First night of marriage

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Alli0913

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So, I am getting married on December 15th and I have a question about NFP and the first day we are married. We are definitely avoiding getting pregnant for the first couple months of our marriage and with that in mind there is the concern that in the first days of our marriage we will not be able to engage in the marriage act. Is this just a normal thing in the practice of NFP and Catholicism, that we wouldn’t be able to consummate our marriage on the first night due to avoiding preganancy if I am at a fertile point in my cycle?
 
This is such a delicate question, you really should discuss this with your priest.

Congratulations on the wedding
 
Yeah, I would think it would be fine to abstain from sex if you’re ovulating on your wedding night. Your marriage is still perfectly valid. The only problem would be if you got married with the intention of never having sex. Waiting a few days is fine.
 
BoomBoomMancini said:
Yeah, I would think it would be fine to abstain from sex if you’re ovulating on your wedding night. Your marriage is still perfectly valid. The only problem would be if you got married with the intention of never having sex. Waiting a few days is fine.
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This. Many , many couples have to abstain - we did ourselves.

However, don’t go thinking you will ovulate like clockwork from now until the wedding. You will most likely find that your pattern is knocked haywire with all the emotional stress. It may even be that you are not at that point in your cycle on your wedding night when it comes to it, anyway…
 
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Thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut 🙂 it’s a little strange and seems challenging to be able to go through that first night pr days of marriage without being able to engage in the marriage act but it makes sense that in avoidaing a pregnancy there is simply no other option.
 
I just got married this past Dec 16th!
Me and my wife were on the same boat. We weren’t sure if we wanted to get pregnant or not. We ended up praying for God’s will knowing that we were not fully married until we consummated our marriage.

You need to consummate your marriage, otherwise you are not fully married until you do.

We did ask for Gods will. That ended up being the night of conception and now our our little nugget is 2 months old.

The idea is to let go if control on your wedding night and let God do what he wants. I’m not saying you will conceive because I’m not God. But we don’t regret it one bit. We rent a small apartment and don’t have a ton of funds but are making it work. I still love my wife and she loves me and we are the happiest we have ever been.
 
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We discussed it with our priest and we DO NOT regret that.
 
Advice about consummating a marriage is best left to the Priest in charge of their soul, IMHO.

This is a delicate question best left between a couple and their priest. He can allay any fears.

Especially in the time leading up to the wedding being so close. Emotions run riot.

Congratulations misereremei25.
 
MiserereMei25 said:
You need to consummate your marriage, otherwise you are not fully married until you do.
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There’s no such thing as “fully” or “partly” married. You’re either married or you’re not, and marriage begins as soon as the vows are said. Consummation just renders a valid, sacramental marriage indissoluble.
 
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There is no religious requirement that a newly married couple have relations on their first night of wedded bliss. Wedding days are very busy events for the couple, I suspect that a very significant portion of couples are just beat at the end of the day and are in need of shut eye, more than probably would admit it.
 
We were in that situation ourselves and we waited. It wasn’t as hard for me because I had a fever of 102, so consummation was the farthest thing from mind. Was sick through the entire honeymoon. Fever finally broke on the last day. Married 23 years now.
 
There’s no rule that you must consummate the marriage on your wedding night. If you are in your fertile period and you want to delay pregnancy, it is certainly ok to abstain. It does sound as though you as open to life, you just want to plan for it, which is totally acceptable.
 
Heck, many couples are simply exhausted by the time that day is over that all they want is a big cheeseburger and sleep.
 
😆 Indeed.

My wife and I were in that boat. We waited a few days. We survived. 😜
 
Alli0913 said:
Is this just a normal thing in the practice of NFP and Catholicism, that we wouldn’t be able to consummate our marriage on the first night due to avoiding preganancy if I am at a fertile point in my cycle?
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It happens. If you want to avoid pregnancy and are in the fertile point in your cycle, yes you may need to abstain.

But people abstain on their wedding night for lots of reasons: tired, busy, staying with family members, traveling, nerves, etc.

It doesn’t really have anything to do with Catholicism per se.
 
Honestly, once we realized that was where we were at, it took a lot of pressure off. There was so much going on that day that removing that from the docket wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.
 
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