For communication with my spouse

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louisak

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I would like to ask for prayers for my wife and myself. I need to have a talk with her tonight after dinner. There have been some situations in the family which have flared up recently causing stress and anger… much of it is due to her behavior (primarily regarding the way she talks to the kids) but she is unable or unwilling to recognize this. I have sometimes tried to point out certain things to her, but she usually gets defensive and upset, so much of the time I just cop out and don’t say anything.

Now however I can’t evade it any more - I am rather stressed myself just thinking about the things that I need to tell her. I expect that she will go in denial as usual, get angry or else start crying. But I can’t put this off any longer.

Prayers are appreciated. I wish I had posted this earlier today, but I only just thought of it.

Thanks and God bless you all.
 
Prayers for you and your wife regarding your conversation. May it be fruitful. May you show mutual understanding. May your wife be receptive to your comments and love, forgiveness and most of all Christ be the cornerstone of your marriage.

Mary.
 
louisak said:
I would like to ask for prayers for my wife and myself. I need to have a talk with her tonight after dinner. There have been some situations in the family which have flared up recently causing stress and anger… much of it is due to her behavior (primarily regarding the way she talks to the kids) but she is unable or unwilling to recognize this. I have sometimes tried to point out certain things to her, but she usually gets defensive and upset, so much of the time I just cop out and don’t say anything. Now however I can’t evade it any more - I am rather stressed myself just thinking about the things that I need to tell her. I expect that she will go in denial as usual, get angry or else start crying. But I can’t put this off any longer. Prayers are appreciated. I wish I had posted this earlier today, but I only just thought of it. Thanks and God bless you all.
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Been there more times than I like to remember brother.

If only men could summon tears on demand…it’d make stuff like this go a lot better. Women understand tears.

I’m praying for you…
 
Womenhood 101

Women, in general, have a built in propensity to try to meet EVERYONE’S needs before their own. This leads to them not having any time or energy to meet their most basic needs. It often leads to them feeling, exhausted, angry, resentful, and overwhelmed! That’s when they morph from the loving, kind mommy, they dreamed of being, into Super B*%ch. While we need our Husbands to call us on our bad behavior, We rarely welcome it. I would ask her why she’s acting out, and let her vent! Sometimes our fears about life, are much worse than the reality. Stating our worst fears often greatly dimishes their intensity. Let her know you support her meeting her needs, and want to help her feel better! Talking about it may help bring her stress level waaaay down.

Women often feel every thing is out of control, when there are too many issues they are dealing with simultaneously. Like how computers used to slow down or even stop working when too many window where open at the same time. Men are generally good at compartmentalizing life. Women aren’t. Are there many stressors hanging over her head? Things needing to get done? Offer to help close some of those windows by, ie fixing the car, taking over an issue with the kids…, doing a chore, or assigning them to the children…

Knowing you support her, and forgive her for being witchy, will go a long ways towards helping her decide to do better! She needs to hear that things will get better! She needs to hear that you will work together to make things better. She needs HOPE.

Also if she has truely mistreated the children verbally, or other wise, I would encourage her to ask for their forgiveness. This will help to heal their relationship, and also drive home to her heart that, despite being imperfect, She needs to be a good example, respectful, and loving to her children! She’ll like herself much better, when She is 🙂

I will pray for you! May God bless, and lead your efforts to heal your family. May God give you the words, and proper attitude to deal with this in a loving manner. May God give you all repentant hearts. May God send your family abundant Graces!
 
Regina_Love said:
Womenhood 101 Women, in general, have a built in propensity to try to meet EVERYONE’S needs before their own. This leads to them not having any time or energy to meet their most basic needs. It often leads to them feeling, exhausted, angry, resentful, and overwhelmed! That’s when they morph from the loving, kind mommy, they dreamed of being, into Super B*%ch. While we need our Husbands to call us on our bad behavior, We rarely welcome it. I would ask her why she’s acting out, and let her vent! Sometimes our fears about life, are much worse than the reality. Stating our worst fears often greatly dimishes their intensity. Let her know you support her meeting her needs, and want to help her feel better! Talking about it may help bring her stress level waaaay down. Women often feel every thing is out of control, when there are too many issues they are dealing with simultaneously. Like how computers used to slow down or even stop working when too many window where open at the same time. Men are generally good at compartmentalizing life. Women aren’t. Are there many stressors hanging over her head? Things needing to get done? Offer to help close some of those windows by, ie fixing the car, taking over an issue with the kids…, doing a chore, or assigning them to the children… Knowing you support her, and forgive her for being witchy, will go a long ways towards helping her decide to do better! She needs to hear that things will get better! She needs to hear that you will work together to make things better. She needs HOPE. Also if she has truely mistreated the children verbally, or other wise, I would encourage her to ask for their forgiveness. This will help to heal their relationship, and also drive home to her heart that, despite being imperfect, She needs to be a good example, respectful, and loving to her children! She’ll like herself much better, when She is 🙂 I will pray for you! May God bless, and lead your efforts to heal your family. May God give you the words, and proper attitude to deal with this in a loving manner. May God give you all repentant hearts. May God send your family abundant Graces!
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Jeez…that’s a 100 level course?

I’m screwed…
 
Armor_of_Light said:
Jeez…that’s a 100 level course?

I’m screwed…
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:rotfl::rotfl::bigyikes::nope:

No, that’s a 300-level course.

Here’s Women 101.

Buy us flowers. Not just on occasions, but randomly. Do stuff like add windshield wiper fluid to our cars. Put air in our tires for us. Compliment us - tell us our hair is pretty, or that color really brings out our eyes. Hug us and touch us without expecting sex in return. Tell us we’re a fabulous cook. Or the best mom, or a great wife. Respect us, and tell us that you do. And be a MAN - sweep us off our feet every once in a while, be strong, yet tender.

And, kill any bugs in the house.

you pass.
 
Thanks to everyone for the prayers. We haven’t actually had The Talk yet, I think it will happen over the weekend.

I have been thinking a lot about the recent incidents and something dawned on me, I was able to mentally connect the dots. My wife has a strong sense of responsibility for her family members - not only for me and the kids but her parents and siblings. This is a good thing in a way, but she tends to worry and stress when someone in the family is having problems, or (especially in the case of the kids) she **thinks **there are problems. The worry and stress get into her voice… and when she is talking to the kids, it sounds to them as if she is angry. Then their feelings get hurt, and misunderstandings arise, and sometimes hurt feelings on her part, because she feels that everyone else is labelling her the “monster” of the family because she is always yelling at them - or so they perceive it.

This is what I am going to discuss with her. I hope that if she can understand and accept this insight, it will defuse the bad feelings and hope to make for better relationships all around.

Prayers appreciated. Thank you in advance! 🙂
 
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be
done, on earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil. Amen

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee
blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus
Holy Mary mother of God pray for us
sinners now and at the hour of our death
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
 
MaryT777 said:
Prayers for you and your wife regarding your conversation. May it be fruitful. May you show mutual understanding. May your wife be receptive to your comments and love, forgiveness and most of all Christ be the cornerstone of your marriage.

Mary.
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^^^^^^Praying…
 
I am praying that God Bless her and your family that you all may be happy, united, and understanding towards one another especially during this Christmas Season

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,The Lord is with Thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women, and
Blessed is the Fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary Mother of God,
Pray for us Sinners, now and at the our of death. Amen

Keep your head up, Believe Miracles do happen, God Bless you
 
Hail, holy Queen, Mother of mercy,
our life, our sweetness, and our hope.
To you we cry, poor banished children of Eve,
to you we send up our sighs,
mourning and weeping in this valley of tears.
Turn, then, most gracious advocate,
your eyes of mercy toward us,
and after this our exile,
show us the blessed fruit of your womb, Jesus
O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary. Amen.
 
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