First Post, hello and question about confession (awkward question)

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Liz1999

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Hey everyone! New girl here :)! I am just coming back to the faith after having left it for a while because I got caught up with life and let it get the best of me. Anyway, I have a question about confession. So I feel like to ask my question I need to give a little background. So I’ve always been a quiet, home to school to work kind of girl. I’ve never been to a party, never had alcohol, never smoked nothing of that nature. I’ve never even kissed a guy. I’ve managed to save my first kiss for my wedding day, though as I
I’m about to explain in a bit, this doesn’t really amount to much both because I have mainly done it out of vanity and because I have been impure in my own way. At any rate, I went to confession and tried to just tell the priest my sin without explaining some things, and I think he got the wrong idea. He got really upset with me and told me to tell my parents I wanted to turn my life around and that I couldn’t just drag people around in some kind of game. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have sins, but when I told my mom she looked at me kind of shocked and she said “ What on earth did you tell him??”. So I told her I told him I took advantage of her and my dad and wasted my money that could’ve gone to my bills so they had to help me sometimes. I used to spend a lot of money on makeup for a few months back there( and don’t get me wrong, by a lot I don’t mean thousands or even hundreds. The most expensive thing I bought was around $70, which is still pretty darn wasteful.) , but I didn’t really explain things to him because I know we aren’t supposed to excuse ourselves, and I think he understood I was some crazy party girl. My mom told me that she had never felt like I had taken advantage of her or my dad, and that she didn’t think me buying makeup was a bad thing( I don’t really buy makeup anymore. I used to have some major self-esteem issues, which I’ve been allowing to go away. I also told him I spent a lot of money on going to movies with my friends and stuff, to which my family replied that they had been happy to see me leave the house. I had never really gone out with a friend to movies or dinner ( these were two girls).I stopped doing this. Still, I always felt like I was spending money I shouldn’t have been and still did it. Like I said, there were times my dad had to help with my car bill. Another thing is ( and this is where it gets a bit uncomfortable so I hope this doesn’t get the thread taken down or anything because I really need to know). So I really like to exercise, there is a particular exercise that gave me this really weird feeling that I enjoyed. To me this counted as mastubating though it looked just like sit ups. So I told him I had masturbated, but didn’t explain it was just exercise( I’m not saying it was any less sinful). Should I have explained more( I didn’t tell me mom about this one) ? Towards the end of my confession he was really upset because of some other things I told him that my Sister and mom think I exaggerated. I didn’t want to clarify things with the priest because I didn’t want to excuse myself and make the confession invalid, but I do really think he got the wrong idea.
 
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Liz1999 said:
Should I have explained more( I didn’t tell me mom about this one) ?
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In Confession, you don’t have to explain the circumstances or give a lot of details, as long as it’s clear what kind of sin it was. If the priest needs more information, he will ask. If he doesn’t ask, you can be sure that he heard what he needs to know.

Welcome to Catholic Answers Forums. It’s wonderful that you are coming back to the faith after having left it for a while. God bless you!
 
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Whatever confession if good for, it is not a replacement for general counselling about feelings and life. Some priests do this, but it is not part of their essential role. Talk to a counsellor.
 
Frankly, after reading this I think the priest was probably right on track.

Not sure why you’re trying to excuse yourself on here later instead of just taking the priest’s advice and doing whatever you need to do to improve.

70 dollars is a large amount of money when you do not even have your bills paid. If you have stopped wasting your money this way and relying on your parents for help, then fine, you’re already on the road to improvement and keep going in that direction.

I’m not really sure why you feel a need to share this whole wall of text about minutiae in your life, some of it really personal, with strangers on the internet to be honest. It’s not our place to second-guess the priest. If you know what you need to do to straighten up, or the priest told you what you should do, then like I said, just do it.
 
The bottom line is that you confessed, and received absolution. That is good!

Maybe you need a bit more practice on how to articulate things during Confession to convey your sins accurately without undue exaggerations or excuses. That is harder for some of us than for others, and it can take some time. But try not to fret over it too much. Know that your sins were forgiven and be at peace!

God bless!
 
Take what was useful from what he said to you, and leave the rest. If you’re wounded by feeling misunderstood or misjudged, offer that pain to Jesus so that he can use it.

But there is nothing wrong with making a reasonable attempt to avoid that experience in the future. It sounds like it might be a good idea to go to another priest next time. Some will understand you better than others. You are free to confess to any priest you like, so if you have the option, you might want to find someone it’s easier for you to communicate with.

In the meantime, your sins were forgiven. Happiness! 🙂
 
Confession is to tell the time and be absolved. If the priest needs more detail, he will ask. Of course we shouldnt be so vague, but we are not there to tell our life story. If you are not sure if what you did was sin, it isnt because you were unaware of it being sin if it was.
 
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