First TLM?

[iona_scribe]

Quite frankly, the outfit as pictured appears to me to be lingerie; that outfit would not seem proper at any Mass – TLM or not.

Surely you have a day time dress that you could wear to Mass on Sunday. What do you wear at your own church?

I strongly agree. One has to wonder whether the person wearing such an outfit is going to a church or a brothel. That dress is highly inappropriate to wear in public, whether you’re going to Mass or not. The original poster says she will be wearing a sweater over it. Why buy a dress if the only way you can wear it is if you cover it up with a modest sweater?

Please show some charity toward the original poster. The fact that she came here asking for advice shows respect and humility on her part. I would think that you could extend courtesy and kindness when expressing your opinions to someone who is going out of their way to learn about what to wear. But you’ve rewarded her actions with insults.

I don’t think either of you realize how intimidating it is for someone that has not yet experienced a Latin Mass. The expectation that one gets from forum comments like these is that the pews will be filled with people staring at the newcomers with angry frowny faces, waiting for them to make a mistake. Don’t scare people away that are genuinely trying to appreciate the TLM.

I’m very grateful to the people here who have answered my questions and dove’s questions with a kind welcome.

 

[VivatJesus]

I might have an opportunity to attend my first Tridentine Mass this weekend (maybe, hopefully–cross your fingers for me!). But I am very nervous. I have a couple issues, mostly about what to wear. They are:

1.) Communion. I’ve never received Communion on the tongue before, or at a kneeling rail, so I’m nervous about that. I’m not used to sticking my tongue out at people. What if I drop it? I’d hate to go a week without Communion if I don’t have to, but would it be wisest to not receive it and just observe and take mental notes for next time? Am I overthinking this?
**You think you are more likely to drop it if it is placed directly on your tongue than when it is first manhandled by a layperson and placed in your palm?? There’s always an altar boy holding a paten under your chin to catch the Host if it drops, which rarely happens anyway. Simply tilt your head back, open your mouth, stick out your tongue a little, then when the priest puts the Host on your tongue, close your mouth and let it disintegrate in your mouth with your saliva before swallowing it (don’t chew it!). **
2.) Following along in my missal. I have the 1962 one from Angelus Press, but I’m still wary of not really being able to follow along. I think I can manage, though. Will the readings or homily be done in English, or Latin? Does that depend on the parish? If I don’t give responses, because I don’t know how to pronounce Latin words, would it be all right to just be quiet?
Most traditional priests give sermons, not homilies; there’s a difference. In any case, it is always in the vernacular (English). The readings are done in Latin at the altar, and then read in English from the pulpit just before the sermon. Following along in your missal will take some getting used to…remember, you never know where exactly the priest is at except when the bells ring, and while the choir is singing the “Sanctus” the priest is probably already about to perform the Consecration. Just relax, read through your Missal, adore the Host and Chalice during the Elevation, and include some private devotional prayers of your own before and after communion–the Angelus Press missal has some great ones to choose from.

3.) Clothes. I’m really worried about offending people when it comes to this, since I’d really like to keep going to this parish for awhile. I don’t want to be known as that girl who came in dressed all wrong and was too embarrassed to come back.

For example, would this outfit be okay? I am short, so the dress comes to my knees. And don’t worry, I would also wear a black sweater over it that comes to my elbows, plus this mantilla I bought awhile ago but haven’t had the chance to use yet.

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n110/amniaa/314VD2kx0iL_SS260_.jpg

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n110/amniaa/49BK.jpg

Or would calves and forearms be showing too much skin? Should I keep looking for Mass-friendly clothes? (And where in the world do you gals find those!?)
**It’s a Mass, not a cocktail party. But the dress probably wouldn’t be a problem IF you are going to wear the sweater over it. Showing calves/forearms is fine. As long as your dress reaches below the knees and there is no shoulder, back, or cleavage exposure, you’ll be fine. **
4.) Is there anything else someone born and raised in an NO setting should know before going to a TLM? Anything in terms of etiquette or relating to the Mass? Did anyone here switch over to the EF like I am hoping to? What helps you get the most out of it?
There are a lot of differences, and for someone from the NO it will take some getting used to. I think if you keep in mind that the participation in the TLM is active, but a contemplative, meditative sort of active rather than mindlessly repeating phrases at the priest or layperson’s cue as in the Novus Ordo. In the TLM you are a lot less conscious of yourself and the people around you. Your focus is on the priest’s actions at the altar, and on the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ at Calvary made present before your eyes.
This was über long. Perhaps too long. If you got through all this without virtually slapping me, kudos to you!

 

[nannygirl]

Please show some charity toward the original poster. The fact that she came here asking for advice shows respect and humility on her part. I would think that you could extend courtesy and kindness when expressing your opinions to someone who is going out of their way to learn about what to wear. But you’ve rewarded her actions with insults.

I don’t think either of you realize how intimidating it is for someone that has not yet experienced a Latin Mass. The expectation that one gets from forum comments like these is that the pews will be filled with people staring at the newcomers with angry frowny faces, waiting for them to make a mistake. Don’t scare people away that are genuinely trying to appreciate the TLM.

I’m very grateful to the people here who have answered my questions and dove’s questions with a kind welcome.

I have met a few of those with the frowny faces and ugly remarks and I pity them. There is nothing you can do for them that will ever please them. But most of the people I have met at the TLM are happy and go out of their way to be friendly and welcoming to newcomers. At least that has been my experience.

 

[mullenpm]

Now that we have heard from the Holier-Than-Thou group, let’s recap this situation.

A young woman asked advice about a dress she proposed to wear to attend her first Latin Mass. I assume she is a Catholic and attends Mass regularly at her own parish and has not found a need to ask for wardrobe guidance or what to wear to Mass there. I have a feeling she already knew this dress was not something to wear to Mass.

My comment was about the appropriateness of her dress; a revealing party dress to be worn in the evening. Church attendance aside, she would not wear this dress to the supermarket nor to work. The dress was inappropriate day-time apparel. Those of you who found my comments to this woman “insulting” are not doing her a favor by passing over how out of line her chosen dress was and suggesitng that anyone who disagreed with you was “one of those.”

Let’s forget the "Latin Mass’ event and focus on the fact that she was attending Mass. The True Presence of Jesus Christ is upon the altar, whatever the language. I am told that at Mother Angelica’s convent there is a sign that says “This is Holy Ground. Proper Dress is Required.”

That is what I ask when someone presents themself before the Blessed Sacrament, respect and proper dress.

Charity should begin with God.

 

[PrayforMallory]

Right. Which is why I would put a sweater on over it. Would that be okay?

I would think a sweater would cover it.

Don’t listen to naysayers. Go in confidence to the traditional Mass and experience it for yourself, and let us know about it!

 

[PrayforMallory]

Hello. I have a question; are women required to wear a mantilla at the TLM? My husband and I found out that a nearby church has a Latin Mass and we’re excited to go this Sunday. I have no idea where to acquire a mantilla, and I’m afraid to go if not having one will be disrespectful. Does anyone have advice on this?

Don’t sweat the mantilla. If you want to wear one, great, but it’s not a requirement and there is a 100% there are going to be several women without them there.

I’ve seen people in jeans and t shirts at the traditional Mass. Some people just don’t have the formal attire, and with this economy, I can’t blame them.

It’s all in the attitude.

Go in confidence to the traditional Mass.

 

[nannygirl]

Now that we have heard from the Holier-Than-Thou group, let’s recap this situation.

A young woman asked advice about a dress she proposed to wear to attend her first Latin Mass. I assume she is a Catholic and attends Mass regularly at her own parish and has not found a need to ask for wardrobe guidance or what to wear to Mass there. I have a feeling she already knew this dress was not something to wear to Mass.

My comment was about the appropriateness of her dress; a revealing party dress to be worn in the evening. Church attendance aside, she would not wear this dress to the supermarket nor to work. The dress was inappropriate day-time apparel. Those of you who found my comments to this woman “insulting” are not doing her a favor by passing over how out of line her chosen dress was and suggesitng that anyone who disagreed with you was “one of those.”

Let’s forget the "Latin Mass’ event and focus on the fact that she was attending Mass. The True Presence of Jesus Christ is upon the altar, whatever the language. I am told that at Mother Angelica’s convent there is a sign that says “This is Holy Ground. Proper Dress is Required.”

That is what I ask when someone presents themself before the Blessed Sacrament, respect and proper dress.

Charity should begin with God.

Dear mullenpm,

My comments weren’t directed at you personally. A couple of us were commenting that there are some frowny-faced people who would treat the OP that way if she dressed in a way they considered inappropriate. I was not saying you are one of them, but your angry faces at the end of your post, made it seem like you could be.
The OP said the dress was long on her because she is very short and she would be covering her top parts with a sweater, so it seems like she would be dressed in a respectful way. I even gave the Vatican dress guidelines earler and her outfit would pass their test. Later she mentioned she would be going shopping for some new clothes.
I think she is truly wanting to dress in a respectful way, so maybe it’s best not to make assumptions.