First Mass in US- Woah!

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Today was the first time attending Mass in the US. All previous Mass experiences were in Italy. I am just now learning and starting the conversion process. So, I went to Mass at my local parish. I suppose that I should have done a bit of research, but I did not know this was an option for a Mass. I felt like I was at a hippie concert in the park. And most people there seemed to behave and dress as though they were also. I felt completely out of place. Beyond the fact that I had my derriere and bosom covered and I did not come and go as I pleased, it was very hard to concentrate with guitar music. The musicians and singers were talented, yes, but it did not feel reverent to me.

Before everyone tells me I am judgemental, etc, please understand that I believe everyone gets to worship however they feel suits them and they feel please God. It is just not what I expected or was looking for…
There is only Latin Mass per month at my local parish (and not another one nearby). I think that might be what I am looking for.
Any advice, please.
Is this how most - or all- Mass is celebrated in the US?
 
No, it varies greatly among parishes. My parish is modern and there are no Latin Masses at all. Another nearby parish (I live between the 2) is much more formal and closer to the old order Masses, and much more dressy.

The Mass I attend is the MOST casual of all, it’s the vigil Mass on Sat. evening. The Sunday Masses are more formal, with the 11 am including the formal choir with robes and organ. So even within each church there can be different populations at each Mass.

But there are parts of the Mass that are troubling to people who like the old order. Holding hands during the Our Father, the Sign of Peace, and all the songs do bother some people. In the vigil Mass we just have one cantor and a pianist, but sometimes even that music is too loud/jarring/intrusive for me.

Is there a weekday Mass you could try? Since there is usually no music at all on weekdays, it can be a comfort to us old-school Catholics.
 
I think you will find the Mass to be celebrated as diversely as those who attend the particular parish. In the city where I live, there are three parishes, and each is totally different in ‘flavor’ when it comes to music and what they would consider as ‘acceptable’. Note that I don’t believe a single one of them for a moment commits liturgical abuse - it’s just a difference in cultural influence.
 
OP—now you see what all of us suffer with through all this hand-holding during the Our Father, Eucharistic ministers all handling the Host and trying to “bless” people, strumming guitars, sloppy liturgical practices, banal sermons, skipping parts of the Mass, people chewing gum, people dressed sloppy, a lack of enthusiasm, etc.

This isn’t the case everywhere but boy is it common…the years I spent in the Anglican Church, shoot, the liturgy there seemed more Catholic than the Catholics. As a revert I find it very hard to concentrate and get through the Mass myself. I feel your pain!😦
 
I suppose that I thought that Catholic Mass was Catholic Mass. I did see the Latin Mass on the parish calendar online, but I assumed (that’s where I get into trouble!) that the others would only be different in that they did not use Latin.

I did not feel any of the awesomeness (don’t know any other way to put it) that I felt at the Latin Masses. My problem to resolve, I guess…
 
ConvertHopeful said:
I suppose that I thought that Catholic Mass was Catholic Mass. I did see the Latin Mass on the parish calendar online, but I assumed (that’s where I get into trouble!) that the others would only be different in that they did not use Latin.

I did not feel any of the awesomeness (don’t know any other way to put it) that I felt at the Latin Masses. My problem to resolve, I guess…
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I presume you had the Latin Mass (either OF or EF) in Italy? If that’s what you’re more comfortable with and you have one near you, then there shouldn’t be any problem. In theory, vernacular Masses should feel as “awesome” but unfortunately that’s not always the case.
 
ConvertHopeful said:
I suppose that I thought that Catholic Mass was Catholic Mass. I did see the Latin Mass on the parish calendar online, but I assumed (that’s where I get into trouble!) that the others would only be different in that they did not use Latin.

I did not feel any of the awesomeness (don’t know any other way to put it) that I felt at the Latin Masses. My problem to resolve, I guess…
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Don’t give up.

Guitars: A classical guitarist playing classic music can sound more reverent than an organist who plays each piece as though s/he were playing at the baseball stadium. So if there are lots of what brotherhrolf used to refer to ‘pickin’ and agrinning’, get involved! Join the choir, bring some fresh new (old) ideas in. (Slowly, tactfully). Very often once people start to get used to singing and hearing chant, they love it and want more. At the least, you’ll have tried to help. But unless the choir and director hear ‘another view’, they will assume that the people ‘like’ what they’re doing, and won’t bother to try something different.

Hand-holding. For some an annoyance, for others the ‘highlight’ of Mass. For either extreme I suggest an experiment: Spend at least the next 10 Sundays in a row doing the ‘opposite’ of your preference.

One of two things will happen. Either in doing it ‘habitually’ one becomes less ‘irritated’ and more understanding of the other person’s point of view. . .

OR
one becomes MORE irritated. In that case, this ‘action’ has become ‘more’ than the Mass to you. So go back to your preference BUT make it a top priority on your prayer list to focus less on your ‘personal irritation’ and more on ‘paying attention to Christ at Mass.’ Do THIS for 10 Sundays in a row. And then keep doing it.

Remember that even though St. StickInTheMud Church may have been doing the same guitar hymns and waving the same felt banners every year since 1967, THIS just MIGHT be the year (with your help) that the people will learn to chant the Gloria. . .or reinstitute May Crowning of the Virgin. . .or start Perpetual Adoration. . .

Don’t give up.
 
You are right- make a suggestion. Not sure that someone who is just starting the conversion journey should go in with change recs.

Coming from A Southern Baptist upbringing, when someone in the church sports a different attitude to the status-quo (especially to the preacher’s opinion), then that person either leaves the church (and everybody finds out about it) or the church splits. Best to stay quiet.

Is the Mass so casual/folksie b/c of the priest’s preference or b/c church members requested it?
 
ConvertHopeful said:
Is the Mass so casual/folksie b/c of the priest’s preference or b/c church members requested it?
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I would say the latter as priests are usually moved around from parish to parish while church members stay put for the most part.
 
This morning we had a tambourine at the procession. That’s the first time I’ve heard one used in our church.😦
 
If you’re in Nashville, check to see if there’s a Sunday Mass open to the public at the convent of the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecelia. I’m pretty sure you’d find that awesomeness you’re looking for.
 
To the OP–much of your comments include the phrase “I feel.”

Remember that the Mass is not about how you feel.

If the rubrics are followed, the Mass is correct, whether you “feel” reverent or not.

The rubrics provide for a lot of variation in music in the U.S. There is no rule that music must be provided only by a pipe organ, or that the music is only traditional/classical.

I personally feel more reverent with contemporary or rock music (Christian) in the Mass rather than the classical music that to me sounds more suitable for a concert hall. But that doesn’t matter–if the classical music falls within the rubrics, it’s OK for Mass and my feelings don’t matter.

I’m not saying that your feelings are not valid. IMO, you have two options:
  1. Find another parish where the Mass is celebrated in a way that you “feel” is more reverent. Hopefully you have that option if you live in a city with several parishes. There’s nothing wrong with attending a Mass that nourishes you emotionally as well as spiritually.
  2. Learn to suppress your feelings and recognize intellectually that the Mass is fine even if the music and other trappings do not line up with your feelings about reverence. This is what I do, BTW–if I end up in a Mass that doesn’t make me “feel” reverent, I appeal to my brain and tell myself, “This is a legitimate Catholic Mass and I am grateful to be here to receive Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.”
I hope this advice is helpful.
 
I estimate less than a third of the US masses are as it is described.

First check this list

web2.airmail.net/carlsch/MaterDei/churches.htm

for your state, and try to find a Church where also Latin Mass is offered. Usually you can go quite safely to new rite mass too on that places.

If there is no such place near to your domicile, shop for masses. Rural and inner city masses usually are significantly more reverent. Also even in the same church usually the early morning masses are reverent, hippies are night owls.
 
laszlo said:
Rural and inner city masses usually are significantly more reverent. Also even in the same church usually the early morning masses are reverent, hippies are night owls.
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These statements are both generalizations, and may or may not be true everywhere.

A few months ago there was a thread on these forums about the Sat. Vigil Masses. Many of us shared that one of the reasons we attend Vigil Mass is that it is much quieter and more reverent then the Sunday morning Masses.

As for rural Masses being more reverent–one of the liveliest Masses I’ve attended is at one of the small farming towns in our diocese! It’s liturgically correct and very reverent, but noisy. Before and after the Mass, all the folks chat–after all, this is a small farming town and they all know and love each other! The architecture of the older church makes it difficult for the people to chat in the lobby, which is very tiny, or outside, because the front of the church is a long staircase leading right out to a highway through town (not good for older folks or parents holding young children). So people tend to chat in the church. There is a separate chapel off to the side (up front) in the Church where Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament is in repose, and that’s where people go who want to pray in peace and quiet.

It just depends on where you live. No generalizations can be made.
 
gurneyhalleck1 said:
OP—now you see what all of us suffer with through all this hand-holding during the Our Father, Eucharistic ministers all handling the Host and trying to “bless” people, strumming guitars, sloppy liturgical practices, banal sermons, skipping parts of the Mass, people chewing gum, people dressed sloppy, a lack of enthusiasm, etc.

This isn’t the case everywhere but boy is it common…the years I spent in the Anglican Church, shoot, the liturgy there seemed more Catholic than the Catholics. As a revert I find it very hard to concentrate and get through the Mass myself. I feel your pain!😦
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I recently attended an Anglican Catholic Church and I can totally relate. They seem to use the old latin mass but it is said in old english. They actually kneel at the communion rail and the priest (and a deacon) the only one distributing communion of both kinds. I loved it. 👍
 
this hand-holding during the Our Father, Eucharistic ministers all handling the Host and trying to “bless” people, strumming guitars, sloppy liturgical practices, banal sermons, skipping parts of the Mass, people chewing gum, people dressed sloppy, a lack of enthusiasm, etc.

What does “handling the host mean”? If I am a EMHC which I am, how do you propose I distribute ‘the host’? I perform the funtion exactly as described in the Girm and by my pastor. “The Body of Christ” you say “Amen” What is the problem? How about you pray for more priests or urge your own son’s to become one. Then if we have 10 Priests which is what a Parish as large as the one I attend would need. Well, then we would not need any EMHC. But until that happens. We perform a service that I for one am honored to help with. It is not showboating, or done in a non venerable way.
It seems as though so many of you act as though if you are an EMHC we are unworthy to help. Is that what I am hearing you say? You would never want to drink of the precious Blood again, because with one Priest he would be distributing the Body. Oh, and are you alright with Mass lasting an additional half hour? Because that is about how long it would take for one Priest to ensure everyone had Communion.
If I am wrong help me understand. These generalizations are bothersome to me. We do not give blessings. We are instructed we can say, “God be with you” that we are not supposed or allowed to give a blessing. But, God be with you is not a blessing. As the Priest will say, “God bless you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit”.
All of us who do volunteer to help and try to serve others in the Church and our Lord are doing it, to help. And so many of these posts about EMHC make me feel as though… I am glad I do it for my love of God and his Son. Because so many obviously don’t appreciate it. No wonder we lose people to other faiths. Because they never feel welcome due to judgements such as this.
I’ll pray that God will soften your heart
 
I agree with you, Jerry. I am an EMHC. I didn’t volunteer, I agreed to be one when I was asked, trusting that the priest knew what he was doing and what the needs of the parish were.

True, I feel honoured when I go on to the sactuary when my turn on the rota comes up, and the times I have taken Mass to the housebound will live with me forever.
Conversely, when it is my week off, I feel relieved that I can just concentrate on my own prayers and thanksgiving, without having to be looking to see if I’ll need to go right to the back of the church to distribute, because that was as far as someone could walk, or to observe the body-language of the two or three COTT people in my line, one of whom used to clamp his teeth down on the Host so I had to be pretty nimble to get my fingers out of the way, and another of whom just put the tip of their tongue out so it was difficult to get the Host just right, or avoiding the saliva of another one.

Glory-seeking doesn’t come into it.
 
You may have wandered into the Life Teen mass, a mass for younger people with more modern music. At my Church, that mass is at 5 on Sunday evenings. I would just try a different time.
 
You are always welcome to celebrate the Divine Liturgy in the Eastern Rite Catholic churches if you continue to have struggles.
We have a number of RC families who have come over because they found it more prayerful than the RC churches available to them. Guitars and tamborines don’t suit everyone.
 
If you parish offers a few masses a day on Sunday, you might want to try the earliest one. My husband and I call it the “older people’s mass”, some refer to it as a “low mass”. Now I will warn you, depending on the parish, sometimes at the early morning mass you are lucky to have music beyond a few people mumbling 👍 well, that was our old parish anyway.

Prayers for you!!
 
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