For commuters: how long is too long?

[whatevergirl]

My dh and I are discussing moving to a larger house. The main problem is that we can’t afford anything in this area. I’m a SAHM and he works at various factories as a millwright/rigger. His commute can range from 20 minutes to a hour depending on where he is working. Generally, I would say it’s around 45 min each way.

If we move to areas we can afford, his drive would likely increase another hour each way.

What’s your experience with a long commute? Does it affect your family life to a significant level? Would it be better to stay in the little house, but have more time with the family?

We actually found a church (to live in as a family home) that would be pretty cool.

click here

at first, a long commute seems ok…but over time, it gets very old. I would say if you cannot swing the larger home without the larger commute, to stay in a smaller home. I look at my work time starting when I get in the car…so does my dh. We want to be home more with our family, so 1 hour or more each way just takes time away from that. Just my humble opinion.

 

[whatevergirl]

I commuted 40 minutes each way for about six months. Three weeks before my wedding, I switched to an in-town job. I just couldn’t stand the thought of being away from my new husband so much, nor could I justify the cost of gas, vehicle maintenance, etc.

I agree with the posters who are encouraging you to avoid having your husband commute so far. Spending time with our loved ones is far more important than having a big house, extra $$, and the like.

Is it possible to add on to your present house? That could be a great family project, and a good way to spend the time your husband would otherwise spend in the car!

Hope it all works out for your family!

excellent post

 

[vluvski]

I do like that church-house!

OTOH, I found a 45 min commute really took a chunk out of my day. Unless the larger house is a sanity necessity, I’d make the compromise in a different area. Working 8 hours a day is exhausting enough on its own.

The possible exception is swing shift workers on a 12 hour shift where they basically only work half of a month. It’s not as bad when you aren’t driving as often as the typical worker.

 

[gmarie21]

Has anyone commuted to work with their spouses and had their children go to school near their work (when the commute was long)? I went to school with a few kids who’s aunt taught at the school (they lived with their aunt) Their commute was over an hour each way. I was just wondering if sharing a commute with spouse and children is taking away from family time or is just another way of spending time together (I know that it seems like an obvious answer, but it really isn’t when you think of what its like being in a car for an extended period)

 

[whatevergirl]

Has anyone commuted to work with their spouses and had their children go to school near their work (when the commute was long)? I went to school with a few kids who’s aunt taught at the school (they lived with their aunt) Their commute was over an hour each way. I was just wondering if sharing a commute with spouse and children is taking away from family time or is just another way of spending time together (I know that it seems like an obvious answer, but it really isn’t when you think of what its like being in a car for an extended period)

In PA, I commuted with my dh, we left after our kids got on their respective buses…it was great. I miss those days…it was nice to chat with hubby all the way to work…and not have to talk about work (as much lol) at home…and he also enjoyed Relevant Radio!

 

[ltbpoe43]

If you have to take a bio break before you get to work or before you get home - that might be a bit too far.

Good luck

 

[8isgr8]

What’s your experience with a long commute? Does it affect your family life to a significant level? Would it be better to stay in the little house, but have more time with the family?

We bought our first house at a distance of an hour and a quarter from DH’s work, because we could afford it that far out. We moved to be near my family and bought our second house 20 minutes commute from his work, with a significantly larger mortgage.

I would dearly love to have a larger old house on some acreage or in a small town, with a much smaller monthly payment. But as much as I loved where I lived and our first house, yes, the long commute did negatively impact our family life and marriage in ways I couldn’t have guessed, and I would never, never, NEVER sign up for that commute time again.