M
mouse333
Guest
He is everything to me. All my life, it seems, I have held him in my heart but watched him suffer. When he was born I had no arms to hold him, my spine was damaged by the epidural. I had to accept help from my mother, where there was a great divide, and she took him from me at the age of 10 months by putting me in a psychiatric hospital just because I didn’t answer when she called 5 times in a row while I was trying to get him to nap. She just likes to make the phone ring. She has a phone fetish. It is responsible for most of the most desperate moments in my life, things that went wrong that I couldn’t understand until I finally saw the pattern. when she is hurt, she attacks. She is threatening. She refuses to let people say goodbye to her–she becomes threatening.
I needed her help. There was nobody else. My husband insisted.
She had him for 6 weeks while I was in the hospital. Then I was hospitalized again for 3 months after yet another huge relocation of our small family. That time, I couldn’t take him back. It was like my mother used to say about wild animals–if human hands touch the babies, the mother won’t take them back. I couldn’t abide him any more. This is the honest, painful truth. He was the joy of my life, al gone sour.
I struggled to raise him with an alcoholic, violent-tempered husband who worked out of town because we couldn’t get along together. I got sicker and sicker. We had relocated again. It was too much. Somehow we lived out our lives together and there were even happy moments but there was a sense of never-ending desperation.
Now we’ve divorced and, OF COURSE, my son wound up back with my mother. The only other alternative was jail or likely death in Florida. It was still a hard choice to make. I told the lawyer I got at the hospital in the D.C. area that “anything was better” than my parents, when he asked if I wanted to go to them or stay with my husband.
I’ve watched him drowning for the last 2 1/2 years and haven’t been able to do a thing.
Somehow I could NEVER pray for him.
Except to ask St. Raphael to guide him along his journey and protect him and keep him safe, and for him to find God.
Now he faces assault charges. He is a bright, handsome, sweet child to me. He is 21. I still have to go back to when he was an infant, to find him in my heart. There’s a powerful connection, but it is warped. I was hospitalized over and over in Florida, and my mother always took him. She showed nothing but lies and animosity towards me.
Now he may go to jail. the hearing is tomorrow. I can’t be there. My mother and father will, and they hired an ace lawyer for him but the lawyer is very old and I don’t think he is in touch with my son. He has not met me.
I pray to GOD for intervention in this matter and in the situation that will follow whether he goes to jail or whether he is released back into my parents care. I am tied up with so many medical issues and financial problems that I can’t even think. I know my son needs correction as well as guidance but I pray there is an alternative to jail. He could get HURT there.
I needed her help. There was nobody else. My husband insisted.
She had him for 6 weeks while I was in the hospital. Then I was hospitalized again for 3 months after yet another huge relocation of our small family. That time, I couldn’t take him back. It was like my mother used to say about wild animals–if human hands touch the babies, the mother won’t take them back. I couldn’t abide him any more. This is the honest, painful truth. He was the joy of my life, al gone sour.
I struggled to raise him with an alcoholic, violent-tempered husband who worked out of town because we couldn’t get along together. I got sicker and sicker. We had relocated again. It was too much. Somehow we lived out our lives together and there were even happy moments but there was a sense of never-ending desperation.
Now we’ve divorced and, OF COURSE, my son wound up back with my mother. The only other alternative was jail or likely death in Florida. It was still a hard choice to make. I told the lawyer I got at the hospital in the D.C. area that “anything was better” than my parents, when he asked if I wanted to go to them or stay with my husband.
I’ve watched him drowning for the last 2 1/2 years and haven’t been able to do a thing.
Somehow I could NEVER pray for him.
Except to ask St. Raphael to guide him along his journey and protect him and keep him safe, and for him to find God.
Now he faces assault charges. He is a bright, handsome, sweet child to me. He is 21. I still have to go back to when he was an infant, to find him in my heart. There’s a powerful connection, but it is warped. I was hospitalized over and over in Florida, and my mother always took him. She showed nothing but lies and animosity towards me.
Now he may go to jail. the hearing is tomorrow. I can’t be there. My mother and father will, and they hired an ace lawyer for him but the lawyer is very old and I don’t think he is in touch with my son. He has not met me.
I pray to GOD for intervention in this matter and in the situation that will follow whether he goes to jail or whether he is released back into my parents care. I am tied up with so many medical issues and financial problems that I can’t even think. I know my son needs correction as well as guidance but I pray there is an alternative to jail. He could get HURT there.
