First time attending a Roman Catholic Mass and I have some questions

[MrBibbins]

This forum section seemed to best fit my question, forgive me if it’s misplaced.

I suppose I’ll start with a little background of my situation so here we go,

I was raised in a non-denominational evangelical family, we would attend many, I call them, "charismatic" churches but I never felt a connection to the Lord. I ended up dreading Sundays and was very, very reluctant to attend. After my parents divorced we pretty much stopped going to church except for a few occasions like Easter and Christmas. I still had a close relationship with the Lord but had no church/place to call home. A couple years passed and I started attending an Episcopal parish, I really enjoyed it there and ended up being baptized at said parish.

I formed a bond with the rector and consider him a dear friend but, a few months back he went on a two month vacation with his father and the other priest was left to the liturgical duties. On her first Sunday she gave a sermon that was very, very troubling to me, it revolved around, “Jesus isn’t the only way to God” and she kept alluding to “Jesus was a model of how to live our lives, not the son of God”. This was quite appalling to me, I thought to myself, “How can you be Christian and believe such things”. As the weeks went on she kept giving sermons that did not sit well wIth me and I came to my breaking point, it felt to me, that it might be time to leave the church.

I have asked God for guidance in the matter of where to call home and it seems I keep having my heart pulled towards the Roman Catholic Church. Now we finally get to my question. This Sunday will be my first Mass and I am stressing out over when the time comes to partake in the Eucharist/Holy Communion what do I do? I know the RCC has a closed communion policy and don't know if I should just stay in my pew or what. Besides this question I am also having a very hard time with the prospect of leaving my current parish for it's the place I feel I've grown closest to God. Any advice or comforting words to ease the pain of this process would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks to all who took the time to read this.

 

[Love_Divine]

When it comes to communion, just remain in your pew.

 

[JGMendes4049]

This Sunday will be my first Mass and I am stressing out over when the time comes to partake in the Eucharist/Holy Communion what do I do? I know the RCC has a closed communion policy and don’t know if I should just stay in my pew or what.

I can’t really answer your other questions, but I know the answer to this one.

Unfortunately, you cannot receive Holy Communion, but you can stay in your pew, and if you wish you may pray an Act of Spiritual Communion:

My Jesus,
I believe that You
are present in the Most Holy Sacrament.
I love You above all things,
and I desire to receive You into my soul.
Since I cannot at this moment
receive You sacramentally,
come at least spiritually into my heart.
I embrace You as if You were already there
and unite myself wholly to You.
Never permit me to be separated from You.

Amen.

Good luck at your first Mass!

 

[mlz]

Since I’m not Catholic either when I go to Mass I stay in the pew but pray the prayer for a spiritual communion which you could do also.

I too would have been appalled with the teachings you were hearing! Unfortunately this is what is happening more and more in the Episcopal and Lutheran traditions as well. I have had that experience in my Lutheran church that I no longer attend. I miss the very good people there, but can’t continue going and give “approval” by my attendance…It’s very sad. God has been nudging me also to the Catholic Church as well. I understand that it is hard. I will say a prayer for you.

My love in Him,
mlz

 

[OrdinaryMelkite]

This forum section seemed to best fit my question, forgive me if it’s misplaced.

I suppose I’ll start with a little background of my situation so here we go,

I was raised in a non-denominational evangelical family, we would attend many, I call them, "charismatic" churches but I never felt a connection to the Lord. I ended up dreading Sundays and was very, very reluctant to attend. After my parents divorced we pretty much stopped going to church except for a few occasions like Easter and Christmas. I still had a close relationship with the Lord but had no church/place to call home. A couple years passed and I started attending an Episcopal parish, I really enjoyed it there and ended up being baptized at said parish.

I formed a bond with the rector and consider him a dear friend but, a few months back he went on a two month vacation with his father and the other priest was left to the liturgical duties. On her first Sunday she gave a sermon that was very, very troubling to me, it revolved around, “Jesus isn’t the only way to God” and she kept alluding to “Jesus was a model of how to live our lives, not the son of God”. This was quite appalling to me, I thought to myself, “How can you be Christian and believe such things”. As the weeks went on she kept giving sermons that did not sit well wIth me and I came to my breaking point, it felt to me, that it might be time to leave the church.

I have asked God for guidance in the matter of where to call home and it seems I keep having my heart pulled towards the Roman Catholic Church. Now we finally get to my question. This Sunday will be my first Mass and I am stressing out over when the time comes to partake in the Eucharist/Holy Communion what do I do? I know the RCC has a closed communion policy and don't know if I should just stay in my pew or what. Besides this question I am also having a very hard time with the prospect of leaving my current parish for it's the place I feel I've grown closest to God. Any advice or comforting words to ease the pain of this process would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks to all who took the time to read this.

Welcome to CAF, Mr.Bibbins.
As an Eastern Catholic, my services are very different than RC but I can tell you that what you’ve been told so far is correct way to go.

BTW—I’m sorry you had such a (understandably, to say the least) negative experience with this female priest.
Question----are you the only one troubled by this female priest’s sermons that you know of? I can’t believe you to be the only one.
I also have a hard time believing even a (mostly) left-leaning church like the Episcopal Church would allow this type of theology to be taught from their pew. What this priest is saying belongs in an Unitarian Church, not an Episcopal church.

Once again, though----welcome.

 

[lewevanhoop]

i only wish to point out that to have a female priest is impossible as only male are considered the proper matter for the sacrament of Holy Orders.

 

[OrdinaryMelkite]

i only wish to point out that to have a female priest is impossible as only male are considered the proper matter for the sacrament of Holy Orders.

Correct for the CC-----but the Episcopal Church (which is what we are discussing here) has a different view of things----------------unfortunately.

 

[faithfully]

Hi There… Everyone’s answer is correct. Just stay seated. Or you can even kneel and pray…

And just so you know, NO ONE will think it’s weird. We know there are lots of reason a person stays seated, yours is a very valid one. And no one is judging…

In case you happen to be at the exit point of the pew, and there are others that need to get out… If you’re small, you can usually press your body back to the seat, and allow people to pass over you (like you might in a movie theatre)… Or you can do like my husband (big guy), who is not Catholic. He gets up, walks out of the pew, takes a step back and gestures to those passing him to please go ahead. I’ve never seen anyone argue with him. If you’re in the return entrance to the pew… you can do the same… He usually gets out of the pew and lets everyone pass him. Again, he’s a big guy, it would be hard for many to get past him.

Welcome, & enjoy…

 

[RebeccaJ]

MrBibbins- Just go to Mass. Many prayers are said, participate in those, sing the hymns, hear the Word of God in the readings. During communion, stay in the pew as has already been mentioned. No need to feel odd about this. Many people do the same thing.

It is natural to worry over leaving where you currently are. God will guide you, put your trust there.

 

[KarenElissa]

Besides this question I am also having a very hard time with the prospect of leaving my current parish for it’s he place I feel I’ve grown closest to God. Any advice or comforting words to ease the pain of this process would be greatly appreciated.

I’ll skip the first question as others have addressed it and jump to this one. I know very well how hard it is to make this jump. I was Methodist before becoming Catholic and VERY active and very happy with my church right up until the time that I made the jump.

It is hard to make that jump. I went from a place where I knew tons of people and was quite happy to a place where I knew pretty much no one. It was hard to start over and it took awhile to REALLY feel comfortable in my parish. But I knew I had to do it. Once I was convinced that the Catholic Church was the one founded by Christ and is the one that has continued straight down from there, I knew I had to do. And now, nearly four years later, I love my parish and am SOO happy that I’m Catholic.

I have kept in contact with a few people from my old church, I am still VERY close to one family in particular, but most people I just slowly drifted away from when I stopped seeing them every week. But I am also TERRIBLE about keeping in contact with people, even those I’ve been very close to.

My biggest advice is just go slow and be patient. Take time to really sort out what it is about the Catholic Church that is drawing you in and don’t make the jump “in the heat of the moment.” And be patient as you adjust to a new place. It won’t immediately feel like home, but eventually it will.

 

[Elizium23]

i only wish to point out that to have a female priest is impossible as only male are considered the proper matter for the sacrament of Holy Orders.

The matter of the sacrament is the imposition of hands, and/or the instruments of the office (i.e. chalice). The person being ordained is the subject of the sacrament.

 

[Cruxis117]

As everyone has said, please either remain in your pew, or if you wish, you can go up with your hand over your left (your heart) and you will be given a blessing. This has been something which in the parishes I’ve attended have asked. I’m pretty sure that it’s okay for a Priest to give you a blessing. It’s also usually given for Catholics who have committed mortal sin and cannot take the Eucharist.

 

[tlimon]

@OP and Cruxis.

This is really great advice. Before I was confirmed, I would go up with my arms crossed - hands on my shoulders (custom at my parish). I would go up for a blessing by the priest. The priest,however, is holding the Eucharist in his hands. Each time I got close to the Eucharist, I would feel like there was a magnet over my heart drawing me nearer to the Eucharist, closer to Christ. Perhaps there is a string over your heart too. You know, pulling you closer. Take care and God bless.

Yours in Christ,

Thomas Augustine

 

[Like]

As everyone has said, please either remain in your pew, or if you wish, you can go up with your hand over your left (your heart) and you will be given a blessing. This has been something which in the parishes I’ve attended have asked. I’m pretty sure that it’s okay for a Priest to give you a blessing. It’s also usually given for Catholics who have committed mortal sin and cannot take the Eucharist.

NO! NO! Do not go up for a blessing in the Communion line! At the close of Mass all will receive a blessing.

 

[Like]

As everyone has said, please either remain in your pew, or if you wish, you can go up with your hand over your left (your heart) and you will be given a blessing. This has been something which in the parishes I’ve attended have asked. I’m pretty sure that it’s okay for a Priest to give you a blessing. It’s also usually given for Catholics who have committed mortal sin and cannot take the Eucharist.

@OP and Cruxis.

This is really great advice. Before I was confirmed, I would go up with my arms crossed - hands on my shoulders (custom at my parish). I would go up for a blessing by the priest. The priest,however, is holding the Eucharist in his hands. Each time I got close to the Eucharist, I would feel like there was a magnet over my heart drawing me nearer to the Eucharist, closer to Christ. Perhaps there is a string over your heart too. You know, pulling you closer. Take care and God bless.

Yours in Christ,

Thomas Augustine

NO! NO! Do not go up for a blessing in the Communion line! At the close of Mass all will receive a blessing.

Just to add…
Please read the
Sticky: Receiving “blessing” instead of communion…

 

[alpprou]

I say just stay in the pew. However i might suggest that if you are comfortable enough with the idea to address your questions and concerns to the priest at that Catholic church you go. They should be able to answer and address your questions and concerns for you, or at least be able to direct you or where you could get them answered. I would say that bible and the book the catechism of the catholic church might also be helpful.

 

[starsmurf]

Hi MrBibbins

I converted to the Catholic Church, and like you, it was very difficult to leave my old church as I had a close bond with many of those attending. I also felt this strange “pull” towards the Catholic Church. The problems you have had with the sermons given by the woman pastor are probably God’s way of giving you the little push you need to attend Mass.

I felt a sense of loss when I knew that God was asking me to join the Catholic Church, as my then church was somewhere I felt comfortable and had many friends. I did find that God keeps the promise Jesus makes in the Gospels, that He will give back a hundredfold what we give up for Him. I now have a group of friends that are like family to me and this more than replaces what I left behind. Some Catholic Churches have people who are tasked to look out for people attending for the first time. If the Mass you’re attending doesn’t have this, then have a quick word with the priest when you go in, if possible, or at the end. Just explain that you’re new and not sure of things, he’ll be more than happy to help you. Most parishes will have their adult conversion classes (RCIA) mentioned in the notes, I found it useful to go to these, even before I was sure I wanted to be Catholic, just to learn more and to meet people

I’ve never regretted becoming Catholic. If you follow this call of God, I think you will be the same. I find that I am even closer to God now than I ever could have been before. There are so many riches of tradition and writings in the Catholic Church that it would have been impossible for me to grow as close to God if I had stayed in my old church.

If you have any questions, please just ask. I’ll be praying for you.

 

[japhy]

On her first Sunday she gave a sermon that was very, very troubling to me, it revolved around, “Jesus isn’t the only way to God” and she kept alluding to “Jesus was a model of how to live our lives, not the son of God”.

I’m struggling to see how those sermons a) can be reconciled with Scripture, and b) are edifying to the faithful, that is, can help the faithful grow in their Christian faith and in holiness.

It’s a real shame that such things pass for “Christian” sermons, and I’m glad you made a choice to distance yourself from them.

This Sunday will be my first Mass and I am stressing out over when the time comes to partake in the Eucharist/Holy Communion what do I do? …] I am also having a very hard time with the prospect of leaving my current parish for it’s the place I feel I’ve grown closest to God.

As for what to do: stay in your pew and pray; make an act of “spiritual communion”, where you ask Jesus to come to you spiritually because you cannot receive Him sacramentally. (Do a Google search for “spiritual communion” and you’re sure to find a couple prayers.)

As for leaving the place you feel you’ve grown closest to God: consider it a mountain peak, the tallest one you’ve climbed… but there are other mountain peaks just as tall, if not taller, within your sight.

 

[lewevanhoop]

The matter of the sacrament is the imposition of hands, and/or the instruments of the office (i.e. chalice). The person being ordained is the subject of the sacrament.

i always thought that the matter consisted of the physical elements of the sacrament (ie water for baptism) and the other two element are intent and form.

 

[MrBibbins]

Thank you everyone for all the wonderful answers, I now feel much more comfortable with attending. I’ve been trying to understand the basis for much of the Church’s dogma/doctrines and have surprisingly (given the way my family taught me the Bible and their “disdain” for the RCC, I excpected to find nothing) found a lot of scriptural support. That being said, I still have many, many questions about some of the more “interesting” practices within the Church and am hopeful one of the two parishes around here have an RCIA program. I thank you all once again for the advice and prayers.