First night of marriage

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Yep. Sometimes there are other factors that interfere with consummating the marriage on the wedding night and during the honeymoon. Welcome to real life where very few things work out exactly as planned!
 
Roseeurekacross said:
Advice about consummating a marriage is best left to the Priest in charge of their soul, IMHO.

This is a delicate question best left between a couple and their priest. He can allay any fears.

Especially in the time leading up to the wedding being so close. Emotions run riot.

Congratulations misereremei25.
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I’m sorry, I still don’t understand. Allay what fears?
 
It’s fine to abstain. But you only get one wedding. My wife and I were in the same situation when we got married but we decided to forget the NFP until the honeymoon was over.
 
Sometimes the bride does not get a chance to eat, sometimes she does not want to risk a spill or splatter, and don’t even think about ruining that expensive make up! it is not uncommon for the couple to want a meal.
 
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It’s not wrong at all to abstain on your wedding night. One couple I heard about knew the bride was fertile on her wedding night and they didn’t want to have a baby right away, so they stayed up late playing video games. Seriously. 😁

Some Catholic couples decide to abstain on their wedding night in honour of Mary and Joseph, who had a celibate marriage.
 
I have a vision of a Catholic bride-to-be calling and reserving space for a wedding reception.

“What do you mean it’s only available on the 22nd? That day won’t work. I’ll be fertile!”
 
This whole wedding night circus makes me laugh often. Not to offend you, dear OP! It´s fine to think about it, and I did worried about it, too.
But our reality was a bride who did not eat the whole day until the ceremony was over in the affternoon, after a night of preparing food, falling asleep at 12 o´clock in the night, and a husband who had rarely the chance to flee from his male family who served more drinks than I could count.
Then, after the wedding day, a whole house full of relatives and friends who had longer travels back home, and don´t forget all the cards, gifts, dishes. Sex was really the last thing we cared about, and we never got the idea of an invalid marriage.
Part of the beauty of marriage is that you realize in the months after that you will have the chance to love your spouse your whole life, every day. No need to rush.
 
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Thirty years ago on our wedding night we finally escaped to the hotel near the airport (we were flying to our honeymoon destination the next day), ordered room service, and fell asleep after eating. We were hungry and exhausted. We were using NFP and I wasn’t fertile at the time and we still just ate and collapsed. A wedding is just a day. You have a lifetime of marriage ahead of you. Congrats!
 
You might just pass out after your wedding reception and after party (if you have one—we did) are over, honestly. It is a busy, busy day. We hardly spent any waking time alone.
 
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Why not invest in a fertility monitor? or buy the ovulation predictor sticks?
Even if you are to be is ovulating at that time, the chance of pregnancy is somewhere around 20%.
I would not delay consummation because of it.
 
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thelibrarian said:
Even if you are to be is ovulating at that time, the chance of pregnancy is somewhere around 20%.
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That really varies, some women are just more fertile than others, depending on their age and other factors. If 20% is the overall average, it would be less for older gals, and I’m sure there are other factors involved.
 
Augustinian said:
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thelibrarian:
Even if you are to be is ovulating at that time, the chance of pregnancy is somewhere around 20%.
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That really varies, some women are just more fertile than others, depending on their age and other factors. If 20% is the overall average, it would be less for older gals, and I’m sure there are other factors involved.
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It takes into account timing, etc. Even if someone is super fertile, getting the timing down to the short window is what is being referenced. It does not reference women over 40, women with fertility issues - but if both man and woman were healthy and fertile and not under stress the chances on any given cycle - not in any given year - are about that.
 
Alli0913 said:
Thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut 🙂 it’s a little strange and seems challenging to be able to go through that first night pr days of marriage without being able to engage in the marriage act but it makes sense that in avoidaing a pregnancy there is simply no other option.
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First, congrats on the wedding!

I never though about it because I actually do not know too many married people my age and I never talked much with people about marriage before I became engaged but my Fiance has. She told me it is actually not as uncommon as I might think that people do not have relations the first night they are married. Sometimes women are going through their period on the day and they would prefer not to. A co worker of mine told me that it is a tradition from his village in Mexico that the bride spends one last night at her parents house before moving in so that he did not sleep with his wife their first night of marriage either. There is nothing that says a marriage is invalid until consummated. All I have read on the topic is that a marriage is not indissoluble until consummated. But it does not say that consummation must be the first night.

As for you and your fiances choice to try to not get pregnant I have no comment as that is between you two and if you need direction I would talk to a priest. Congrats again!
 
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Camehome4john6 said:
Thirty years ago on our wedding night we finally escaped to the hotel near the airport (we were flying to our honeymoon destination the next day), ordered room service, and fell asleep after eating.
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We, too, slept at an airport near the hotel to fly away the next morning.

Only my brother knew what hotel we were at; I was worried about a couple of friends in particular doing something stupid.

One of them managed to get the information out of him.

I, though, had had the hotel use the code to deny that we were guests there.

Turns out, he was trying to send up the best bottle of champagne that this fancy hotel even had . . .

(he had also stuffed a c-note in my tux pocket on the way to the limo informing me that it was for “less than two bottles of champagne” . . . we went to the Top of the Wheel at Harvey’s, probably the best restaurant in the Tahoe area at the time, and found that two bottles of the best california “champagne” still left change . . . [I sure wasn’t going to do that french stuff!–I was raised in northern CA, with relatives in Napa . . .])

hawk
 
Yep we got room service. Between pictures and toasts and trying to see everyone. My steak and my wife’s pasta got taken by the wait staff. Thankfully we had lots of food at the church prior to the actual wedding.
 
My big memory of my wedding night was that I spent all day of a very long day greeting, talking to, socializing with my guests and by the time we made it to our hotel room I had developed some kind of laryngitis, lost my voice and sat up coughing for several hours while husband conked out. Afterwards it took about 2 days for me to be able to speak above a whisper.
 
We were a couple of days into the honeymoon when the bismuth poisoning (from the peptobismal that my wife substituted for my maalox, but fortunately someone noticed my symptoms and took it from me) kicked in, leading me to read a full Tom Clancy novel in the bathroom . . . . and then there was that horse rental . . . she grew up riding, asked for a beginner horse from me, got a barn-sour animal that I had to learn to master while on it’s back, which worked until she had them running and it turned on a dime at 30mph, leaving me five feet up at 30mph without a saddle [or horse] under me . . .

hawk
 
I honestly don’t know about that, but I do want to tell you congratulations
 
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