F
feltmeanings23
Guest
I reverted back to faith after about seven years of being an atheist. I’m starting to have serious doubts again. A lot of it has to do with the doctrine of Hell.
I wish that God never created anyone. I don’t think any amount of people going to heaven makes up for even one human/angelic being going to Hell. Most people go to Hell, but even if it were a small number, I still think it’s a repulsive, disgusting idea. Why couldn’t God just annihilate the soul? If the soul/spirit is indestructible (for some inexplicable reason), then if I were God, I would just stay alone. God is loving. If He never created, then no one would have to miserable forever. No one would be happy forever either, but it’s not like they’re losing out, because they don’t exist. (As an atheist, I was also an antinatalist. I thought it was unempathetic to bring children into a world where they will suffer, and likely horribly).
Because of how I feel about Hell, I honestly want atheism to be true. If I could know that God weren’t real, it would relieve a lot of inner tension. No one has to suffer forever! I think Christianity, if true, is horrible.
Assuming Christianity is true…Is it God that I hate? Or do I just have a problem with the way reality works? Why did reality have to be such that if you don’t make certain choice(s), you have to suffer forever? I hate it. Reality is corrupt down to its core. Is it a sin to think like this?
I’m also having doubts about free will. I don’t feel like I have it. Did I choose my last thought? And the one before that? They just seem to pop up, leave, etc. Satan supposedly rebelled out of pride, but…where did that pride come from? Did it just pop out of nowhere?
I wish that God never created anyone. I don’t think any amount of people going to heaven makes up for even one human/angelic being going to Hell. Most people go to Hell, but even if it were a small number, I still think it’s a repulsive, disgusting idea. Why couldn’t God just annihilate the soul? If the soul/spirit is indestructible (for some inexplicable reason), then if I were God, I would just stay alone. God is loving. If He never created, then no one would have to miserable forever. No one would be happy forever either, but it’s not like they’re losing out, because they don’t exist. (As an atheist, I was also an antinatalist. I thought it was unempathetic to bring children into a world where they will suffer, and likely horribly).
Because of how I feel about Hell, I honestly want atheism to be true. If I could know that God weren’t real, it would relieve a lot of inner tension. No one has to suffer forever! I think Christianity, if true, is horrible.
Assuming Christianity is true…Is it God that I hate? Or do I just have a problem with the way reality works? Why did reality have to be such that if you don’t make certain choice(s), you have to suffer forever? I hate it. Reality is corrupt down to its core. Is it a sin to think like this?
I’m also having doubts about free will. I don’t feel like I have it. Did I choose my last thought? And the one before that? They just seem to pop up, leave, etc. Satan supposedly rebelled out of pride, but…where did that pride come from? Did it just pop out of nowhere?