For a lost soul

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AllahYsa3ed

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That lost soul is me.

About a decade ago, I was in uni and some friends turned on me. The details are not important. What is significant is that I turned inwardly to myself. I am Lebanese–as are they–and I stopped attending all Lebanese functions so as to avoid them. So many of our functions centre on Church that I stopped attending.

Not long after, my health took a turn for the worse, likely spurred by the onslaught of depression caused by what my friends did. I gained weight and my hair began to fall out. I later found out that I have PCOS–can’t have children (well, not easily) in addition to a slew of other symptoms. This too is not important. What is important is that I stayed turned inward, hiding a body that had gone so far out of my control that I only deepened my depression.

So where am I now? I haven’t been to Church in ten years. I have almost no hair left and plenty of extra pounds. And the news that I might not be able to have children planted a seed of darkness in me. That seed has grown into quite the defensive, self-deprecating humour. It is now easier to convince people that I have always hated the idea of marriage and kids than to admit that I so hate myself that I feel like no one loves me, including God.

I don’t pray anymore–I just get pissed at Him. And I want to badly to go back to Him but I am so angry at Him for making me into this hateful, ugly thing that I can’t find my way back. I know, logically, that it wasn’t Him but this is easier to believe. The old me would never have believed this.

I need prayers so that I might first go back to Him. Health and all of that can come second. I need to know the way to Him and to the One True Church again. Please.

Pray for me to be able to pray. Pray for me to muster up the courage to back to Church. Pray for my health–please, I want my hair and a husband to love, children to love. Pray for me to have the ability to say that to people in my life, instead of on a Catholic forum. Pray for me to love life again, because every day of the last ten years has been an exercise meant solely to prevent me from inviting death into my life.

I am desperate. Please show me God is there with your prayers.
 
I apologize if this here sounds rude, I don’t intend for it to sound that way. I just want to give you some of my favorite bible quotes; I suggest you take them to heart:

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” - Isaiah 40:31

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” - Proverbs 3: 5-6

“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” - Psalms 37:4

Through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary:

[May **AllahYsa3ed be granted direction and guidance in life]

Hail, Mary! Full of grace, The Lord is with thee; Blessed art thou among women, And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, Pray for us sinners, Now, and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Hail, Holy Queen, Mother of mercy, our life, our sweetness, and our hope. To you do we cry, poor banished children of Eve. To you do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears. Turn, then, most gracious advocate, your eyes of mercy toward us, and after this, our exile show unto us the blessed fruit of your womb, Jesus. O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.
Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God, that we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ. Amen.

:signofcross:

God bless
 
I will think of you all day and pray for you! Remember if you feel any thing is doing this to you it would be Satan not God!!! Don’t believe the lies. You are special, beautiful regardless of your appearance. Look in the mirror today and decide enough is enough. Satan loves to make people pity themselves then they blame God. Take the bull by the horns and change your life starting now! Be the blessing that you are to others and start the ball rolling.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†
 
Lord, please hear this cry of AllahYsa3ed, that this soul be drawn toward your Sacred Heart, now unto eternity. Grant this soul many graces to bear the many crosses in life, and lead this soul through every suffering and joy in union with your Passion. Send anggels to help with this cause. Have mercy, Lord. Our Lady, pray with us. Amen.
 
Sometimes the word of God contains what we need to ask. I found the following passage to be the prayer my soul was wanting to ask of God to help me come back to Him, or Him to come back to me. Either way…

*For I will take you away from among the nations, gather you from all the foreign lands, and bring you back to your own land. *
*I will sprinkle clean water upon you to cleanse you from all your impurities, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. *
*I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you, taking from your bodies your stony hearts and giving you natural hearts. *
*I will put my spirit within you and make you live by my statutes, careful to observe my decrees. *
You shall live in the land I gave your fathers; you shall be my people, and I will be your God. Ezekiel 36:24

Believe Him, and God will “restore the years the locusts have eaten” (Joel 2:25)

O Holy Spirit we ask that you guide your lost child back to the heavenly Father where you await the return with open arms. And on that day you will celebrate the return of you beloved child, may we also join in celebration and thanks that day.

Amen!
 
I’ll pray for your physical and spiritual health. God bless you! 🙂
 
Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us.
Christ hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
God the Father of Heaven,
Have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,
Have mercy on us.
God the Holy Spirit,
Have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, One God,
Have mercy on us.
Holy Mary, Queen of Angels, pray for us.
Saint Raphael, pray for us.
Saint Raphael, filled with the mercy of God, etc.
Saint Raphael, perfect adorer of the Divine Word,
Saint Raphael, terror of demons,
Saint Raphael, exterminator of vices,
Saint Raphael, health of the sick,
Saint Raphael, our refuge in all our trials,
Saint Raphael, guide of travelers,
Saint Raphael, consoler of prisoners,
Saint Raphael, joy of the sorrowful,
Saint Raphael, filled with zeal for the salvation of souls,
Saint Raphael, whose name means God heals,
Saint Raphael, lover of chastity,
Saint Raphael, scourge of demons,
Saint Raphael, in pestilence, famine and war,
Saint Raphael, angel of peace and prosperity,
Saint Raphael, endowed with the grace of healing,
Saint Raphael, sure guide in the paths of virtue and sanctification,
Saint Raphael, help of all those who implore your assistance,
Saint Raphael, who was the guide and consolation of Tobias on his journey,
Saint Raphael, whom the Scriptures praise: Raphael, the holy angel of the Lord, was sent to cure,
Saint Raphael, our advocate,
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,
Spare us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,
Graciously hear us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world,
Have mercy on us.
Christ, hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
Pray for us, Saint Raphael, to the Lord Our God,
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ
Lord, Jesus Christ, by the prayer of the Archangel Raphael, grant us the grace to avoid all sin and to persevere in every good work until we reach our heavenly destination, You Who lives and reigns world without end. Amen.
 
I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE SPECIAL AND HAVE A PURPOSE IN THIS WORLD! DONT LET SATAN FOOL YOU. DONT GIVE UP. EVER. TRUST IN ME … ALWAYS AND YOU WILL HAVE PEACE LOVE AND JOY AS WELL AS ETERNAL LIFE!

I was going through something very much like you in terms of feeling hopeless. God always reminded me of what I wrote above,and slowly but surely, my life turned around! The more I trusted, the more I loved, the more I have of myself to others, the more He gave me in hope, peace and joy!

He will provide this for you as well!

God bless you! There is a great family in your future if that is your calling.
 
My prayers can’t show you God is there, and that He loves you, but hopefully they will please the Lord to continue to give you grace enough to open your heart to trust in Him. Please feel free to look around this website and forum for an answer to this or that major question you may have; you are neither alone in terms of having folks pray for you, nor for having folks who will be willing to do the intellectual work with you.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and in the hour of our death. Amen.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
 
Praying for you from today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

Psalm-prayer

All-powerful Father, the refuge and strength of your people, you protect in adversity and defend in prosperity those who put their trust in you. May they persevere in seeking your will and find their way to you through obedience.

Amen
 
***Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

:crossrc:
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

:crossrc:
 
Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

:crossrc:
 
:gopray:

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Your Name
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the Kingdom
and the Power
and the Glory for ever and ever.
Amen.

Ave Maria, gratia plena,
Dominus tecum,
benedicta tu in mulieribus,
et benedictus fructus ventris tui Iesus.
Sancta Maria mater Dei,
ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae.
Amen

:gopray:
 
Heavenly Father, I know AllahYsa3ed is close to despair. She feels so tempted to give up, to withdraw from life and religion and let the world simply carry her along.
Everything seems so meaningless and nothing appeals to her better instincts.
Help AllahYsa3ed to remember that Jesus gave meaning to everything in the world.
Let her bank on that fact and get over this time of despair,
to really believe in the depths of her being that there is a reason for living.
Show her the reason for life and tell her what she must do.
Bring home to her that she is never alone, but that You are with her even in the depths of despair. Remind her that no matter what she may endure now,
an unending joy awaits her in the future if she will but cling tightly to You
and your Son Jesus in the unity of the Spirit. Amen.
 
Christ lead this soul back to you!
Protect, strengthen, and guide this person and grant her the courage, confidence and eyes to see her beauty!

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Eternal God in whom mercy is endless and treasury of compassion inexhaustible
Look kindly upon us and increase your mercy in us
So that in difficult moments we may not despair nor become despondent
But with great confidence submit ourselves to your holy will
Which is love and mercy in itself.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

:crossrc:
 
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