T
The_Truthinator
Guest
Shalom.
I’ve been, well, utterly confused lately. You see, I’ve really been looking into Catholicism a lot, and it has for me a great deal of appeal, but at the same time, even though I live very close to a local parish, I do not think it provides the ideal community for me, and this is an essential part of conversion: finding a suitable church home. What’s more, it seems like I agree with every doctrine but transubstantiation, the “source” and “summit” of the faith! My views on the subject range more towards memorialism or consubstantiation. This has been a serious hindrance for me.
Recently, a friend of mine and I went to a non-denominational, semi-charismatic church–Word of Life. His friend, who blows me away, is the pastor’s son. The place is decidedly smaller than our other church, but I have seen this only as a good thing: I honestly have not come across a single person who did not amaze me in his/her joy and excitement and enthusiasm over Christ. The Sunday school teacher there, Pastor Peter, I could tell was very open-minded, and I knew him to be in touch very well with the Holy Spirit. For whatever reason, I’d walked into the church, bringing my concerns and problems with me, and I felt at the time very unabsolved. I asked him if I could speak to him after the class, and he said yes.
When it was just Justin (another adult teacher), him, Seth (my new friend, the head pastor’s son) and my other friend, I began to tell him what was going on. I told him that I had a burden which was going to make no allowance for worship, and I asked him if I could confess to him and if he’d forgive me. I didn’t know what reaction to expect. At my Baptist church, I know I would have been reprimanded. “Of course,” he said. I was so relieved! I got down on my knees and began spilling out everything that came to my mind at the time. He forgave me, and I felt like I’d been eased, like I’d been truly forgiven, and like I’d become closer with everyone in that room at the time.
Talking further with everyone, Peter recommended at the altar call I come down and they’d pray over me. Jeremy (the youth pastor who’d gone with us to an Underoath concert not long before) came up to pray over me, looked me in the eyes, and said, “God is speaking a word to me right now–really strongly, too. It’s ‘confusion.’ What are you confused about?” I was blown away. Everyone there was so invasive, and I loved it! It was astounding, the best community by-far that I’d found.
Yet there was a problem: It didn’t call itself infallible, which should have been normative of the true Church, it didn’t provide the Eucharist, without which I feared something terrible … Simultaneously I doubted the Catholic definition of both these things.
For high school I plan on attending an excellent school (a Catholic school of great renown), and if indeed God was calling me into the Catholic Church, it would easily be the best decision to start Catechism as soon as possible, as it would help my family tremendously financially. But what if he isn’t? I can’t help but feel like Our Lady of the Lake isn’t an adequate home for me. I can’t help but feel like though it offers everything else, Word of Life cannot give me the Sacraments I so desperately need.
I’m scared, I admit. Confused. My mom will not support a decision to join your church, but I wish to please God and not people. I do not wish, either, to abandon this new fellowship I’ve found. Brothers! Sisters! What should I do?
I thought that perhaps I might attend WoL on Sundays, Mass on Saturdays, but I’m beginning to think a Charismatic Catholic church might be the best option for Mass. Please, can someone tell me, Is it different than just typical Catholic churches, more lively, more ‘in touch’ with the Spirit, so to speak?
Please pray on my behalf. I’ve been neglecting the Word a lot at this most critical time, and I know it is my answer. Please help me here. I want faith, I want a home, but I want most of all what God wills.
I’ve been, well, utterly confused lately. You see, I’ve really been looking into Catholicism a lot, and it has for me a great deal of appeal, but at the same time, even though I live very close to a local parish, I do not think it provides the ideal community for me, and this is an essential part of conversion: finding a suitable church home. What’s more, it seems like I agree with every doctrine but transubstantiation, the “source” and “summit” of the faith! My views on the subject range more towards memorialism or consubstantiation. This has been a serious hindrance for me.
Recently, a friend of mine and I went to a non-denominational, semi-charismatic church–Word of Life. His friend, who blows me away, is the pastor’s son. The place is decidedly smaller than our other church, but I have seen this only as a good thing: I honestly have not come across a single person who did not amaze me in his/her joy and excitement and enthusiasm over Christ. The Sunday school teacher there, Pastor Peter, I could tell was very open-minded, and I knew him to be in touch very well with the Holy Spirit. For whatever reason, I’d walked into the church, bringing my concerns and problems with me, and I felt at the time very unabsolved. I asked him if I could speak to him after the class, and he said yes.
When it was just Justin (another adult teacher), him, Seth (my new friend, the head pastor’s son) and my other friend, I began to tell him what was going on. I told him that I had a burden which was going to make no allowance for worship, and I asked him if I could confess to him and if he’d forgive me. I didn’t know what reaction to expect. At my Baptist church, I know I would have been reprimanded. “Of course,” he said. I was so relieved! I got down on my knees and began spilling out everything that came to my mind at the time. He forgave me, and I felt like I’d been eased, like I’d been truly forgiven, and like I’d become closer with everyone in that room at the time.
Talking further with everyone, Peter recommended at the altar call I come down and they’d pray over me. Jeremy (the youth pastor who’d gone with us to an Underoath concert not long before) came up to pray over me, looked me in the eyes, and said, “God is speaking a word to me right now–really strongly, too. It’s ‘confusion.’ What are you confused about?” I was blown away. Everyone there was so invasive, and I loved it! It was astounding, the best community by-far that I’d found.
Yet there was a problem: It didn’t call itself infallible, which should have been normative of the true Church, it didn’t provide the Eucharist, without which I feared something terrible … Simultaneously I doubted the Catholic definition of both these things.
For high school I plan on attending an excellent school (a Catholic school of great renown), and if indeed God was calling me into the Catholic Church, it would easily be the best decision to start Catechism as soon as possible, as it would help my family tremendously financially. But what if he isn’t? I can’t help but feel like Our Lady of the Lake isn’t an adequate home for me. I can’t help but feel like though it offers everything else, Word of Life cannot give me the Sacraments I so desperately need.
I’m scared, I admit. Confused. My mom will not support a decision to join your church, but I wish to please God and not people. I do not wish, either, to abandon this new fellowship I’ve found. Brothers! Sisters! What should I do?
I thought that perhaps I might attend WoL on Sundays, Mass on Saturdays, but I’m beginning to think a Charismatic Catholic church might be the best option for Mass. Please, can someone tell me, Is it different than just typical Catholic churches, more lively, more ‘in touch’ with the Spirit, so to speak?
Please pray on my behalf. I’ve been neglecting the Word a lot at this most critical time, and I know it is my answer. Please help me here. I want faith, I want a home, but I want most of all what God wills.
Will you pray for me? I must make use of the great prayer I found in Mark 9:27: “I believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”