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billy1
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I am a catholic student living in Turkey. I found myself casually flirting with turkish women but now, I feel really bad about it. Is it a sin or is it forbidden to engage in flirtatious discussions with muslim women?
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guanophore
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Is it respectful of their faith and dignity?
What kind of witness does it give them about Christianity?
“… speak … to younger men as brothers, 2 to older women as mothers, to younger women as sisters—with absolute purity.” I Tim 5
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Beryllos
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I have read that Muslim women in some parts of the world are severely punished for flirting, by their families, religious authorities, or community elders (or tribal elders). Do not do anything that would put Muslim women in such danger.
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Sophie111
Guest
Why would you think that exactly?
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billy1
Guest
Because I just don’t feel well. Then comes the part when she talked about me to her mother and even if we are only classmates, she and her mother expects me to conver to islam.
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Sophie111
Guest
You really dont understand Muslim culture or women do you! All this was inevitable.
I dont know if it is sinful but it certainly is foolish and playing with fire … especially if you didnt realise the predictable consequences.
There is nothing intrinsically wrong with inter racial or inter religious marriages for a Christian. But you need maturity and a deep understanding of the consequences for both yourself and your beloved. If you do not want to give up Christianity then she will have to give up her Islam and likely be ostracised from her family. If she loves you enough she might do that. Are you prepared for that responsibility from day1? That is just 1 obstacle.
I presume you are living in the US. If you are living in a Muslim country you or her could well be injured by her father and brothers over such matters.
I myself am married to a Chinese Buddhist these 20 yrs.
You are playing with fire but you dont have the wisdom to be its master yet. I suggest you restrain yourself and stay with your own kind for a decade or so until you understand other cultures better. There is no free lunch in exotic lands.
I dont know if it is sinful but it certainly is foolish and playing with fire … especially if you didnt realise the predictable consequences.
There is nothing intrinsically wrong with inter racial or inter religious marriages for a Christian. But you need maturity and a deep understanding of the consequences for both yourself and your beloved. If you do not want to give up Christianity then she will have to give up her Islam and likely be ostracised from her family. If she loves you enough she might do that. Are you prepared for that responsibility from day1? That is just 1 obstacle.
I presume you are living in the US. If you are living in a Muslim country you or her could well be injured by her father and brothers over such matters.
I myself am married to a Chinese Buddhist these 20 yrs.
You are playing with fire but you dont have the wisdom to be its master yet. I suggest you restrain yourself and stay with your own kind for a decade or so until you understand other cultures better. There is no free lunch in exotic lands.
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Francis
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A word of caution thought, stay alive! buddy, don’t get your self in trouble!
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BartholomewB
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In your OP you talked about “casually flirting” with Muslim women (in the plural) but here you switched to the singular: “she” expects you to convert to Islam. There is a double dissonance here. On the one hand, is it just one Turkish woman or several? And on the other, something that may be a danger sign of unpleasantness ahead, it’s quite possible that the kind of behavior that you, as a Westerner, think of as “casually flirting” may be interpreted in a Muslim environment as a considered approach to a serious commitment. You need to make sure you’re both on the same wavelength. How open to Western lifestyles is she? And bear in mind that you’re the outsider who is temporarily living in her social and religious environment, not the other way around.
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Bluebright
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Turkey has the appearance of being a secular country but is still quite Muslim, culturally, even in so called tourist areas, and you do not say what area you are in, so be careful you dont end up being hurt by her family for one thing, also be careful you dont get her hurt. So I would say don’t do it as you do not in all likelihood fully understand the implications. Modern Muslim woman may not mind and may respond and Turkey has both modern and traditional Muslim woman but either way, it is likely to not be taken in the same way as flirting with a western woman. Bear in mind where you are. I know you say you live there, but if you are a student you may not be aware of cultural differences. unless you live with Turkish people and even then cultural differences can be difficult to pick up. Even a simple gesture like pointing at something is offensive in Turkey. It is a lovely country though so if I were you I’d concentrate more on your studies and the beauty of the country. The people are also very hospitable and interesting, so perhaps less flirting and seek friendship instead . Some of the Bible was set in Turkey so you may find you can travel to Ephesus or such places, Mary’s house is just near there and worth seeing.
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billy1
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I’ve had flirtatious talk with 3 turkish women, 2 of which started the conversation and showed some interest in me. But one “ONE” brought up the subject of converting to Islam last Ramadan when I was the only guy in the pack who didn’t fast and the she opened her whatsapp only to show a message from her mother to me. So I was shocked!
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billy1
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yeah I have seen Mary’s house and Ephesus. I wanted to talk to the priest at St. John’s cathedral in Izmir last summer about these but too bad I missed him.
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ontheway1
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Every Muslim’s responsibility is to convert every no-believer. That’s a fact, regardless of how many voices will proclaim that not every Muslim, etc. and so on. If they are a Muslim they will try, particularly during ramadan. They get “extra credit” for that. (BTW. This is not just my opinion)
Regarding Muslim girls, I think it has all been said above. Turkey is not an open society like yours. Words and deeds have consequences. If the law doesn’t come after you (it probably won’t) her brothers and cousins probably will. Good luck.
Regarding Muslim girls, I think it has all been said above. Turkey is not an open society like yours. Words and deeds have consequences. If the law doesn’t come after you (it probably won’t) her brothers and cousins probably will. Good luck.
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Chicken_Pigeon
Guest
I simply don’t know how one would get a significant other without flirting. I know it’s good to be respectful but I think you can respectfully flirt.
My only issue is do you wanna end up with a Muslim wife?
Bokbok
My only issue is do you wanna end up with a Muslim wife?
Bokbok
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CTBcin
Guest
To be fair, Turkey is one of the most westernized and secularized Muslim nations in many respects, so something like this is much less likely to occur in Turkey, as opposed to… say… Pakistan.
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ChristMyLife
Guest
If you’re single and searching for your soulmate, I’d say go for it.
If you find a good woman who is devout and loves Allah like you love Allah, and she is comfortable with you practicing your Catholic religion and agrees to raise any children in the Catholic Faith, then there is no issue.
Our Father Abraham himself had both a Semitic (Judeo-Christian) wife, and an Arabic (Islamic) wife.
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adamhovey1988
Guest
What do you mean by flirting? I’ve noticed that I come across that way to women. It’s not always intentional, it’s just my personality.
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StephenBales
Guest
Wowie wow. Lotta stuff to unpack here.
First: in the OP, it almost sounded like this flirting was coming about by accident. If that’s the case, fine; it was unintentional, but now follow your conscience and quit it. If it isn’t accidental, and you are talking about one woman, then know that like other posters said, you could be endangering her and you are certainly putting yourself in a dangerous position, possibly courting someone of another faith. Particularly one so flagrantly contradictory to your own.
That brings me to the second point. Contrary to what other posters have said, NO, it is not “okay” to marry someone of a contradictory or even merely not-on-the-same-page faith. For one, you’re conveying to the person that they’re perfectly acceptable the way they are and no change needs to happen. In that case, it seems there’s not a lot of care for this gal’s status with God. Islam is inherently contradictory and antithetical to our Catholic faith. Unequally toning yourself will bring pain and heartache, especially for your kids.
Don’t go through with whatever is in your head right now. Unless, of course, this gal is willing to convert. Or unless you’re not very serious about your faith.
Pax Christi.
Crux sacra sit mihi lux, non draco sit mihi dux
First: in the OP, it almost sounded like this flirting was coming about by accident. If that’s the case, fine; it was unintentional, but now follow your conscience and quit it. If it isn’t accidental, and you are talking about one woman, then know that like other posters said, you could be endangering her and you are certainly putting yourself in a dangerous position, possibly courting someone of another faith. Particularly one so flagrantly contradictory to your own.
That brings me to the second point. Contrary to what other posters have said, NO, it is not “okay” to marry someone of a contradictory or even merely not-on-the-same-page faith. For one, you’re conveying to the person that they’re perfectly acceptable the way they are and no change needs to happen. In that case, it seems there’s not a lot of care for this gal’s status with God. Islam is inherently contradictory and antithetical to our Catholic faith. Unequally toning yourself will bring pain and heartache, especially for your kids.
Don’t go through with whatever is in your head right now. Unless, of course, this gal is willing to convert. Or unless you’re not very serious about your faith.
Pax Christi.
Crux sacra sit mihi lux, non draco sit mihi dux
It’s not a sin. But make sure you don’t tick off their fathers or brothers or you may find yourself going home without a hand…or a head.
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ChristMyLife
Guest
Ideally you’ll marry someone of the same faith and same spiritual level as yourself.
Unfortunately, the world we live in isn’t ideal. Ideals often get trumped by reality.
If you fall in love and find yourself coupled with a Jewish or Muslim woman, as long as they are comfortable with your faith and agree to raise the children in the Catholic Faith, then there is no issue.
Lastly, I disagree that Islam is inherently opposed to Christianity. Muslims and Christians have peacefully coexisted for centuries in hundreds of places in the world. Both Christians and Muslims venerate Mary as the Immaculate Virgin Mother of Jesus, both see Jesus as the Messiah born of the Virgin Mary, both see Jesus as a Great Prophet, and both worship the One and Only Allah.
Everything I just wrote is official Catholic doctrine.
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