Forgiveness and Anger

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Annie39

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I realize that the question I have calls for some subjective opinions but I have come to respect the opinions of several of the people who have posted on CA so I thought that I would ask away.

I read an article on the CA web site by Jimmy Akin regarding forgiveness. In the article he wrote “Anger is righteous—in keeping with justice—if it is still fundamentally directed toward the good. Thus one may wish that a person experience the consequences of his offenses to sufficiently understand how he has hurt others, and teach him to not commit them in the future.”

Later on in regards to what if a person does not repent he wrote “At some point we need to let our feeling of anger fade, not for his sake but for ours. It isn’t good for us to stay angry, and it poses temptations to sin. Ultimately, we have to let go of the feeling of anger and move on with life. Frequently we have to do so even when a person has not repented.”

This is a very real issue in my life although not in regard to me personally but in regards to two family members. How long, do you think, is too long to remain angry with an unrepentant person when the offense was about as egregious as it gets and has taken a toll on both lives to the point of ruining one and causing both continuous emotional and psychological pain?

Annie
 
Yes, anger and forgiveness, however deep the offence, harms oneself. Some people are unable either to see, or to acknowledge, the genuine and serious hurt and damage they have caused. Not forgiving them gives their offence more power. By not forgiving, one allows past offences to deepen the damage within oneself even more.

Some anger may be righteous, but " Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. [Romans 12:19] *“*When you stand in prayer, forgive whatever you have against anybody, so that your Father in heaven may forgive your failings too.” [Mark 11:25] But if you do not forgive people their offences, your Father will not forgive your offences." [Matthew 6:15]

We can only do what we can, as we have no control over another. We can express our hurt and anger, hoping to correct the other’s offence and bring them to repentance for their soul’'s sake, but we can only leave it at that. “Pray for your enemies” Jesus said. Sometimes this is what constitutes forgiveness, that we pray for the offender even if our feelings are still ravaged.

I know how difficult forgiveness can be. Struggling with that at one time I wrote the following which I’ll past as it addresses, I suppose, a couple of the points you made:
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		 			**When we cannot forgive**
Heavenly Father help us to recover where injury goes beyond ordinary forgiveness and our hearts are in some way crushed, and our lives changed and devalued. Help us to find a way to forgive when we cannot smile or encounter the offending person with warmth because they have destroyed something in us.

Father please help us to forgive when we cannot forgive…and we cannot forgive because they do not understand how badly they have hurt us, and do not seek in any real way to acknowledge or try to heal the hurt they imposed on us. And even when we tried to tell them from the bottom of our heart but they would not listen, please help us to forgive.

Father help us to forgive when those who hurt our lives do not even remember how badly they have wounded us, and go on with their lives without concern, while we remain still held in some kind of time capsule with the consequences of their unfeeling and uncaring and attack.

Father, help us to forgive when those who wounded us by ignoring our needs and requests, yet who desire us to ignore their offence, and expect us to respond to their hints or manipulations while they make no concessions or apologies.

Help us to forgive those who impose their own conditions and rules upon us, without respecting that our hurt is real and radical, while they make us feel that they only desire our capitulation without justice, apology, or generosity from them.

Please help us to forgive those who have hurt us physically, or emotionally, or mentally, and above all, spiritually, by action or by neglect.

Father please free us, free me, in forgiveness that comes from Your Son, innocent, and murdered, but forgiving.
__________________

God bless and heal your family members who have such deep hurt between them.
 
The simplest answer I can offer is:
The greatest commandment and method to achieve and spread instantaneous and ever-lasting peace, happiness, and energy is to always be patient, kind, and motivated for God.
Though anger can be motivated for God, anger is neither patient nor kind, therefore it should not be used because it does not generate the greatest peace and happiness.
One should seek to master forgiveness to the point of never even being offended, for the offender knows not what s/he does, and forgiveness is of patience and kindness.

I hope this is of greater assistance than hindrance. May your family find peace sooner than later.
 
Annie39 said:
I realize that the question I have calls for some subjective opinions but I have come to respect the opinions of several of the people who have posted on CA so I thought that I would ask away.

I read an article on the CA web site by Jimmy Akin regarding forgiveness. In the article he wrote “Anger is righteous—in keeping with justice—if it is still fundamentally directed toward the good. Thus one may wish that a person experience the consequences of his offenses to sufficiently understand how he has hurt others, and teach him to not commit them in the future.”

Later on in regards to what if a person does not repent he wrote “At some point we need to let our feeling of anger fade, not for his sake but for ours. It isn’t good for us to stay angry, and it poses temptations to sin. Ultimately, we have to let go of the feeling of anger and move on with life. Frequently we have to do so even when a person has not repented.”

This is a very real issue in my life although not in regard to me personally but in regards to two family members. How long, do you think, is too long to remain angry with an unrepentant person when the offense was about as egregious as it gets and has taken a toll on both lives to the point of ruining one and causing both continuous emotional and psychological pain?

Annie
Click to expand...
Promise of God
Mt 7: 10-11
If you then are evil, know how to give your children what is good, how much more
will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
 
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