Godmother to 2 of them and this 10 year old is also my Godchild. My heart is breaking and I am unable to sleep when I see the distruction. Misguided attempts to make them Catholic before they are mature enough have only made things worse.

They have tried to be Catholic (with no backing) but they lacked the maturity and understanding to stand up to the evil in their lives. They have tried Catholicism, thinking that it would solve all their problems and found it no help.They now believe that their parent’s were right. They think it is a silly fantasy for weak fools. In their words"nothing changed"

Please,Help me to save this niece from the same fate.

 

[RyanK]

I need some serious advise. My niece, a very immature 10 year old has it in her head that she would like to make her First Holy Communion.

The problem is that her mother is non-practicing and anti-catholic. It is her grandmother who is influencing her. The grandmother plans to ask an 11 year old niece to take her to CCD because she is physically unable to herself. My niece will have no opputunity to practice the Faith because her mother won’t take her to mass, grandma can’t and the child lives too far from Church to take herself.

I have spoken many times to my niece about different aspects of the Faith, and she has told me many things. First that she hates to go the Mass because it is boring but that she wants to receive Holy Communion because everyone else does and because she wants to know what it tastes like.

I have tried to explain things about going to Mass, Confession, sin, Holy Communion but she has little interest in learning. To her credit,she says she is a Catholic and that she loves Jesus.

The priest in the parish that grandma has in mind is very overworked and I am afraid would not be very happy to hear all our family disfunction, especially my protest because he thinks grandmom is a saint.

Grandmom has pushed 4 of her grandchildren to make their sacraments. She even secretly baptized one without the parent’s consent(the child was later baptized by a priest).
All of the 4 grandchildren are now non-pacticing. They are living very unholy and unhealthy lives.

I am the Godmother to 2 of them and this 10 year old is also my Godchild. My heart is breaking and I am unable to sleep when I see the distruction. Misguided attempts to make them Catholic before they are mature enough have only made things worse.

They have tried to be Catholic (with no backing) but they lacked the maturity and understanding to stand up to the evil in their lives. They have tried Catholicism, thinking that it would solve all their problems and found it no help.They now believe that their parent’s were right. They think it is a silly fantasy for weak fools. In their words"nothing changed"

Please,Help me to save this niece from the same fate.

I don’t know if I can help but my best suggestion is to simply pray for all of them, especially offer up rosaries for their conversion. I myself converted into the catholic faith at 18 and noone in my family is catholic, my parents aren’t even religious at all. So there’s plenty of hope for them. The best you can do is be an example, pray, and let God do the rest. I hope all works out for the best and God Bless!

 

[ganonscrub]

It sounds a lot like your niece really has no interest in religion, just that she wants to hop on the flesh-eating bandwagon with the rest of the congregation when she is at church. Maybe you should wait until she is older to introduce her more seriously into the church, but it sounds a lot like her mother has already extracted the superstition from her.

Bear in mind that while you may have a point of view that demands faith be central to this child’s life, her mother is much more important in her and is ultimately the one who knows what is best for your niece. You need to respect the ways she is being raised by her mother and come to the realization that it isn’t inherently harmful to keep your niece from practicing her faith. It is most likely in her best interest.

 

[m_crane]

Bear in mind that while you may have a point of view that demands faith be central to this child’s life, her mother is much more important in her and is ultimately the one who knows what is best for your niece. You need to respect the ways she is being raised by her mother and come to the realization that it isn’t inherently harmful to keep your niece from practicing her faith. It is most likely in her best interest.

Though, I don’t agree that her mother is not harming her spiritually. I do agree that I should not come between the child and her mother. If you read my post again, I am not the one pushing the child to receive her sacraments- her grandmother is. I am her Godmother and my instincts tell me that this will do more harm than good. At this point I am encouraging the child to wait until she is a least a little older(because her mother is an atheist) but the grandmother is going against my advice an encourging the child to receive now.

 

[KCT]

Generally, in order to be prepared for 1st Communion, one must be enrolled in Religious Ed classes. Where I am, enrollment means the parent signs the forms (not the grandparent, unless the grandparent has legal custody).

Sounds like a non issue, unless the parish in question allows grandparents to enroll children w/o parental permission.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Yes, here, the child has to have been in CCE for at least a year, possibly 2, and take the Eucharist classes with a parent. I hope the parish does not make allowances for your niece. You are right that she is not aware enough nor is she able to truly practice the faith.

 

[cmscms]

All you can do is make sure mom knows what grandma is doing. If mom does not put a stop to it, then it is out of your hands

CM