Five Love Languages

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Mamebl

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My dh and I have always had communication issues. We have been married 4 years and are really at a breaking point. This has been a really tough, emotional year and he feels unloved and unappreciated and so do I. We are total opposites when it comes to just about everything and while that is probably what brought us together in a way, it’s what is driving us apart.
Recently I have been reading “The Power of a Praying Wife” and just started the “Five Love Languages.” I took the Five Love Languages quiz and scored highest for Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. My dh is pretty good about words of appreciation when I do something he asks me to do but not on everyday things. He can also say pretty hurtful things sometimes and always says that I just take it wrong.
I am going to have my dh take the quiz tonight but I suspect he will score highest for Physical Touch and Quality Time. And, while I guess thats good that we both want quality time to feel loved, because we are so opposite, we still struggle with showing our love this way. So what happens is he shows his love by being affectionate, which unfortunately I’m not, and I tend to show my love by doing Acts of Service which I didn’t even score high on…
So my question is, is it possible to want to recieve love in a language but tend to show your love in a whole different language? Hopefully this is covered in the book but I haven’t got past the first couple of pages yet!!:confused:

Mame
 
the 5 love languages is good book, but i also recommend Greg Popcak’s For Better, Forever and also the book Crucial Conversations if you are having problems communicating in a way that is not hurtful to one another.
 
I’ve always felt that he talks down to me or says hurtful things. He is generally a negative person, even with his friends, and sometimes talks to them the same way. I tell him all the time that he hurts my feelings but his response has always been that he doesn’t mean anything by it, that I’m taking it wrong.

Mame
 
Mamebl said:
I’ve always felt that he talks down to me or says hurtful things. He is generally a negative person, even with his friends, and sometimes talks to them the same way. I tell him all the time that he hurts my feelings but his response has always been that he doesn’t mean anything by it, that I’m taking it wrong.

Mame
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Get Crucial Conversations if he will read it too. It is not acceptable to hurt people’s feelings and blow it off as their problem.

That is passive-aggressive behavior, because he does mean it and he does know what he is doing.
 
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