P
pennamejaneq
Guest
Upon a suggestion of a fellow member, I’m asking for prayers.
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over two years now. We have been using Napro technology this entire time and remain faithful to Catholic teaching and are not considering IVF or any similar methods. We knew early on that my husband’s sperm was not optimal. On Monday, we found out that both of my Fallopian tubes are blocked, making pregnancy impossible. The past week has been very hard for me. We are now planning to go to the Pope Paul VI Institute in Omaha, NE to see if they can open the tubes. I’m already 34, so time is not on our side.
I need some powerful prayers right now. You see, there are times during the week, like when I’m at Mass, when I can’t hold back my tears because I can hear babies cooing and babbling, or because I can see them smiling and bobbling around. The temptation is to become hardened to my internal and external worlds in an attempt to “keep it together.” Also, I tend to beat myself up because I know that children are not the “end-all-be-all,” and I don’t want this to be such a big deal. I strongly believe that children are a gift and not a right, and yet, this is juxtaposed with the biological fact than men and women are supposed to be able to reproduce. It blows my mind. My body seems to know this is a big deal. The sting of empty arms is profound.
This pain of this journey has taken be by surprise. The hormonal roller coaster makes my emotions very strong, my thoughts are frequently clouded, everyone around me is having babies, I don’t know anyone who is struggling with infertility, my nearby in-laws seem to say the most insensitive things, and even the Church approved procedures are incredibly invasive and uncomfortable. This cross is so heavy and lonely, even with my husband by my side. I don’t want to do this anymore. Yet, just when a “giving up point” seems to be in sight, there seems to be a new procedure worth trying. My husband likes to fix things, so he gets very excited about these procedures, and I don’t want to be a party-pooper, or someone who gives up too easily. I just need God so much right now.
I’m asking for unwavering trust in the Lord accompanied by superhuman patience, perseverance, and peace as we continue to discern God’s will in this process. I am open to adoption and foster care. Adoption is expensive, however, and we are not rich. My husband is not open to foster care right now. So, we wait. We wait to see what our chances are. I’m hoping for definitive answers so we can get on with life.
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over two years now. We have been using Napro technology this entire time and remain faithful to Catholic teaching and are not considering IVF or any similar methods. We knew early on that my husband’s sperm was not optimal. On Monday, we found out that both of my Fallopian tubes are blocked, making pregnancy impossible. The past week has been very hard for me. We are now planning to go to the Pope Paul VI Institute in Omaha, NE to see if they can open the tubes. I’m already 34, so time is not on our side.
I need some powerful prayers right now. You see, there are times during the week, like when I’m at Mass, when I can’t hold back my tears because I can hear babies cooing and babbling, or because I can see them smiling and bobbling around. The temptation is to become hardened to my internal and external worlds in an attempt to “keep it together.” Also, I tend to beat myself up because I know that children are not the “end-all-be-all,” and I don’t want this to be such a big deal. I strongly believe that children are a gift and not a right, and yet, this is juxtaposed with the biological fact than men and women are supposed to be able to reproduce. It blows my mind. My body seems to know this is a big deal. The sting of empty arms is profound.
This pain of this journey has taken be by surprise. The hormonal roller coaster makes my emotions very strong, my thoughts are frequently clouded, everyone around me is having babies, I don’t know anyone who is struggling with infertility, my nearby in-laws seem to say the most insensitive things, and even the Church approved procedures are incredibly invasive and uncomfortable. This cross is so heavy and lonely, even with my husband by my side. I don’t want to do this anymore. Yet, just when a “giving up point” seems to be in sight, there seems to be a new procedure worth trying. My husband likes to fix things, so he gets very excited about these procedures, and I don’t want to be a party-pooper, or someone who gives up too easily. I just need God so much right now.
I’m asking for unwavering trust in the Lord accompanied by superhuman patience, perseverance, and peace as we continue to discern God’s will in this process. I am open to adoption and foster care. Adoption is expensive, however, and we are not rich. My husband is not open to foster care right now. So, we wait. We wait to see what our chances are. I’m hoping for definitive answers so we can get on with life.
!