For those who have beaten the big M addiction

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buckr02

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I wanted to ask some questions to those who have beaten the addiction to porn/masturbation or to anyone that knows much about addictions and such. I was wondering how long it takes before you can be confident about your hold and control of the addiction.

I have been addicted for about 8-10 years I think. After many attempts and almosts at breaking away from the problem, I have now been clean for just over five weeks, thanks to the many graces of the Lenten season.

I once read that after five weeks, you can be pretty sure you have broken the addiction, but it certainly doesn’t feel that way. I still have those moments that even now I’m surprised I’ve made it through. I worry that after Lent is over I may lose a huge part of my motivation.

Any thoughts or advice on the issue would be great. I may come back with more questions now because I think I am forgetting something.
 
Some do call such matters “addiction.” Even so, they are still sin. Each of us have our own struggles with various sins. It is important to keep close to God in prayer. Through some of my darkest moments, I have found that is only thing that has sustained me. It helps for me to actually go into a Church, bless myself with Holy Water, light a candle and pray. There is something about it that gives me strength.
 
Before I say anything- awesome! Lent is pretty much the best.

Awhile ago, I counted days, weeks and months I went without it. I could say that I gave it up to just give it up- because I was taught it was bad. Which it really is. But for me now, it’s knowing that I’m clean of mortal sin that strengthens my desire to continually love God. I trust God that His love will always be there for me- and if I do ever trip and fall to my desires, Jesus is there to pick me up through Reconciliation. So- I trust God to hold me, to keep my desires good.

Overall- I hate keeping dates. To be brutally honest, I once went two years without it- just to fall into it the next spring+summer. I would NOT rely on dates to know whether or not you are “cured.” We are always going to have sinful tendencies, so trust that God will ALWAYS pick you up when you fall.

No guy can rid himself of that desire. But I let God’s love become my desire- and in so doing all other desires are diminished in power over me.

God bless you, and stay strong, for Christ will always be there for you! 🙂
 
For me, I can never let my guard down.

Great start! 👍

It’s difficult but never give up.

If you fall, confess, pick yourself up and start again.

Monthly confession helps a lot.

Avoiding the near occasions as much as possible is a help as well.

Its been years but I still have to stay away from the innuendos in the media as much as I can.

If you have thoughts, don’t indulge them, overt your eyes and pray.

Help is only a prayer away.
 
I always did it when I was a kid, and after I grew up, not knowing it was a sin.
Sometimes being a cradle Catholic breeds ignorance, they don’t talk about that stuff when you are a kid, at least, not when I was a kid.
I even thought it was GOOD for me spiritually, to help curb the urges, so to speak.

Once I found out it was a Mortal Sin, I stopped cold turkey, more than 2 years ago.
For me, the biggest help is that whenever I get the urge (which is like, always) to stop and think about going to confession. In order to feel truely repentant for past sins, you need to really wish you had not done it, and would un-do it if you can.
What scared me was, how could I stand there, about to do this sin, and at the same time wish I had NOT done it in the past?? I was scared I was invalidating my past confessions!

You ladies don’t understand what we men go through, the urge is there ALWAYS. It does not stop. It is a constant battle. We know what it means to ‘avoid the near occasion of sin’!
Can’t even open a magazine sometimes!
 
I’ve been clean of this sin for a little over 3 months now. I did mess up once and i regreted it as soon as it was over. But to be “cured”, there is no such thing cause like the previous posters say the urge is always there. Especially in this day in age where sex has become a symbol for just about everything, it is hard to avoid it sometimes.
 
It look me over 10 years and another 10 to be completely totally free of it. The sex drive DOES diminish over time, thank God.
 
Anti depressants (Lexapro) can reduce the libido, which is what I needed to have happen. With a strong libido, I was never able to quit for long.

Where do we guys get our strong libidos from? It’s abnormally high for a lot of us.

Now that my libido is under control, giving up sex is easy, but now I’m gaining weight like mad from another libido reducing drug called Zyprexa.

I don’t believe that compulsive masturbation need be a mortal sin, in that it’s uncontrollable, but I confessed it as sin. I let God decide whether it’s mortal or venial.

For those who insist that masturbation is alway a mortal sin, I offer this quote from the CCC:

*2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.”[137] “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.”[138]
**To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that lessen or even extenuate moral culpability. ***

God Bless
 
First off, it might not be an addiction. Occasional isolated acts of this are not addictions. Men are wired for regular release. Much like getting regular sleep, we are born that way. Some of us want much more release than ohers. Some men do not crave release at all. They make great celibates. Everybody is different. For addictions, there are 12 step programs to help with this.

God wants us guys to find a good wife and share this gift with her. In return, he would like some babies out of the deal and a little gratitude.
🙂
 
I have been clean for little over 7 weeks now after several major battles with this sin. First of all, may i say that it is actually impossible for us to break it, but nothing is impossible for God!

I advise you to start praying the rosary. Promise 4 of 15 the Blessed Virgin gave to St. Dominic was:

The Rosary shall be a powerful armor against hell, it will destroy vice, decrease sin, and defeat heresies.

It really does work. Pray that you may be safe from temptation. Work out if you tend to commit this sin at a particular time of day o day f the week and pray for strength during that time.

Good Luck and God bless,

Robert.
 
I’ve stayed away from it for almost 8 months now. Here’s my biggest piece of advice:

Stay humble. No matter how good you have been doing, YOU have not beaten the sin. God has given you the strength to. I have found that the moment I start feeling proud about myself for staying pure and start thinking that I’m in control, that’s when the temptations start becoming more powerful over me.

Pray to God for chastity through the intercession of Mary, and He will surely listen. There is nothing He would want more than for you to be chaste.

Additionally, running and lifting weights helps keep the libido under control. It releases pent-up energy, especially for guys.

And, next time the temptation comes along, don’t make it into a bigger battle than it has to be. Obsessing over it makes it so much more difficult! Just relax, and move on. You know in your heart that that sinful action hasn’t brought you happiness, so why waste time with it?
 
I experienced a long time when the temptation was far from me, but I developed a condition of low testosterone, due to a tumor on the pituitary gland.

As part of the treatment, I am using a topical gel formulation of testosterone and my hormone levels are normal, after having been below the lower level normal testosterone. Well, it produces a surge in libido and the temptations return quite strongly, even more strongly than I have ever encountered in my life.

Low testoserone with aging can produce serious side effects for men, including osteoporosis, resulting in hip fractures. So, aging and low testosterone can reduce the temptations for sexual activity, but at a great cost.

I was just at a parish mission where a priest spoke about confessional advice that had been given to a young man who later became the archbishop of Paris. The advice given was to stand before the crucifix, contemplating on the crucifix, and to say twenty times in prayer, Jesus you did this for me, and I don’t care.

A man would have to have a very hard heart to get to the end of saying that twenty times, in the face of any temptation in life.
 
If you stay away from Pornography, it will increase your chances of success with masturbation.

If you have been looking at porn for 8 to 10 years, you have an addiction. Probably Internet. Right?

There are filters that run over your computer and block sites that you want out. Gambling, violence, language, and porn to mention a few. The best one I know of is Integrity on line, but I am sure there are others. I have tried a few. You need to tinker with it a bit. Get to know the software and I guarantee it will block out everything. Be sure to include “proxy servers”. If it does not block proxy servers its no good. Even with the filter on, you can open a free proxy server and open any site you want.

The better filter can provide accountability. It should send an email to a third party with all the sites you have visited. Every day. That is, if you are lucky enough to have one.

All filters will slow down your connection speed a tad, but it is what it is. Not much at all, just a bit.

So, what about the password? If you are protecting yourself, give it over to your accountability partner to set it, or worse case, let customer support set one for you. They know the deal. They will be happy to help. Be sure you have tinkered with it enough and it is working right before you do. It can take time. You have to tweak it so you can still browse but not the sites you and the filter settings have blocked. When the time comes, you will know when it working. Then give up the password.

One like Integrityonline will really work. No matter how smart you are, it will defeat you if you set it up right. Its the Cadillac. You can allow certain sites, block others, block everything. Even keywords for the search engines. If you spend a little time with it, your computer will be completely free. Guaranteed.

Good luck,
YYY
 
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