For I have sinned against you.

[Noelwashere]

I am a 15 year-old teenager, i’m about to be sixteen. Today I have committed a sin. The sin of masterbation. Everytime I pleasure myself, I feel guilt and disappointment within myself. I have been trying to stop for about 9 months now, I haven’t been able to, the most I’ve gone without doing it is 5 months, but one day I was tempted. Then I tried to quit again, but my temptations lead me wrong, I lasted a month. So please, Please keep me in your prayers. and give me advice to stop this sin. I know everyone is struggling. =/

God Bless.
-Noel

 

[camerong]

Do you go to Church regularly? If you don’t, do. And recognize that you cannot receive communion if you have masturbated and failed to confess it. Thus, recognize that every time you masturbate, its not just between you and God, but you MUST confess it. When you are deciding whether to dial up the porn site, or whatever, remember that you will force yourself later to confess this. That has helped to keep me from sinning. Try confessing to the same priest, who has a great deal of experience with your problem.

Go to mass daily, if you can. It will help remind you of your real purpose.

Put a picture of Mary, or Christ crucified, where you normally do it. Put it on the background of your computer. Put them everywhere. You WILL NOT masturbate while Mary is watching.

if you usually use pornography, put x3watch on your computer (x3watch.com/). You can select an accountability partner (PM me if you need one) who receives an e-mail anytime you go to a porn site. Also, do some research into pornography, and learn how wretched and vile it is–how it harms the women, how the stars are beaten, become infected with STDs and HIV. And not just the low-budget, trashy ones–read about Chrissy Moran’s story, how one of the most famous and successful women in porn left the industry after overdosing, trying to kill herself, and many other trials. Consider how it becomes an increasing addiction for anyone involved in it. Think of it not as a dirty pleasure but as a horrible abomination, like human trafficking or slavery. Porn is our modern day slave trade. It ruins the people featured and the people watching.

If you do it elsewhere, like in the shower, start singing a Christian song whenever you feel the desire. I like “Three Wooden Crosses” by Randy Travis–its pretty hard to feel an immoral sexual desire to sin when you’re singing that song (even though its a Protestant song!).

Above all, make a resolution to STOP RIGHT NOW. This is not something you can ween yourself off of. Go, confess your sin, and make a resolution never ever to have to confess this sin again. It is a mortal sin. Recognize that if you get killed in a car accident on the way to confess the sin, your immortal soul could be in jeopardy. Start recognizing what an abomination this is, and treat it likewise.

You will be in my prayers.

 

[teachccd]

A boy of your age even recognizing that this is a sin is remarkable. You will do fine and yes it is a struggle for almost everyone. Talk with your priest and stay close to God in your prayers. Do not despair as God loves you and knows you are trying your best. Focus on all of the positive in your life and see this struggle as a way to rely on Jesus more and more. Noel, I’ll keep you in my prayers. Will you pray for me as well??

 

[Noelwashere]

I do go to church weekly. I went today. But I will find a picture of Mary. I like the YOU WILL NOT! do it infront of Mary part. Thank you. And is it ok to confess the samething over and over again? I have confessed this once. It was like 6 months ago.

 

[Noelwashere]

I will pray for you aswell, but what is your name? xD Oh and isn’t it bad to say something you confessed outside?

 

[teachccd]

Do you go to Church regularly? If you don’t, do. And recognize that you cannot receive communion if you have masturbated and failed to confess it. Thus, recognize that every time you masturbate, its not just between you and God, but you MUST confess it. When you are deciding whether to dial up the porn site, or whatever, remember that you will force yourself later to confess this. That has helped to keep me from sinning. Try confessing to the same priest, who has a great deal of experience with your problem.

Go to mass daily, if you can. It will help remind you of your real purpose.

Put a picture of Mary, or Christ crucified, where you normally do it. Put it on the background of your computer. Put them everywhere. You WILL NOT masturbate while Mary is watching.

if you usually use pornography, put x3watch on your computer (x3watch.com/). You can select an accountability partner (PM me if you need one) who receives an e-mail anytime you go to a porn site. Also, do some research into pornography, and learn how wretched and vile it is–how it harms the women, how the stars are beaten, become infected with STDs and HIV. And not just the low-budget, trashy ones–read about Chrissy Moran’s story, how one of the most famous and successful women in porn left the industry after overdosing, trying to kill herself, and many other trials. Consider how it becomes an increasing addiction for anyone involved in it. Think of it not as a dirty pleasure but as a horrible abomination, like human trafficking or slavery. Porn is our modern day slave trade. It ruins the people featured and the people watching.

If you do it elsewhere, like in the shower, start singing a Christian song whenever you feel the desire. I like “Three Wooden Crosses” by Randy Travis–its pretty hard to feel an immoral sexual desire to sin when you’re singing that song (even though its a Protestant song!).

Above all, make a resolution to STOP RIGHT NOW. This is not something you can ween yourself off of. Go, confess your sin, and make a resolution never ever to have to confess this sin again. It is a mortal sin. Recognize that if you get killed in a car accident on the way to confess the sin, your immortal soul could be in jeopardy. Start recognizing what an abomination this is, and treat it likewise.

You will be in my prayers.

While your intentions are justified, I don’t think that this young man needs a brow beating. He knows that he needs to stop and your last paragraph is a bit harsh. While this is serious matter, Noel may not necessarily be in the state of mortal sin. That is for no one to decide except God and his confessor can help to discern that. I’m sure glad that the Catechism of the Catholic Church is not as harsh as your last paragraph…God bless…teachccd

 

[teachccd]

I will pray for you aswell, but what is your name? xD Oh and isn’t it bad to say something you confessed outside?

Thank you, Noel. I’m not sure of your question about confessing something outside. I choose to just use my username on the forum. God knows who I am..And yes, you can confess whatever you need to even if it is over and over again. Just remember though that each time you go to confession you are telling God that you will not commit that sin again. And you must mean that even though through our weaknesses we continue to fall. That’s why any of us go to confession many many times in our lives…teachccd

 

[teachccd]

I will pray for you aswell, but what is your name? xD Oh and isn’t it bad to say something you confessed outside?

Did you mean talking to a priest outside of the confessional about something that you confessed? You can tell anyone what you confessed even the priest outside the confessional. The priest cannot tell anyone since he is bound by the seal of the sacrament. And the priest cannot bring up anything to you outside of the confessional that you confessed unless you bring it up first. I hope that helps…teachccd

 

[camerong]

I do go to church weekly. I went today. But I will find a picture of Mary. I like the YOU WILL NOT! do it infront of Mary part. Thank you. And is it ok to confess the samething over and over again? I have confessed this once. It was like 6 months ago.

Well, let me say that you should not be OK with routinely doing this and merely confessing it. Confession does not make it OK to sin. But, I think what you mean is that, will he get mad or something if you confess the same thing multiple times? Not at all. We all sin again and again, and we all sin in the same way again and again.

Go to confession ASAP, and the next time you fall, hurry off to confession again. Tell the priest your situation.

Oh, do think of playing only Christian music in the situations where you find yourself doing it (www.pandora.com is a good source, you can find Christian music of all genres that will help keep your head in the right place).

As my signature says, we were born for this (and many other) battles. But Christ’s glory is made perfect in our weakness. This is a very difficult battle, but you have been dully equipped, and you will experience even more Christ’s grace when you win this battle.

Think of this another way: I struggled with certain sins for a long, long time, always asking Christ to fix that sin. But I did not ask, or even really want, Christ to fix MY WHOLE LIFE. He is not interested in fixing this one thing, He is going to tear the whole worldly person down, and make you like a god. In other words, if you find yourself struggling with fixing this, it is probably because you are not giving enough of your life over to him. Are there other areas of your life you may be habitually sinning? Are there other areas you are hiding? If you only work on this sin, it is like turning on the light in a single room and having the a rat running into another room which is still dark. Unless you illuminate the whole house, you can never find, and exterminate, the problem.

And I second the idea that you are very self-aware and gifted to recognize the extent of this problem at such a young age.

 

[Noelwashere]

Like when you confess something to a priest, you may not speak of it again? Like it’s bad to tell others what you have confessed about.

 

[camerong]

While your intentions are justified, I don’t think that this young man needs a brow beating. He knows that he needs to stop and your last paragraph is a bit harsh. While this is serious matter, Noel may not necessarily be in the state of mortal sin. That is for no one to decide except God and his confessor can help to discern that. I’m sure glad that the Catechism of the Catholic Church is not as harsh as your last paragraph…God bless…teachccd

Indeed, I spoke too harshly. However, we should recognize that masturbation is often the first mortal sin people commit. There are probably people for whom masturbation is their only mortal sin. And many people continue to do it because they think its no big deal–I know a number of people who did not stop until they were told it was (likely) a mortal sin. But point taken.

 

[Exalt]

Recognize that you cannot receive communion if you have masturbated and failed to confess it.

This is something you should think about. Your Church is telling you that if you were to, say, masturbate and then get in a car accident, you’re going straight to hell. That’s it. Jesus Christ will condemn you to a lake of fire forever and ever for what? Masturbation.

So here’s what happens. A Catholic teenage boy, like yourself (or like me about 6 or 7 years ago) masturbates. He feels terrible about it. And on Saturday, he goes to confession where *this time *he truly believes that he will never masturbate again. Awesome! You’re in a state of grace! You haven’t committed a mortal sin so you’re home free for heaven! Hanging out with Jesus forever, alright! And then you’ll last until about Monday or Tuesday - or if you’re real good, Wednesday - where you break down and give in. And you’re back in a state of mortal sin. Eternal damnation for all eternity. You will forever languish in the pit of doom, the fires of Gehenna, … until Saturday. On Saturday you confess it, promising to never ever masturbate again, and really mean it!, and find yourself back in a State of Grace once more… until Tuesday. And the cycle will continue for the foreseeable future.

This is ridiculous. But according to the letter of Catholicism, the motivations that form the basis for this behavior are the truth.

Does that really make sense? Would God really set up the world like this? That’s a question that everyone needs to answer for themselves.

 

[camerong]

This is something you should think about. Your Church is telling you that if you were to, say, masturbate and then get in a car accident, you’re going straight to hell. That’s it. Jesus Christ will condemn you to a lake of fire forever and ever for what? Masturbation.

So here’s what happens. A Catholic teenage boy, like yourself (or like me about 6 or 7 years ago) masturbates. He feels terrible about it. And on Saturday, he goes to confession where *this time *he truly believes that he will never masturbate again. Awesome! You’re in a state of grace! You haven’t committed a mortal sin so you’re home free for heaven! Hanging out with Jesus forever, alright! And then you’ll last until about Monday or Tuesday - or if you’re real good, Wednesday - where you break down and give in. And you’re back in a state of mortal sin. Eternal damnation for all eternity. You will forever languish in the pit of doom, the fires of Gehenna, … until Saturday. On Saturday you confess it, promising to never ever masturbate again, and really mean it!, and find yourself back in a State of Grace once more… until Tuesday. And the cycle will continue for the foreseeable future.

This is ridiculous. But according to the letter of Catholicism, the motivations that form the basis for this behavior are the truth.

Does that really make sense? Would God really set up the world like this? That’s a question that everyone needs to answer for themselves.

Why are you posting on a forum called Catholic Answers, on a thread about a teenager asking how he can overcome a sin? Was the truth of the Catholic doctrine of mortal sin at issue here?

No one has said that someone is certainly going to hell if he or she dies with an unconfessed mortal sin. Whether this is the case–or even if a particular act is a mortal sin–is completely up to God, and no Catholic would argue otherwise. Please make an effort to accurately review our doctrine before you attack it.

Please don’t come here to insult our beliefs, completely out of place. If you would like to discuss this in a respectful way, open up a new thread and stop hijacking this one.

 

[Exalt]

Why are you posting on a forum called Catholic Answers, on a thread about a teenager asking how he can overcome a sin? Was the truth of the Catholic doctrine of mortal sin at issue here?

No one has said that someone is certainly going to hell if he or she dies with an unconfessed mortal sin. Whether this is the case–or even if a particular act is a mortal sin–is completely up to God, and no Catholic would argue otherwise. Please make an effort to accurately review our doctrine before you attack it.

Mortal sin is clearly defined in the Catechism as, “result[ing] in the loss of charity and the privation of sanctifying grace, that is, of the state of grace. If it is not redeemed by repentance and God’s forgiveness, it causes exclusion from Christ’s kingdom and the eternal death of hell, for our freedom has the power to make choices for ever, with no turning back.” Mortal sin sends you to hell. That’s the point.

The book goes on to say that, “although we can judge that an act is in itself a grave offense, we must entrust judgment of persons to the justice and mercy of God.” In other words, the Church will never tell you that you’re going to hell, and indeed the Catechism, if I remember it correctly, never says that “X action is a mortal sin.” It does, however, say it is grave matter. Masturbation is one of those things where it says it’s a grave sin, which is one of the three qualifications for mortal sin. And this boy knows he’s complicit with the other two, and so did I when I was his age. He knows it’s a grave sin, obviously, for he feels remorse for it, and he freely does it anyway.

There is, perhaps, no clearer example of mortal sin.

And anyway, are you suggesting that the boy doesn’t go to confession for the mortal sin he believes he committed? I mean, he knows it’s wrong. He did it anyway. Even though we can’t say *for certain *that he’s going to hell, we’re pretty sure because he very plainly met all the requirements in a very clear fashion. Maybe God will save him - but maybe not. There’s no guarantee. But there is a sure-fire way to make his soul clean again, and that’s confession. Go to confession, and *really mean *to never masturbate again, and the mortal sin is wiped away. If Catholicism is true, you’re pretty much on your way to heaven. Until Tuesday, when you masturbate again and then the process continues.

And let me be clear: I don’t mean to make fun of the Catholic position here. But take a step back. I mean, look at it objectively. Don’t you think it’s a little ridiculous? To confess a sin that, though you really don’t want to do again, and you make the conscious decision to never do again … every Saturday, only to do it every single week - again! - whereupon you just go back to the confessional… again! Am I the only one who this strikes as just completely ridiculous? Isn’t there something wrong with what’s happening to - not just this boy but tens of thousands of boys across the nation?

 

[teachccd]

Indeed, I spoke too harshly. However, we should recognize that masturbation is often the first mortal sin people commit. There are probably people for whom masturbation is their only mortal sin. And many people continue to do it because they think its no big deal–I know a number of people who did not stop until they were told it was (likely) a mortal sin. But point taken.

I did not want to undermine the seriousness of this act but I also don’t think that Noel should be put in a place of despair. For a sin to be mortal one must have full knowledge of the serious matter and then give full consent to the act. The “full consent” is what needs to be discerned in the confessional. The Catechism of the Catholic Church explicitly states that there are certain conditions (lack of maturity is one) whereby the gravity is lessened.

Noel is in a place where most 15 year old boys are not and that is where he recognizes that this is a sin and one to be addressed. That is a milestone and needs to be pastorally addressed rather than chastised. God bless…teachccd

 

[teachccd]

Mortal sin is clearly defined in the Catechism as, “result[ing] in the loss of charity and the privation of sanctifying grace, that is, of the state of grace. If it is not redeemed by repentance and God’s forgiveness, it causes exclusion from Christ’s kingdom and the eternal death of hell, for our freedom has the power to make choices for ever, with no turning back.” Mortal sin sends you to hell. That’s the point.

The book goes on to say that, “although we can judge that an act is in itself a grave offense, we must entrust judgment of persons to the justice and mercy of God.” In other words, the Church will never tell you that you’re going to hell, and indeed the Catechism, if I remember it correctly, never says that “X action is a mortal sin.” It does, however, say it is grave matter. Masturbation is one of those things where it says it’s a grave sin, which is one of the three qualifications for mortal sin. And this boy knows he’s complicit with the other two, and so did I when I was his age. He knows it’s a grave sin, obviously, for he feels remorse for it, and he freely does it anyway.

There is, perhaps, no clearer example of mortal sin.

And anyway, are you suggesting that the boy doesn’t go to confession for the mortal sin he believes he committed? I mean, he knows it’s wrong. He did it anyway. Even though we can’t say *for certain *that he’s going to hell, we’re pretty sure because he very plainly met all the requirements in a very clear fashion. Maybe God will save him - but maybe not. There’s no guarantee. But there is a sure-fire way to make his soul clean again, and that’s confession. Go to confession, and *really mean *to never masturbate again, and the mortal sin is wiped away. If Catholicism is true, you’re pretty much on your way to heaven. Until Tuesday, when you masturbate again and then the process continues.

And let me be clear: I don’t mean to make fun of the Catholic position here. But take a step back. I mean, look at it objectively. Don’t you think it’s a little ridiculous? To confess a sin that, though you really don’t want to do again, and you make the conscious decision to never do again … every Saturday, only to do it every single week - again! - whereupon you just go back to the confessional… again! Am I the only one who this strikes as just completely ridiculous? Isn’t there something wrong with what’s happening to - not just this boy but tens of thousands of boys across the nation?

If you are going to cite the Catechism of the Catholic Church then be fair to yourself and cite it completely. The following paragraph MUST be taken in with all of the other references that you made:

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” [137](file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/Ronald/Desktop/catechism.htm#$2E1)] “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.” [138](file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/Ronald/Desktop/catechism.htm#$2E2)] To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that lessen or even extenuate moral culpability.

It is obvious that you have some distaste for the Catholic Church but please do not be unfair to yourself and others by preaching ignorance. No one teaches that you can make a judgment as to whether or not this boy or anyone, for that matter, satisfies the three requirements for a sin to be mortal. That is between God and him and can be discerned in the confessional. And yes, you can be remorseful on Saturday and truly intend to give up a certain sin and then weaken on tuesday and fall again. That is why Christ came and died for you. So that each and every time you fall He’s there to pick you up.

Maybe you can teach your “catechesis” in some other forum where there might not be so many people who actually read the Catechism…God bless …teachccd

 

[camerong]

Mortal sin is clearly defined in the Catechism as, “result[ing] in the loss of charity and the privation of sanctifying grace, that is, of the state of grace. If it is not redeemed by repentance and God’s forgiveness, it causes exclusion from Christ’s kingdom and the eternal death of hell, for our freedom has the power to make choices for ever, with no turning back.” Mortal sin sends you to hell. That’s the point.

Catholics and others do not absolutely need to confess mortal sins to avoid hell. See discussion here.

The book goes on to say that, “although we can judge that an act is in itself a grave offense, we must entrust judgment of persons to the justice and mercy of God.” In other words, the Church will never tell you that you’re going to hell, and indeed the Catechism, if I remember it correctly, never says that “X action is a mortal sin.” It does, however, say it is grave matter. Masturbation is one of those things where it says it’s a grave sin, which is one of the three qualifications for mortal sin. And this boy knows he’s complicit with the other two, and so did I when I was his age. He knows it’s a grave sin, obviously, for he feels remorse for it, and he freely does it anyway.

There is, perhaps, no clearer example of mortal sin.

You say that he “freely” does it anyway, but that’s not clear. An alcoholic who drinks may not freely do so. This same spectrum is true, to some extent, of people who commit sins of the flesh. That is likely one reason why I was so quickly–and rightly–corrected when I insinuated that this was a mortal sin.

And let me be clear: I don’t mean to make fun of the Catholic position here. But take a step back. I mean, look at it objectively. Don’t you think it’s a little ridiculous? To confess a sin that, though you really don’t want to do again, and you make the conscious decision to never do again … every Saturday, only to do it every single week - again! - whereupon you just go back to the confessional… again! Am I the only one who this strikes as just completely ridiculous? Isn’t there something wrong with what’s happening to - not just this boy but tens of thousands of boys across the nation?

No, I don’t think it is ridiculous to say that we should overcome some of our natural desires. You agree that we should, we just differ as to the reasons for doing so. You abstain from satisfying each and every desire solely to be a good citizen, for personal success, out of respect for others, etc. But all reasons based in this world. I abstain because I believe a higher power wants me to. So, the act of abstaining is not ridiculous. And if you believed in that higher power, you wouldn’t think abstaining in this way was ridiculous.

You might say, the ridiculousness of the moral rule is evidence against our conception of God. Why? Because our rule is not achievable? We never said it was–that’s the point of Christ. Because it so restricts our natural pleasure? As I established above, you restrict your own pleasure, we just differ as to the extent. Because it causes guilt? It need not, again, Christ. Because the cycle is unbreakable? That’s clearly not true–many of us were in his same position, and have broken out of it through prayer, faith and determination.

 

[teachccd]

Like when you confess something to a priest, you may not speak of it again? Like it’s bad to tell others what you have confessed about.

Noel, You can speak about anything that you confessed as long as you are comfortable about it and as long as it is not because you are concerned about whether or not you were forgiven. Reconciliation forgives all your sins as long as you were honest and did not hold back on any serious sins. Again, only the priest cannot tell anyone what you confessed. You can tell anyone you wish…God bless…teachccd

 

[teachccd]

Catholics and others do not absolutely need to confess mortal sins to avoid hell. See discussion here.

You say that he “freely” does it anyway, but that’s not clear. An alcoholic who drinks may not freely do so. This same spectrum is true, to some extent, of people who commit sins of the flesh. That is likely one reason why I was so quickly–and rightly–corrected when I insinuated that this was a mortal sin.

No, I don’t think it is ridiculous to say that we should overcome some of our natural desires. You agree that we should, we just differ as to the reasons for doing so. You abstain from satisfying each and every desire solely to be a good citizen, for personal success, out of respect for others, etc. But all reasons based in this world. I abstain because I believe a higher power wants me to. So, the act of abstaining is not ridiculous. And if you believed in that higher power, you wouldn’t think abstaining in this way was ridiculous.

You might say, the ridiculousness of the moral rule is evidence against our conception of God. Why? Because our rule is not achievable? We never said it was–that’s the point of Christ. Because it so restricts our natural pleasure? As I established above, you restrict your own pleasure, we just differ as to the extent. Because it causes guilt? It need not, again, Christ. Because the cycle is unbreakable? That’s clearly not true–many of us were in his same position, and have broken out of it through prayer, faith and determination.

Very well said!!

 

[stefina]

Noel, first off good for you being the age you are and realizing how masterbation is a mortal sin… this is definatly a major struggle… pray to Mary and Jesus… go to confession and church on a regular basis. A few weeks ago I was very (name removed by moderator)sired by a priests’ homily… he said if you KNOW that a certain location, or a certain person is gonna make you sin… take it out of your life!.. if you know that if when your on the computer and when you see sexual images, get rid of it, dont click on it!.. point was, if you know that sin is going to be the outcome of what your doing…dont do it!! Im not sure of pornography is also an issue, but if so, instead of thinking of lustful images, think of how Jesus died on the cross for us, the pain he went thru, so we can be forgiven. Noel I have faith that you can do this… never give up, your in my prayers. Ask Mary for guidance!!

God Bless!