T
tenderlynew
Guest
I have started with treatment for a personal female matters and have two more appointments with two other specialists. I am overwhelmed as I have already been treated for psychiatry for thirty years and let everything else slide. I am in very poor physical condition. I may also need to see a dermatologist as my skin is constantly itching and I have already been treated twice for a possible infestation and my hair is falling out. I fear my new family doctor is getting sick of me. she is a Catholic. She is making up for a lifetime of medical neglect through being sidelined into the psych system. Psychiatrists do not refer and I never had a good family doctor in my lifetime, until now. I have already put up several prayers for my family. I have no support. My son has his own problems and my parents are too challenged themselves to help. I take so many medications it’s hard to stay awake. the simplest tasks are so difficult, showering, doing the laundry, vacuuming, and I also have financial struggles. I don’t know how I’m going to pay all the medical bills, even though I have good a good Medicare advantage plan. somehow the Lord keeps providing. It is a constant struggle not to smoke cigarettes but I simply can’t afford it. I still do it and have to focus at every moment on smoking as little as possible, I smoked for thirty-five years to medicate myself for the pain and helplessness of my disability. I have been in so much physical and emotional pain for so long I thought I was going to die and the Lord led me to the brink of suicide and then stopped me when I cried for the little girl of the abortion 20 years ago. I know to trust in Him for spiritual healing above all else, but my physical condition has been such a problem for so long that I despair. It is easy to lay in bed thinking you’re dying, harder to face that you won’t and have to pull yourself together or have worsening pain.
