Forgetting about the faith when dating

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I guess as far as he’s concerned youth are all the same and can’t think for themselves or have their own morals and convictions!


The part about going to confession made me want to facepalm through my face all the way up to the moon.
 
There aren’t many catholic men worth marrying today either.
 
SacredHeartBassist said:
There aren’t that many catholic women that are worth marrying today.
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Do you let it be known among your Catholic friend/acquaintances and family that you are looking and ask them if they known anyone? Because just off the top of my head, I can think of several devout, smart, pretty, single Catholic women in your age range that I know. If you ask other people, I would imagine they could think of a few to introduce you to as well.
 
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Holy! What a gross thought process!

I dated an atheist and from the first date informed him we would not have sex outside marriage.

He never tried and always respected my boundaries.

This ‘Catholic’ man sounds like he’s making excuses to sin.
 
SacredHeartBassist said:
Ok stay naive
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Saying someone is naive who has definately more experience on marriage than you is naive. Did you noticed that every time you bring up your dark painted marriage image and married posters tell you this isn´t the reality you end up calling them inexperienced or simply refuse to believe there´s another world out there?
 
They must be living a different experience than me. In a different, more wholesome town with more wholesome friends.
 
Maybe yes, maybe no. I live in a highly secular, former socialist environment with high criminality rates and broken families, and I can´t say my friend circle is full of perfect husbands and wives. But I still don´t see other people´s marriages per definition as doomed, nor do I judge my own marriage like this.
 
I didn’t say they were doomed per definition. I’m sure there are some good marriages. They’re just extremely rare. And I certainly haven’t seen any.

Ideally, marriage is a great thing. One of the best things. It’s a sacrament. It ought to be holy. But in practice very few live up to that ideal.

I’m not doom and gloom. I’m honest.
 
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SacredHeartBassist said:
Ideally, marriage is a great thing. One of the best things. It’s a sacrament. It ought to be holy. But in practice very few live up to that ideal.
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But a sacrament is not about people behaving holy all the time. Marriage is also a sacrament because people in a marriage need god´s help to bear many crosses. If it was easy, it wasn´t a vocation.
 
True, but both of us don’t have the knowledge or scope to determine if this is to a higher degree today than it was hundreds of years ago. But I’m guessing that life was harder and that more was expected of children hundreds of years ago.
 
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SacredHeartBassist said:
They must be living a different experience than me. In a different, more wholesome town with more wholesome friends.
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People are letting you know it’s out there and it does exist. Perhaps you should go after it, or, even better, attract it. I think you’re much stronger than you realize. Take responsibility.
 
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SacredHeartBassist said:
I was talking with an older married man from church and he told me that in order to date nowadays you gotta forget about your faith and have premarital sex otherwise you’ll never find a wife. When I told him I think you’re wrong, he said you can just go to confession like everyone else. Is this a common thought process nowadays? Why do people think this is okay?
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It sounds like the man who said that has forgotten about his faith. I hope he is not giving this advice to his own children. Do some people think this? Probably so. Why? I would guess because it is easier to go with the flow, than to try to swim against the current.

And yes, dating is harder for a faithful Catholic now than it once was, because we no longer have a shared cultural assumption that people should save sex for marriage (at least ideally, even if not always in practice). However, the dating scene has been that way for several decades now, and yet some faithful Catholics have perservered, and have found spouses who share their faith. We also have options now that didn’t exist in the past, like Catholic dating sites that can help to connect those people who have not “forgotten about their faith.”
 
Op,

I have doubt that you are ready for marriage today.
If we look to all your posts on marriage on this forum, you seems to have a very negative view of it: divorce if adultery, don’t know how to find a good woman, asking yourself if you need to compromised yourself to date…

No person really wish to marry a man that have a very pessimistic view of marriage…

Yes, the situation around is depressing, and there are very few people, even in catholic circles! that wait really for marriage <hen they begin a relationship. That is very sad and bring scandal and depression on others faithfull who hope to marry the right way.

Many people compromised, almost when one is less religious.
And it’s sad, but they will find all arguments to justify it: we cannot do otherwise in our society, we are bound to Church law, I don’t want to saty single etc…

But you have to find only one woman, not a lot of. If you are both agree with abstinence and set boundaries, you have great chances to succed in it. The only thing that will prevent is lack of self control.
 
I just don’t think being single is that bad and right now i haven’t found someone yet. I’m not looking either. I don’t know if it’s worth it. Maybe not to me
 
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