For All Fathers

[ryecroft]

Hi there- I wrote a thread about asking advice on how to get my husband excited and supportive of me finally having the Doctors say that it would be alright for us to try to get pregnant again. (I have kidney disease and have had multiple pregnancies but none that ended in having a baby. Now the docs say they think I’m well enough to try again.)

So please you fathers out there - especially those who’s wives were on birth control or had put off trying to have kids because of career and those that were not excited at all about the idea of trying to have a child/get your wife pregnant-what was it that did get you excited and wanting your wife to get pregnant/have a child (prior to her conceiving)?

Thanks for your answers!

Sincerely,
Ryecroft AKA Annie

 

[purplesunshine]

I’m not a guy, nor a dad, but I’m going to reiterate my uncle’s feelings. I know that guys can be very sensitive to pain and be very over-protective of their wives to detriment of a baby. He’s probably not only not excited but very scared that he could loose you, or that he’d get attached to a child who dies before he’s able to be a dad. Men can feel that a woman is a mother at the moment of conception, but men are not dads until they can hold their children.

You probably can’t say much to ease his feelings, but having another man he likes talk to him would probably go a great way into easing his anxiety. You may even try counseling.

For his sake, I’d consult a second opinion about when its safe for you to have children, and work with a dr to have a plan about what meds, when and other variables that come up during pregnancy when you have an existing disease. The “game plan” as well as reassurance helped my uncle the most. They now have 4 wonderful kids, whom he adores.

 

[ryecroft]

Believe me, as far as the docs go, the only doctor I only have two other doctors to go to - one is kind of a back up and the other is a fertility specialist. My pain management team and kidney docs have done a pretty good job of coordinating meds and information. The fertility specialist is just one that one doctor mentioned to go to. We are going to be doing the fertility at home kit for men and women - also there is an ova cue on its way (it helps with testing your enzymes to tell you when you are ovulating and fertile - or at least when you will be- it’s something like 98.3% accurate which is a lot better than trying to figure out what kind of vaginal mucous you have- it even stores the information and you can have it make a chart on your computer to see what’s going on with the cycle and when you’re most fertile - there are some that use it to help with NFP (leaving little or no question to what they’re testing about) - and others that use it to try to conceive - it tests both mucous and vaginal mucous.) Anyway, I have plenty of doctors on board - that’s why we were so supprized - we never thought we’d get more than one or two doctors behind us. Thanks!