Foregoing communion

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DAML72

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Why is this so rare in North American churches? I’m a fairly new convert. I struggle with making it to mass each week because I am a single mom with ADHD and there are a lot of times, in many areas of my life, that I just can’t get it together. I have missed a few Sundays recently for various reasons, did not feel right receiving communion today, and so I didn’t.

But what bothers me is that it is so uncommon in North American churches for people to forego communion, that it is quite noticeable when someone does not get in line to receive (not to mention the logistical difficulties.) It’s always a very uncomfortable feeling to not receive, or when my kids and parents are with me and we have to jockey around to let others out of the pew and get quizzical looks. I’ve seen the lines for confession. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who should be not receiving, so what gives?

I guess this is more of a rant than a question, and maybe I shouldn’t be concerned with what others do, but does this bother anyone else?
 
You’re right. It is very odd. In other countries it is very common NOT to receive. Certainly before Vatican II it was also not unusual in North America. It is important for Catholics to realize that while being at mass every Sunday is obligatory, receiving is NOT (except for once a year during the Easter season). I think it is a matter of poor catechesis and an almost heretical notion that going to mass without receiving somehow doesn’t “count”. Due to my own sinful struggles I often am not able to receive. Yet I go to mass and ask Our Lord for the grace to make a good confession at the next available opportunity. As I see everyone streaming up week after week, I sometimes feel as If I am the only catholic in the world who struggles with sin…but obviously that’s not true…

I’m also a convert. At my first parish years ago, in a small town, Father noted to me how tiny his weekly confession lines were, yet how everyone in the parish received week after week. He said there were only two options: 1) he had a congregation of saints or 2) people don’t take sin or communion as seriously as they should. Which do you think is more likely?
 
Receiving the Lord in communion is a gift. The Church teaches that venial sins are forgiven when we receive the Eucharist. Unless we are in mortal sin - which means risking eternal damnation - we can, and in my humble opinion, should receive communion.
 
You are not alone in this regard. It is important to remember that you can only control your own actions. Also, remember that you are not in a position to judge the worthiness of others to approach the sacrament. Perhaps by staying in the pew you will impact someone who is recieving not worthily, causing them to consider their actions more carefully.

It was hard for me the first time I did not recieve communion. It was sad, but I left feeling happier than I did when I committed sacrilege by recieving in a nonworthy state. It has made it easier to stay in the pew knowing that I will go home without having committed yet another mortal sin.
 
DAML72 said:
Why is this so rare in North American churches? I’m a fairly new convert. I struggle with making it to mass each week because I am a single mom with ADHD and there are a lot of times, in many areas of my life, that I just can’t get it together. I have missed a few Sundays recently for various reasons, did not feel right receiving communion today, and so I didn’t.
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The Church teaches that one should be properly disposed before receiving. That, of course, means one must be in the state of sanctifying grace and has fasted at least an hour. But a number of things can prevent you from giving Christ your full attention, for example, a fight with a spouse, a traffic ticket, a loss of your pet, or a number of things. It’s okay, one can always go later. And remember the old adage: absence makes the heart grow fonder.
But what bothers me is that it is so uncommon in North American churches for people to forego communion, that it is quite noticeable when someone does not get in line to receive (not to mention the logistical difficulties.)
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I can’t explain it either. I am less intimidated by others when I go to Spanish Masses or the EF, where receiving is less of a perfunctory mechanism.
 
ProVobis said:
I can’t explain it either. I am less intimidated by others when I go to Spanish Masses or the EF, where receiving is less of a perfunctory mechanism.
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Before our marriage was ‘normalized’ and I could not commune, I was more at ease at Mass done in Spanish where there were always a few left in each pew but at the EF Mass, its the opposite where very few go up to commune.
 
Casilda said:
Before our marriage was ‘normalized’ and I could not commune, I was more at ease at Mass done in Spanish where there were always a few left in each pew but at the EF Mass, its the opposite where very few go up to commune.
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I see things actually getting worse. Rather than be seen not going to communion at the EF, there are growing numbers who simply walk out of church, foregoing the blessing and post-communion prayers.
 
Interesting that two of you mentioned Spanish Mass. I do speak Spanish, and lived in Argentina. My experience there actually had quite an influence over my conversion, but that’s what I call to mind - I only went to Mass a few times, but I recall many people would not receive. I’ll have to look into that - as well as the EF.

I want to be clear - I am not in the business of judging people’s souls, or even looking around to see who is not receiving communion. I do, however, know of instances of people who have been long absent from Mass receiving prior to confession, as well as those who are actively involved in adulterous affairs, so I guess I’m just thinking - in a room full of hundreds of people, what are the odds?
 
I don’t receive communion unless I’ve been to confession. Some of my sins may be venial but I feel that they are mortal, so I wait until I’m definitely in the state of grace.
Out of 52 Sundays I may only able to receive about 15 times a year.
People I’ve asked about this told me they haven’t been to confession in years, but receive communion every week. 🤷
 
If you’re uncomfortable, then sit in a place where you’ll not be disturbed.
Pray for those who receive unworthily, and rejoice for those who can receive worthily.
 
My mom scolds us if we do not receive communion. Even though we tell her that we are in the state of mortal sin and need to confess, she does not listen. For her, to be truly penitent is enough for us to receive communion.
 
GoGoDiego said:
My mom scolds us if we do not receive communion. Even though we tell her that we are in the state of mortal sin and need to confess, she does not listen. For her, to be truly penitent is enough for us to receive communion.
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She must be Protestant! 🤷
 
GoGoDiego said:
My mom scolds us if we do not receive communion. Even though we tell her that we are in the state of mortal sin and need to confess, she does not listen. For her, to be truly penitent is enough for us to receive communion.
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I suspect that there are many other parents who teach the same thing.
 
Wow.
Lots of presuming going on here.
Let’s just pray for folks to be properly catechized and leave it at that.
 
ProVobis said:
I used to think only people of the old school did this, but as it turns out the Orthodox regard the Western practice of communion without confession a “decadent” practice.

orthodoxengland.org.uk/confessio.htm
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I don’t think it is accurate to take this opinion piece and say that the Orthodox, as a whole, regard this practice as decadent. The author of this piece regards the practice as decadent, and the Russian Orthodox Church and those Churches under its sphere of influence, at this time in history, follow the practice of confessing before each communion. Other orthodox follow a different practice. If this author considers the practice of, for example, weekly communion and (at least) montly confession, to be decadent, he is at odds with a number of bishops who recommed just such a practice. The opinion that weekly communion without weekly confession is “decadent” can certainly be found within Catholicism, but that doesn’t meet that the Catholic church teaches the same.
 
babochka said:
I don’t think it is accurate to take this opinion piece and say that the Orthodox, as a whole, regard this practice as decadent. The author of this piece regards the practice as decadent, and the Russian Orthodox Church and those Churches under its sphere of influence, at this time in history, follow the practice of confessing before each communion. Other orthodox follow a different practice. If this author considers the practice of, for example, weekly communion and (at least) montly confession, to be decadent, he is at odds with a number of bishops who recommed just such a practice. The opinion that weekly communion without weekly confession is “decadent” can certainly be found within Catholicism, but that doesn’t meet that the Catholic church teaches the same.
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You are right, although recent Popes have tried to emphasize more frequent confessions, at least by example.
 
ProVobis said:
You are right, although recent Popes have tried to emphasize more frequent confessions, at least by example.
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Oh, absolutely! Pope Francis has, especially, been an outstanding example in this area. There is a confession crisis within the church, and an obvious disconnect between the practice of frequent Confession and the practice of weekly reception of Communion. But, there is room for a variety of practices somewhere between the minimum of yearly confession and weekly. Some seem to presume that because there was a recent period in history in which most practicing Catholics confessed weekly, that should be the norm for all time.
 
I agree with you, Clare. I don’t want to presume, either. Also, someone can make the wrong assumption about another person, too.

I am someone who has missed Mass for months at a time, due to just being really ill.

One time, I was away from Mass for about two months because I had a really bad case of bronchitis. I had a really serious, deep distracting cough along with it too, that hung around with it and took quite some time to go away.
 
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