For priests and knowledgeable laymen only: When must I get the last sacraments for my grandmother?

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Latinitas

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Hi CAF community,

My grandmother is 92 years old, and unfortunately, I think she has dimentia, since her memory has significantly detriorated recently. She hasn’t been to confession in decades, but she still goes to Mass and receives communion weekly. I’ve tried to get her to go to confession, but she doesn’t want to go.

Having said that, she’s a bit of a passive person, and I think she may be partially concerned about the hassle and inconvenience it causes us (well, it’s really not an inconvenience for me) to take her, and I don’t want that to influence her decision.

Now, as I noted, it seems she’s losing her memory, and I want her to at least confess before she dies. I also know that as basically the sole devout Catholic in my house, it falls on me to make sure she receives the Last Rites before she dies. Alas, like many, she and my mom have a fear that getting the Last Rites is somehow a death sentence.

Now, my question, is, that since I’m the only one who will basically call the priest to ensure the Last Rites are received, when am I bound to so (I know there’s an obligation), and more than that, what should I do? I obviously pray for her very often, that she’ll confess. I thinking that just calling the priest in might prompt her to make her confession. But, obviously, I can’t force her.

As noted in the title, I’d prefer the opinions of priests (orthodox ones, at that) or very knowledgeable laymen.

Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas
 
You can make the offer to her at any point, just ask if she would like to see a Priest for a conversation and anointing.
 
Latinitas said:
My grandmother is 92 years old, and unfortunately, I think she has dimentia, since her memory has significantly detriorated recently. She hasn’t been to confession in decades, but she still goes to Mass and receives communion weekly. I’ve tried to get her to go to confession, but she doesn’t want to go.
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Talk to your parish pastor and invite him to talk to her about her fears.
Latinitas said:
Now, as I noted, it seems she’s losing her memory, and I want her to at least confess before she dies.
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While that may be what you want, you will have to come to terms with the fact that that may not be what happens. Your grandmother does have free will, and she alone can decide if and when she wants to go to confession. You may not get what you want, and you will have to learn to be OK with that. She’s an adult.
Latinitas said:
I also know that as basically the sole devout Catholic in my house, it falls on me to make sure she receives the Last Rites before she dies. Alas, like many, she and my mom have a fear that getting the Last Rites is somehow a death sentence.
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The “last rites” as the name implies IS for the dying. That, together with the Apostolic Blessing (also called the Apostolic Pardon), is for those who are truly dying.

Anointing of the sick, confession, and communion are not just for the dying. They can be received any time.

You could arrange for the pastor to visit your grandmother in her home or wherever she lives. He could talk with her, and if she WANTS any of the sacraments he could administer them. Pastors regularly visit elderly, shut ins, and the sick of their parish.
Latinitas said:
Now, my question, is, that since I’m the only one who will basically call the priest to ensure the Last Rites are received, when am I bound to so (I know there’s an obligation), and more than that, what should I do?
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When and if it becomes apparent that she is dying-- such as if she falls gravely ill, goes into the hospital, or becomes quite frail.

I suggest you tell your pastor what you’ve told us here and you ask him what he thinks.
Latinitas said:
I obviously pray for her very often, that she’ll confess. I thinking that just calling the priest in might prompt her to make her confession. But, obviously, I can’t force her.
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IMHO, you are just a little too obsessed with her confession. You need to remember that it is her decision.

The best course is to talk to your own parish pastor who knows both of you.
 
Latinitas said:
Hi CAF community,

My grandmother is 92 years old, and unfortunately, I think she has dimentia, since her memory has significantly detriorated recently. She hasn’t been to confession in decades, but she still goes to Mass and receives communion weekly. I’ve tried to get her to go to confession, but she doesn’t want to go.

Having said that, she’s a bit of a passive person, and I think she may be partially concerned about the hassle and inconvenience it causes us (well, it’s really not an inconvenience for me) to take her, and I don’t want that to influence her decision.

Now, as I noted, it seems she’s losing her memory, and I want her to at least confess before she dies. I also know that as basically the sole devout Catholic in my house, it falls on me to make sure she receives the Last Rites before she dies. Alas, like many, she and my mom have a fear that getting the Last Rites is somehow a death sentence.

Now, my question, is, that since I’m the only one who will basically call the priest to ensure the Last Rites are received, when am I bound to so (I know there’s an obligation), and more than that, what should I do? I obviously pray for her very often, that she’ll confess. I thinking that just calling the priest in might prompt her to make her confession. But, obviously, I can’t force her.

As noted in the title, I’d prefer the opinions of priests (orthodox ones, at that) or very knowledgeable laymen.

Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas
Click to expand...
Why didn’t you just ask your priest?
 
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