For an Upcoming Confession

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Antonius_Lupus

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Dear brother and sisters,

I regret to say that I lost a battle with my addiction yesterday and I fell backwards. This time was different though. I am happy (oddly) that immediately after the high passed I was overcome with shame and regret. This helps me to believe that God is at work in me.

That doesn’t, though, make the feeling any better. I felt very sorry and bitter yesterday as carried the weight of my guilt. What bothers me most is that I had been making incredible progress, but yesterday I chose to submit to the temptation. Still this falling was different.

I feel like this time, there is no difficulty in getting back on my feet. I made a mistake yesterday, I failed and died. But unlike before, now I feel hope. I have hope and the assurance that come Saturday when I confess my sins, I will be able to stand again and start over. I don’t doubt God’s Mercy, but I do doubt my own “ability” to receive His mercy. In the end though, I am sorry for what I have done, although, I can’t say the submission was not enjoyable. I am firmly committed to amending my life, although I doubt my dedication.

Hmm, perhaps it is time to stop doubting myself, and instead to trust in the power of my Lover’s work in me.

I write this post primarily to ask for a specific prayer intention: ***Please pray, my brethren in the Faith, that I may be truly sorry and repentant, and that I may make a good confession and be healed. ***

I am so thankful for your prayers.

Peace be unto you!

-Antonius Ioannes
 
That was a beautiful post. I’ve been exactly where you are and know that it’s very crucial to go to confession and start over. I will pray for you to make a good confession and to overcome your struggle. God be with you and take this hope into confession and after…
 
I thank God that you are truly sorry and repentant, trusting in God’s merciful love;
and I ask Him that you may make a good confession and be healed.

God bless you! 🙂
 
+JMJTJ+
You will be in my prayers.
*Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us, and increase Your mercy in us, so that in difficult moments we might not despair, nor become despondent, but with great confidence, submit ourselves to Your Holy Will, which is Love and Mercy itself. Amen
*
 
Thank you all, my confession will be tommorow between 3:30 to 4:30 Eastern time.

Please do not forget your little brother. :signofcross:
 
Update:

Dear brethren,

Well, I just came back from confession, and I feel lousy. Prior to the confession I agonized over whether I was even sorry for my sins. I couldn’t find and answer, and I am still looking for one.

Here is what I concluded prior to confession:
  1. I wanted God’s forgiveness.
  2. I knew I had committed mortal sin and I was prepared to confess it all.
  3. I was more than willing to start over and live to my utmost for Christ.
BUT, I wasn’t sure if I had “sorrow for the sin committed.” To be honest, I don’t know if I even know what this means. I mean, the Catholic Church teaches that we must be sorry for our sins if the sacrament of Confession is to be valid. How do I know if I am sorry for my sins?

As far as I can tell, I made a good confession. I didn’t knowingly hide anything. However I am not sure if I am sorry or not.

I eventually concluded that I was sorry that I had committed the sins that I committed because (please try to follow me here) I was now having doubts about whether I was sorry. Thus, I was sorry for the sins because after committing the sins I doubted whether I was sorry. (Get that?).

My pastor gave me absolution and I did my penance, and I am resolved to live for Christ as I have never done before (very, very hard). But I still doubt whether I was sorry for my sins…and thus, whether I made a valid sacramental confession or not.

Grrrr, I hate it when I get tied up in knots like this. I have spoken to God about it but the best way I can explain how I am feeling right now is like I am being choked by doubt.

I figure there are two possibilities:

A. I was not sorry for my sins and made an invalid confession and the frantic, strangled state I am in is caused by still having guilt on my soul

OR

B. I was sorry (whether I “felt” sorry or not), and made a valid confession and was healed, but the Evil One is stealing the joy of this truth from me through a weapon of doubt.

Now, I can tell you that if I was sure that the answer was A, then I would be begging the priest to hear my confession again. But as of now, I am not “sure” of either proposition.

In the end, I kinda feel like spurning the Catholic Church’s whole “technicality” thing with regard to valid or invalid confessions and just clinging to the Bible verse that says:

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will cleanse us of all unrighteousness.”

Sounds simple doesn’t it?

I really feel alone. I feel as though someone is going to tell me that “Well, only you can know if you are truly sorry.” Malarky! I have no clue right now!

-Anthony John
 
Prayers promised for a good confession and response to its healing grace
 
Praying for you, myself (struggling with the same sin) and all Christians that we may be receptive to the graces of Confession and that we may learn to be other centered as Christ teaches and stop sins against our sexuality.
 
Antonius_Lupus said:
A. I was not sorry for my sins and made an invalid confession and the frantic, strangled state I am in is caused by still having guilt on my soul
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If I am wrong here, I would like to be corrected but I believe your case comes under the imperfect contrition act Antonious in that If we commit a mortal sin and go to confession with only imperfect contrition, the sin IS forgiven anyway. This imperfect contrition can only be forgiven in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. So basically, your confession was not invalid if you truly weren’t sorry for your sins yet said them because of the other reasons listed.
Contrition

The detestation of sin arise from the love of God, Who has been grievously offended, then contrition is termed perfect;

1453 The contrition called “imperfect” (or “attrition”) is also a gift of God, a prompting of the Holy Spirit. It is born of the consideration of sin’s ugliness or the fear of eternal damnation and the other penalties threatening the sinner (contrition of fear). Such a stirring of conscience can initiate an interior process which, under the prompting of grace, will be brought to completion by sacramental absolution. By itself however, imperfect contrition cannot obtain the forgiveness of grave sins, but it disposes one to obtain forgiveness in the sacrament of Penance.52

scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c2a4.htm#VII
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****And as to that imperfect contrition which is called attrition, because it is commonly conceived either from the consideration of the turpitude of sin or from the fear of hell and of punishment, the council declares that if with the hope of pardon, it excludes the wish to sin, it not only does not make man a hyprocrite and a greater sinner, but that it is even a gift of God, and an impulse of the Holy Spirit, who does not indeed as yet dwell in the penitent, but who only moves him whereby the penitent, being assisted, prepares a way for himself unto Justice, and although this attrition cannot of itself, without the Sacrament of Penance, conduct the sinner to justification yet does it dispose him to receive the grace of God in the Sacrament of Penance. For smitten profitably with fear, the Ninivites at the preaching of Jonas did fearful penance and obtained mercy from Lord.

newadvent.org/cathen/02065a.htm
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I can’t edit it seems after few hours of my last post but I made a huge wording error in it. I said it was not valid but I meant it was valid.
So basically, your confession was invalid if you truly weren’t sorry for your sins yet said them because of the other reasons listed.
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I’m sorry you’re feeling alone.

I want to first just say that your level of faith is a gift from God and very admirable.

Secondly, I want to convey something very simple: Don’t worry.

That’s it. After you read this post. You’re not allowed to worry about whether or not the Confession was valid. Doubt will come back, yes. But guess what: ultimately it isn’t your decision to judge whether or not you were truly sorry. It’s God’s. You are not God. I am not God. We are sinners who have to let Him be God, and us be us.

I have struggled with similar doubts and want to tell you that the fact that you went to Confession and prepared in a good way shows a sorrow for what you did. Especially the fact that you mentioned you wanted to amend your life.

Padre Pio said: “Pray, Hope, and don’t worry!” and he had a LOT to worry about! Holes in his hands, the devil physically attacking him, Church officials skeptical of his state, sanctions on when and where he could say Mass…yikes! And for him to say that, it dwarfs our problems immensely (perspective wise; I’m not saying it makes them any less important).

Prayers for you.
 
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