In my area the customary age for First Penance and First Communion is 2nd grade…I think my 5 year old kindergartener may be ready for First Penance. Can anyone explain the “age of reason” logic (i.e. what exactly does she need to understand - she knows what sin is & that it is wrong)? How would I go about preparing her at home for First Penance and is this a good idea? She has made several comments lately that she thinks she is evil (her reasons are the regular kid stuff, hitting her sister, doing bad things, etc.) and it seems to me like her heart is crying out for the grace of reconciliation. I’m not sure if she is “ready” or if her conscience is starting to develop more or what, but I don’t want to deny her the grace of the sacrament if that is what she needs.
Please let me know your thoughts.
Thanks,
khenderson
The requirement for first Confession is “age of reason.” The Church says that this happens by age 7, unless something else indicates the contrary.
Age of reason, or the faculty to reason does not mean simply being able to tell the difference between right and wrong, but it means that the person must
understand right from wrong. It’s not enough to say “I should not do this” but the person must understand “I should not do this because…” it offends God, because it’s wrong, not just “because I’ll be punished” In other words, we FIRST come to learn that we should not do certain things, then we LATER learn that there are reasony WHY we should not do these things. For example, higher animals can understand that there are certain things that they should not do (dogs learn that they aren’t supposed to make a mess on the carpet, but they cannot reason-out WHY it’s wrong.) As human beings develop, we move beyond the simple “that’s wrong” to the more complicated “that’s wrong because…” That’s essentially what is meant by the faculty to reason. It doesn’t mean that a child has to understand philosophy or anything like that, but it does mean that a child has to understand that sin is not just “wrong” but is something which “offends God” and also to understand what it means to be forgiven by Him (truly forgiven, not simply that the offense was dismissed or forgotten, but outright forgiven). One can’t ask for forgiveness without understanding what it means to be forgiven. This understanding comes later in an individual’s own development, after understanding right/wrong.
The Church says that this happens by age 7. If a child is significantly younger than age 7, it’s unlikely, but not impossible for that child to have attained the true faculty to reason. A 5 year old kindergartner is very unlikely to be in this position. In most cases, the best course of action is to follow the usual schedule of the parish and have children participate with their own peers in the Sacrament of Confession sometime in 2nd grade. There is a lot of genuine value in keeping your daughter with her own classmates and not making her an “exception.” At age 5 or 6 it is extremely unlikely that a child will commit any sins to make confession truly necessary as opposed to waiting until 2nd grade.
PS
Another point which escaped me in the first response. You said that she “thinks she’s evil” That in itself is an indication that she does not in fact understand what that means. Such an extreme statement can hardly apply to a 5 year old, so the fact that she’s saying it indicates that she doesn’t
understand what that really means.
