"forced to commit adultery"

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steve93446

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Jesus says if you divorce your spouse, you FORCE her to commit adultery. If a person is FORCED to do something, it can’t be a sin. So if I am the person who was divorced by my spouse, with no recourse, how could remarriage be a sin?
 
Where does Jesus say you FORCE her to commit adultery? I don’t recall it being said like that. Could you give us the verse(s)?
 
Jesus was speaking in the context of his time where a woman was generally dependent on her husband for her livelihood. If husband divorced her then she would likely have to have some relationship, whether marital or not, with another man in order to have food and shelter.

Obviously in this day and age the divorced spouse could go get a job and be self-supporting without needing to commit adultery.
 
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Many translations say “causes her to commit” or “makes her commit”. It all seems like basically the same idea.
 
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I found this in the Douay-Rheims. [31] And it hath been said, whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a bill of divorce. [32] But I say to you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, excepting for the cause of fornication, maketh her to commit adultery: and he that shall marry her that is put away, committeth adultery.

Here is how I understand the Church sees it: If a woman who is lawfully married (not the spouse in a ‘second marriage’ who is not lawfully married, where there is a valid first wife to her ‘husband’, which would be the ‘fornication’ mentioned, the ‘second marriage’ and the ‘unlawful behavior’ which would REQUIRE the man to divorce that ‘second’ wife), is ‘put away’ or divorced from her valid husband, AND she remarries (as is shown by 'the 'he that shall marry her who was put away commits adultery part), then she, who is already married to the first man, has been put in the situation, if she remarries, of committing adultery. Therefore the husband who put her away did indeed ‘make her’ commit adultery if she ‘remarried’. Now in the case of the second wife, if SHE is divorced, and SHE marries a man who is free to marry, would not commit adultery.
 
Matthew 5: 32. “What I say to you is: everyone who divorces his wife - lewd conduct is a separate case - forces her to commit adultery.”
 
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CCC

2386 It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.179
 
In the U.S. and first world countries yes, although trust me, especially when we have the children and minimal if any child support it is absolutely not easy to ‘make a living’ after a divorce. Nothing like either being out of the work force for several years or working part-time, plus having to work around the children’s schedules, especially if some of them have special needs, often having to move to be near family support or to an area where there are hopefully more jobs available or places to meet the needs of the children, etc. to make life even more ‘fun’ for the divorced spouse. Especially when the kids turn into teens. It’s been 20 years since I faced that. We came through but it was close to hell on earth at times.
 
I’m sure it’s not easy, but in first world countries you are also not forced into finding a new husband or prostitution in order to avoid starving in the street. You would likely be able to obtain some sort of public assistance to help with basic needs.
 
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If you are divorced, you cannot remarry ever or have sex again once that person chooses to rekindle the marriage?
 
So can the “innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law” remarry? Is an annulment necessary?
 
Hi, Steve!

Jesus is Teaching that there’s no dissolution of the Sacrament of Marriage; that the person who divorces and marries some one else commits adultery as well as the person that marries him/her. Ditto for the person who is divorced by the spouse, if he/she marries another he/she commits adultery as the person who marries him/her.

Did you know that not having sex has never killed anyone?

That’s the problem we have in the new age Christianity; people buy into all sorts of things precluding abstinence and seeking to be Holy.

Instead of working to build a life together and to restore their marriage, Christians abide by hollowood’s spirituality, ‘love the one your with’ or ‘I love you, but I’m just not in love with you’ or ‘I have needs’ or ‘it’s better for the kids’ or ‘it’s not you, it’s me.’

Do you recall what Jesus said when His Disciples came back with ‘hey, if that’s what it takes, it’s better not to get married?’

He said:
11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” (St. Matthew 19)
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Self-control is not about hugging the remote control and keeping others from changing your favorite program; it’s about striving to be Holy. This, in your case, is learning to live a chaste life (lonely but righteous)–for those who have not gone the divorced way, work all the problems out of your Marriage, remember that it took three: you, your spouse and God.

Finally, for those contemplating Marriage, seek to work with your Priest, even extend the period if necessary, so that you and your future spouse may erect that right foundation for your Marriage so that in a few weeks/months/years you wont be confounded by Jesus Command not to dissolve the Sacrament!

Maran atha!

Angel
 
If you are a Christian and were Married in the Church (Sacramental Marriage) you cannot remarry or have sexual relations; it only works if you and your spouse reconcile–I do not know if it would be mandatory that you remarry in the Church; yet, having sexual relations in exchange for favors or for “feel good” times is not considered reconciliation.

Maran atha!

Angel
 
You sound like you don’t understand the situation I’m talking about. Married. Abandoned. Not my fault. Per the catechism, I am the “innocent victim” of a civil divorce. Called to the married life.
 
So no Sacramental Marriage, just civil union/contract?

Maran atha!

Angel
 
If I put a gun to your head and say “commit blasphemy or die” and you commit blasphemy it could be said that I forced you to commit blasphemy.

But you also committed blasphemy and you should probably get your behind into the confessional.
 
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Not really. What you would have done was to give me a choice between blaspheming or martyrdom. Easy choice. But if you declare by sovereign authority that my marriage is over, what choice do I have?
 
pianistclare said:
CCC

2386 It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.179
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steve93446 said:
So can the “innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law” remarry? Is an annulment necessary?
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Pianistclare’s quote is about one’s moral culpability with regard to divorce and does not speak to validity of the marriage.

Someone who abandons a valid marriage, even without remarrying, has moral culpability for breaking their oath. The abandoned spouse does not bear moral culpability if they were not the cause of the divorce. This is why being divorced does not automatically bar one from communion. Many will say that being divorced is not a sin. That is true to a point, but if someone walks away from their marriage they are culpable based on their choices and actions. That is what that section of the Catechism is addressing.

The marriage still needs to be investigated. Just because one party breaks their oath does not free us from the spiritual truth of the validity of the marriage. The scripture is talking about how divorce leads others to sin; about the layering of sin on top of sin. It does not speak to the effect on the sacramental bond and hence why the marriage must still be found null before either spouse could attempt marriage again.
 
steve93446 said:
Matthew 5: 32. “What I say to you is: everyone who divorces his wife - lewd conduct is a separate case - forces her to commit adultery.”
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I have never seen a translation of the scripture that uses the word ‘forces’ in this passage.

Causing someone to do something is not the same thing as forcing someone to do something. Example: if I insult someone and they respond by shouting at me then I have caused them to shout. But I have not forced them to shout.

Aside from that, I think Tis Bearself has explained this passage quite well. If I (living in first-century Israel) abandon my wife who depends on me for support, and her choices are basically to remarry or to starve, then I have caused her to remarry (and commit adultery) or to starve. Whatever happens is my fault.

Further the man who divorces his wife and then remarries is not in the same position as the abandoned wife who remarries.
 
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