Foot Washing at a Catholic Wedding

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Just as the title says. I have been doing some research into catholic weddings. I am not catholic myself but want to know if it would be permissible or unusual to have a foot washing ceremony between the bride and groom as part of the wedding ceremony? Your thoughts?
 
The freewill exchange of vows between adult man and adult woman who are free to enter into marriage ( the spouses confer the sacrament onto each other), the blessing of the ordained clergy and the witness of others and are what’s required to make the rite valid.

Anything else added to the ceremony-- flowers to the Blessed Mother, the unity candle etc are just that-- cultural additions. Some seem more appropriate than others. Amongst the nicest ive heard of is a tradition in some eastern european catholic ceremonies where the spouses together grasp a crucifix and say certain prayers.

Footwashing has a special place in the Holy Thursday Liturgy. In my opinion, it’s placement within the Catholic wedding ceremony is dubious . Practical considerations present themselves too-- many brides would probably be unwilling to risk a wet hem, a soggy shoe etc in order to include footwashing.
 
I saw this done at a Protestant wedding and I think it’s a very touching tradition, but as another poster said, that tradition has a special place in our Holy Thursday liturgy and I don’t think it’s appropriate for a Catholic Mass. I actually don’t think unity candles are appropriate either, but I think they’re nice at a reception if you want to have them.
 
Unusual to the point of being an utter novelty and likely to get a very dim reception from the priest. Even if the priest goes for it (which I add because if you are diligent you can probably find one who will do nearly anything :(), I’d predict an even dimmer reception from the Catholic relatives.

Besides, seeing two lovers wash each other’s feet doesn’t have quite the same “sign value” as two priests washing each other’s feet, if you get my meaning. It would be a moment that would be intimate to the point of being way too intimate. Some things are better left to the imagination.
 
I would say that if foot washing is something you want as part of your wedding day it would be best done at the reception.

While there are some cultural adaptations that are allowed at Catholic weddings, they are well established ones. Introducing new traditions for the wedding is NOT encouraged.
 
SMHW said:
I would say that if foot washing is something you want as part of your wedding day it would be best done at the reception.
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I would say if you want foot washing to be part of your wedding day it would be best done after the newly married pair have departed and are private. I think that the symbolism of being willing to serve each other is lovely, but like other gestures between husband and wife does not need to be shared with everyone else.
 
If I saw two people doing footwashing at a wedding, I’d be heavily tempted to start whistling “The Spanish Lady.”

As I went down to Dublin city,
About the hour of twelve at night,
Who should I see but the Spanish Lady,
Washing her feet by candle-light?
First she washed them, then she dried them
Over a fire of amber coal,
In all my life I ne’er did see
A maid so sweet about the sole.

I’d also be having flashbacks to that one Star Trek: The Next Generation episode…
 
jpink1019 said:
Just as the title says. I have been doing some research into catholic weddings. I am not catholic myself but want to know if it would be permissible or unusual to have a foot washing ceremony between the bride and groom as part of the wedding ceremony? Your thoughts?
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The symbolism of the washing of the feet in Catholic liturgy is a reminder of the role of service for the Priesthood. To add something that signifies the priesthood into a wedding celebrating the Sacrament of Matrimony is just odd.

Each part of the Catholic wedding liturgy has a specific meaning. There is no place in the wedding liturgy, even less so if its a nuptial Mass, for a complete change of direction.
 
If the significance of the foot washing is to indicate serving each other, isn’t that what sharing the wedding cake means or should mean? He feeds her a bite and she feeds him.

Considering that the cake thing has turned into smearing each other’s face with it, I’d anticipate that the foot washing will sooner or later dissolve into a water fight.
 
aicirt said:
If the significance of the foot washing is to indicate serving each other, isn’t that what sharing the wedding cake means or should mean? He feeds her a bite and she feeds him.

Considering that the cake thing has turned into smearing each other’s face with it, I’d anticipate that the foot washing will sooner or later dissolve into a water fight.
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Could you imagine? A young bride ends up wet from her waist down. And a young groom, in a rented tux, is soaked because the bride upended the basin over his head.

Great times :rolleyes:

I have already been to a wedding where the bride and groom were fighting. He had smeared the cake all over, including into the lace of her dress. She was not happy and spent an hour in the bathroom trying to get the cake out.

Please, it isn’t part of the wedding, and the last thing we need is something to replace the awful tradition of snagging the garter off of the bridge leg.
 
aicirt said:
If the significance of the foot washing is to indicate serving each other, isn’t that what sharing the wedding cake means or should mean? He feeds her a bite and she feeds him.

Considering that the cake thing has turned into smearing each other’s face with it, I’d anticipate that the foot washing will sooner or later dissolve into a water fight.
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A water fight would be quite the sight on a wedding day.
Deciding if it is meaningful way of showing you will serve your spouse could be a matter of opinion.
But I am grateful for Jawgee’s post. For the husband to symbolically show that he is prepared to self-sacrificially serve his wife in marriage by washing her feet at either a reception or wedding ceremony, is i think wonderful.

However I can see the conflict if in the catholic mass, this kind of gesture has only been known for a special day/purpose, and one that was mostly related to the priesthood?
Does this mean then most catholics would find this gesture odd in a wedding ceremony?
 
aicirt said:
If the significance of the foot washing is to indicate serving each other, isn’t that what sharing the wedding cake means or should mean? He feeds her a bite and she feeds him.

Considering that the cake thing has turned into smearing each other’s face with it, I’d anticipate that the foot washing will sooner or later dissolve into a water fight.
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Ugghhh… the awful thing is that I could definately see that transpiring. 😦

We were wed by a very strict faithful priest from Rome and he would not let us use any music that weren’t traditional mass music, nor use a unity candle.

I did present Mary with flowers with both of my sisters either side of me… I loved that. We also gave flowers to our own mothers directly after doing that… loved that too.

Our wedding was perfect, I have to say sticking to the traditions in my opinion will result in the perfect wedding. I don’t think feet washing is necessary, just as I don’t think the unity candle or sand pouring is… we already have the vows and the rings 🙂
 
I am sometimes surprised by some responses on here.
I think it is understandable that some people might feel that a traditional catholic ceremony without anything added extra is more than adequate.
I also didn’t know that offering flowers to mary was something done before in catholic weddings?
 
jpink1019 said:
A water fight would be quite the sight on a wedding day.
Deciding if it is meaningful way of showing you will serve your spouse could be a matter of opinion.
But I am grateful for Jawgee’s post. For the husband to symbolically show that he is prepared to self-sacrificially serve his wife in marriage by washing her feet at either a reception or wedding ceremony, is i think wonderful.

However I can see the conflict if in the catholic mass, this kind of gesture has only been known for a special day/purpose, and one that was mostly related to the priesthood?
Does this mean then most catholics would find this gesture odd in a wedding ceremony?
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Yes, I’d find it odd and way over the top. It already belongs with another sacrament. And what is with the man washing just the woman’s feet? She doesn’t serve him too?

Let’s see: bride slips off slipper and man washes feet. Then woman, in full gown and veil, gets down, removes groom’s shoes and socks and washes his feet, dries them and then puts on his socks and shoes. Ain’t happening.

I don’t know why anyone things anything else is required besides the wedding vows. That pretty well sums up the sacrifice both will be offering to each other.
 
aicirt said:
Yes, I’d find it odd and way over the top. It already belongs with another sacrament. And what is with the man washing just the woman’s feet? She doesn’t serve him too?

Let’s see: bride slips off slipper and man washes feet. Then woman, in full gown and veil, gets down, removes groom’s shoes and socks and washes his feet, dries them and then puts on his socks and shoes. Ain’t happening.

I don’t know why anyone things anything else is required besides the wedding vows. That pretty well sums up the sacrifice both will be offering to each other.
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I could suppose that with the high rate of divorce in america, some people feel that they want more put into their ceremony besides the wedding vows, since many have taken their vows but not kept them? Maybe some people want to express their commitment in more than one way.

I had a friend who had a foot washing ceremony at her wedding and it was lovely and humbling. However it was not a catholic ceremony.
 
jpink1019 said:
I also didn’t know that offering flowers to mary was something done before in catholic weddings?
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Really? It’s very prominent where I am from. I personally loved it… I remember kneeling in front of Her and literally begging that She helps me be a good wife and mother, as She was. Looking back on it now I smile as I was literally begging! :rolleyes:

I still ask Her for this a lot. My husbands not Catholic but I have seen grooms also visit St. Joseph. I love that too.
 
jpink1019 said:
I could suppose that with the high rate of divorce in america, some people feel that they want more put into their ceremony besides the wedding vows, since many have taken their vows but not kept them? Maybe some people want to express their commitment in more than one way.
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Isn’t that what the rings are for though? The rings are not necessary, they are merely a symbol of commitment to each other… just as the unity candle, feet washing etc. I disagree with too many symbols of the same thing. The vows are what actually unite the couple, regardless of what other feel/think.
 
FullOfThought said:
Isn’t that what the rings are for though? The rings are not necessary, they are merely a symbol of commitment to each other… just as the unity candle, feet washing etc. I disagree with too many symbols of the same thing. The vows are what actually unite the couple, regardless of what other feel/think.
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It was a possible answer for those couples, catholic or not, who do have these extra traditions in their ceremony.
It seems as though quite a few people have stated the same answer here-- that a foot washing ceremony might be out of place because there was already a place for that in the catholic mass?
 
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