For my first Confession...

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Paris_Blues

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…which will be next month believe it or not. I’m excited! NOT!

Anyway, today I was watching Daily Mass on EWTN and the priest was telling about how to make a good Confession. He said something like that you just say Father, forgive me I have sinned, etc. something like that then he gives a good example of a good Confession like had some envy that trying to get rid of, etc. but that was only an example.

My question is, he only said the sin and not the reason WHY the sin happened in the example. Is it true that for my first Confession I only have to tell the sin and not explain why I did what I did?
 
Paris Blues:
Is it true that for my first Confession I only have to tell the sin and not explain why I did what I did?
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For any confession, you need only tell the priest what you did. It is not necessary to explain why you did it. To the best of your recollection, it is necessary to recount the number of times the sin was committed.

With that said, it is strongly encouraged (and helpful to both priest and penitent) if the penitent provides any relevant details, such as the circumstances under which the sin occurred. Furthermore, there is nothing stopping you from disclosing why you sinned. You should do this anyway as part of your examination of conscience prior to entering the confessional.

You may be dreading the experience now, but after it is over next month and you have received your absolution, you will feel very differently about this wonderful Sacrament.

In Christ,
Michael
 
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msproule:
With that said, it is strongly encouraged (and helpful to both priest and penitent) if the penitent provides any relevant details, such as the circumstances under which the sin occurred. Furthermore, there is nothing stopping you from disclosing why you sinned. You should do this anyway as part of your examination of conscience prior to entering the confessional.
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Uh…sure it’s a great Sacrament. Um…it’s either you NEED to or not! If the Church encourages you to say why the heck you did or why it led you to do that, then you might as well say so. I mean, that doesn’t tell me anything when they say you don’t need to say the details but we encourage you to, that’s like a contradiction in a way but that’s just me.

Well, for that being the case, what do most people do?
 
Im in RCIA too…and a college student…and I am dreading confession. Is it worth doing is the question. I say yes. We know what the Church teaches and requires and unlike cradle Catholics, we are chossing this way of life…of course Cradle Catholics can choose later…but we choose now to go through with it. Hold your head high and be proud of your choice.

dxu
 
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snowman10:
Im in RCIA too…and a college student…and I am dreading confession. Is it worth doing is the question. I say yes. We know what the Church teaches and requires and unlike cradle Catholics, we are chossing this way of life…of course Cradle Catholics can choose later…but we choose now to go through with it. Hold your head high and be proud of your choice.

dxu
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Awesome! I’m happy that you’re in RCIA too! I’m a college student too. When do you get confirmed? I might get confirmed next month if all goes well.
 
Paris Blues:
Awesome! I’m happy that you’re in RCIA too! I’m a college student too. When do you get confirmed? I might get confirmed next month if all goes well.
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Umm…Easter is when we do everything, we’ve only had a few meetings. As far as all going well, there is a good chance that it won’t. My family is going to kill me.

dxu
 
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snowman10:
Umm…Easter is when we do everything, we’ve only had a few meetings. As far as all going well, there is a good chance that it won’t. My family is going to kill me.

dxu
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WHAT?!? What do you mean there’s a good chance it wont happen? Is your family against you becoming Catholic? 😦
 
Paris Blues:
WHAT?!? What do you mean there’s a good chance it wont happen? Is your family against you becoming Catholic? 😦
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Does a bear poop in the woods…sorry I mask my fear and saddness with humor…but ya they hate the idea. They think I am so wrong since I was raised Methodist. They fear it because they dont understand it. It stinks!

dxu
 
Paris,

As a fellow college student and lifelong Catholic this is my understanding of it. You are only required to state the sin and how many times. It may help the priest to give you a more appropriate pennance to aide you in preventing this sin in the future if he knows about why. Many times the priest will ask for more information if he wants it; if you feel it is important to state it you should proably should.

So it is not necessarily required to state why, but many times it better prepares you to recieve the graces brought by the sacrament.
 
bit of advice I was given during RCIA – when you begin to give details in confession, it can make you “justify” what you did AND it can lead to you bringing other people’s sins into the confessional with you.

For instance, let’s say you have envy in your heart toward a classmate. When you start down the path of saying “I have envied so-and-so because she has such beautiful clothes and great hair and gets good grades, she was elected to be homecoming queen when she is always so mean to everyone around her and once I loaned her $20 and she never even repaid it and then she stole my boyfriend…” Far better to say “I have envy in my heart on a daily basis for a schoolmate” and leave it at that. Should Father wish to counsel you, he may ask a bit more – but, again be brief and to the point.

It made sense to me!
 
There’s a really good book that helped me a LOT in understanding confession, how to make a good one and how to get the most out of the Sacrament. It’s called “Frequent Confession, its Role in the Spiritual Life” by Benedict Bauer. An awesome book.
 
Paris Blues:
…which will be next month believe it or not. I’m excited! NOT!

Anyway, today I was watching Daily Mass on EWTN and the priest was telling about how to make a good Confession. He said something like that you just say Father, forgive me I have sinned, etc. something like that then he gives a good example of a good Confession like had some envy that trying to get rid of, etc. but that was only an example.

My question is, he only said the sin and not the reason WHY the sin happened in the example. Is it true that for my first Confession I only have to tell the sin and not explain why I did what I did?
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Yes that’s true, it might be a good idea to go to www.ewtn.com and re-listen to that one.
 
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kage_ar:
… bit of advice I was given during RCIA – when you begin to give details in confession, it can make you “justify” what you did AND it can lead to you bringing other people’s sins into the confessional with you.
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👍

Excellent point.

There is no reason to explain why you committed a sin, since every sin is ultimately caused by the same thing – our inordinate self-love.
 
My advice is to leave out the why’s and the explanations. Just state the sins and receive forgiveness.
 
the “why” of a thing is not necessary for confession but you should give any extenuating or exascerbating circumstances:

Extenuating: I stole some food - my family is starving and it was the only way to feed them

Exascerbating: I stole food … from a starving person.

Stealing a dollar from Bill Gates is not the same as stealing a dollar from a homeless peson. Stealing a penny from almost anybody is not the same as stealing twenty bucks.

if appropriate you may tell if the sin was alone or with others because if you cause scandal that is exascerbating.

But dont worry about all this… a good confessor will walk you through it all and make prudential judgements about what he needs to hear and what you need to say.
 
Just ask your priest if he wants to hear the “whys”, and then let him guide you in your first confession. 🙂
 
Just a simple “yes” or “no” to my question would’ve been perfect but thanks again for explaining more cleary so I can have a better understanding of it. 😛

Now I have a clue.
 
I came back to the Church this year and did my first confession in many many years, I am pretty sure it was about 12-14 years since my last confession.

I was so nervous, that I pretty much flubbed the whole beginning as I pretty much started rambling on until the priest kinda stopped me and helped me along. Now I was away from the Church for a long time and had done some pretty heavy sinning, yet the priest just patiently helped me along.

I am pretty sure the priest has heard it all, we are all sinners. You might be able to search my posts if you want to hear more about my first confession in a long time. (you wont hear any real details that is between God/Me and the priest, and I am sure that poor priest has forgotten about me)

The hardest part is going to go do it and starting to confess. It is difficult, but well worth it, and you get to put your past behind you.

God Bless
Scylla
 
Paris,
Don’t worry! By the time you are to go to reconcilliation for the first time you will know exactly what to do. Really, I know it sounds scary but it isn’t. When I was a child it was very scary at first but the rewards are so worth it! This might be a good time to share a very remarkable experience I had with reconcilliation with you. The day of my divorce there was actually a penance service at my church where reconcilliation was offered after the service. I kinda wanted to go but I had 3 small chidren at the time and I didn’t want to drag them with me to what promised to be a very emotional time. So I took my kids out to dinner and unexpectantly a friend showed up. She took one look at me and said you need to talk to someone. I told her about the penance service and my desire to go but my reluctance to take the children. So she called her work and told them she was taking a long lunch (she works swing shift) and told me to go and she would watch my kids. I went full of anger, it just wasn’t fair all the things I had to go through… During the penance service I just got angrier as I looked at all the people around me and they seemed so “together” and I felt like I was falling apart. As I waited to go to reconcilliation, one of our nuns came up to me and asked how I was doing. I was too angry to say much more than hello and life stinks to her… When I went into confession I confessed about my overwhelming anger about the divorce and how it was just destroying me inside. The priest and I prayed together and he gave me some very good ideas about managing my anger. As we were praying this peace came over me…seemingly out of nowhere. I could feel a total transformation coming over me, I wasn’t angry anymore, I only felt peace. I wish I could describe the overwhelming anger I felt that night as I entered the church. There really aren’t words for it though, I have never felt that angry in all my life, and I never want to again, but just minutes later I only felt peace. It was the most awesome feeling in the world! I truly came to believe in the graces imparted during reconcilliation that night. As I left the church, my nun friend was waiting for me because she had never seen me in such a bad place as I was that night before reconcilliation. I told her about how my anger had just melted away and this comforting peace came over me. I told her how I had never felt the hand of God on me so strongly as I did at that moment. She smiled then laughed and told me how happy she had been to see me that night because she saw the pain I was going through and how all that pain had just gone away…truly, one of the most memorable days of my life. Ever since that day, I have been hooked on reconcilliation.
 
Paris Blues:
Just a simple “yes” or “no” to my question would’ve been perfect but thanks again for explaining more cleary so I can have a better understanding of it. 😛

Now I have a clue.
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The only reason to give the why’s and the number is to give the Priest an idea if the sins (while individually relatively minor but cumulatively speak to a serious sin that is or threatens to seriously remove you from God and God’s Grace) you are confessing points to a more serious underlying sin that you are consciously or unconsiously not confessing.

For instance, if you are confessing premarital sex, it is pertinent to know if it is with multiple partners or in the past etc. For instance, if it is promiscuous sex w/ multiple partners, the real sin is a lack of self-love as a reflection of your love for God and His love for you as opposed to limited indulgences of weakness.

Or another instance, if your confession is a long list of selfish behaviour, the Priest can point you to examine the Deadly Sins of Envy and Pride. And when looked at in that light, you will possibly discover other actions that are actually sinful and also for which you need to repent and reform.

However, just to be clear, you are absolved of all your sins (even those you didn’t confess because you honestly didn’t recall them or didn’t understand their sinfulness) if you make a good, sincere confession. But, if you make frequent confessions, you will discover the root of the sin (some of the sins you confess are just the “fruit” of other sins) and it will help you be a better Christian every day. The Church talks about how the repetition of sins (even unserious sin) can cumulatively destroy Charity and ultimate become a barrier to fully experiencing God’s love for you.
 
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