For new priests, religious nuns, and seminarians, how did your girlfriend/ boyfriends handle your discernment?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Mannyfit75
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

Mannyfit75

Guest
This question pertains to new priests, priests, nuns and seminarians. If you had a girlfriend or boyfriend, prior to your discernment. How did they cope with your call to a religious life? I also like to know how you handle the situation.
 
Mannyfit75 said:
This question pertains to new priests, priests, nuns and seminarians. If you had a girlfriend or boyfriend, prior to your discernment. How did they cope with your call to a religious life? I also like to know how you handle the situation.
Click to expand...
I run the womenindiscernment yahoo group, and our standard recommendation is that the ladies NOT date while discerning. That being said, I always advise them to ask not only their Guardian Angel for help, but also ask the Holy Ghost to give them the words they need, that is if the discernment journey is indeed where God is leading them.

It’s never easy to say good-bye, and it’s hard to watch those we care about suffer, but that is the path of thorns we have to follow Christ on. The going is rough at first, but Mary’s grace–if we ask her–is there to sustain us.

I’m discerning now as to whether or not to start a yahoo group for those who have “lost” loved ones to vocations.

Not a lot of help, I know, but just my 2 cents.

Blessings,
Cloisters
 
I had already broken up with my girlfriend when I made the decision. But she still cried when I told her. It wasn’t a “please don’t do this” cry. It was more a “I’m happy for you but sad for me” cry. If that makes sense.

I know that makes me sound like an arrogant jerk, but to be honest I still love her too. But we know we can never be together again. For a variety of reasons. It’s an absolute impossibility. Even if I dropped out of the seminary tomorrow, it couldn’t happen.

“You’ll make a great priest” she tells me. Yeah. I wish I had a dollar for everyone who’s told me that. Here’s a heads up: that really doesn’t help. There’s no way anyone can know if I will make a “great” priest. All it does it place unreasonable expectations on me. There are lousy priests too, you know? It’s just as likely I’ll be one of those. And I would love, just once, to hear someone say, “You’ll make a lousy priest because of…” Might make me mad enough to prove them wrong.

But I’ve wandered away from the original question. How do I handle the ex-girlfriend? Exercise. Running. Prayer. What else can I do? Sit in my room bemoaning loved lost?

Some of this self-recrimination comes from the devil I’m sure. But most of it comes directly from me. If I hadn’t involved myself with this girl in the particular way I did and for the time that I did, chances are I wouldn’t be feeling any of this agony. That’s what’s known as “what goes around comes around.” Also known as “paybacks are hell” or “you reap what you sow.”
 
Hi Manny, each person should follow their own discernment from God. The boyfriend or girlfriend also must pray for God’s direction and not be thinking I am left behind because we all aren’t alone.

God is in control when we give him the steering wheel and we can’t judge what is the future will hold, our faith steps on the gas pedal and if the Lord is driving we know it will be the right direction for the benefit of all.

I’ve maybe told this story before so if I am repeating sorry.
I have a Catholic friend, Sandy, not real name, and when she was young a young man wanted to marry her. she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do in life and was dedicated to staying at thome and family parents and all. So the young man went into the seminary became a very dedicated nice priest.10 years later another man starts to persue her and she dates him for 10 years, he is more persistant. So she marries him at 40, she has 2 children a girl and boy and is fairly happy but the husband is not Catholic and so she has her life work cutout for herself. Now she is 55 and the priest comes back in the area, is retired, and becomes her confessor and there is nothing implied here because she is truly loving her husband and faithful. The priest becomes ill and goes to a nursing home and she visits him and is continues to see him his remaining years. Now she is 65, she is lonely but has truly had a blessing from the spiritual gifts from God’s love shown through the priest and she could express God’s care. They each followed what they felt was the vocation God wanted for them, not trying to guess God would do for them or unsure because we don’t know exactly what our future will be.
When I got to know her I felt sad for her at first and to think what a meybe better life she could have had, but then the Holy Spirit showed me she did have a fruitful and dedicated life and He was watching out for her all along. So then I could feel happy for her and see where she could feel blessed as she followed what her vocation was for her aloneas it was her walk and in the end her merits and works and she will stand before the Lord and she was truly faithfull and I am proof of some of that fruit because she led me through the rosary for weeks and months at a time, teaching me how to pray, which I try to lead by my example for the one’s God will bring into my life. Lead them to Jesus. We are all still in this world together just in different walks and our paths will cross. Hope this helps Manny, and God Bless, blessings:)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top