I am honest, what you point to is disagreement between people within the Church, but the Church is not just a structure, but SHE is much more than a structural order, She is the pillar and bulwark of the truth whom the manifold wisdom of God, Jesus Christ was revealed to mankind!
When the college of Bishops, in union with the Pope declare a dogma, it is not mere wisdom of men, but the power of God.
I don’t think you understand the Catholic view of WHO the Church is, SHE is both human and divine, as she partakes in the divine nature of Christ, operating through Him, with Him and in Him, in Unity with the Holy Spirit giving all Honor and Glory to the Father forever and ever!
So, to campare THE CHURCH to your particular structured Christian community, would be outside the deposit of faith given to the Church (big C)
As far as birth control pill being equated with abortion, it is in some cases, look up abortifacients