Forgiveness and restitution

[seeker63]

I’m a Protestant who wants to convert. I have no problem with confessing before a priest, but have two questions.

Before I receive First Eucharist I have confess and do penance. I know Catholics believe you can pray to God directly for forgiveness of venial sins, but have to go through a priest for mortal ones.

Protestants believe all sins confessed privately to God are forgiven and forgotten. They feel anyone who worries about that clearly doesn’t believe God has filfilled his promise, and is then committing another sin.

I know I wouldn’t be expected to remember all my sins from my whole life, but just mention the big ones I remember.

1.  Are the mortal sins I’ve confessed and believe God has forgiven already considered forgiven, or am I still in my sins? Will I be expected to account for those same sins again?

2.  I’m very worried about the matter of restitution in Reconciliation. I know I’m expected to return anything I’ve stolen, and I have stolen some things in my lifetime, which I’m not proud about. But if I were to return these things now or send money to the wronged party, circumstances are such that my identity would be discovered and I’d probably go to jail. Is there any other way to do penance and make restitution?

Thanks.

 

[Charles]

Greetings Seeker63 and God Bless your decision to become Catholic!

Any sins you committed before Baptism are washed away so keep that in mind.

You should confess all the mortal sins since Baptism that you remember. Do not get worried about whether or not you forgot something. God is great and he will put the sins you committed on your heart so you remember. If you faithfully prepare for confession and sincerely attempt to confess all your mortal sins, then you will be fine.

There is great value in confessing venial sins as well. While they may not severe our relationship with God, they do damage it. If there is a venial sin on your heart by all means confess it to the priest as well.

Cinfession is a wonderful experience. You sound to me like you are approaching it with the right attitude. I hope you find it as joyful as I do.

I’m saying a prayer for your confession and your conversion. Congratulations again!

 

[Katholish]

1. Are the mortal sins I’ve confessed and believe God has forgiven already considered forgiven, or am I still in my sins? Will I be expected to account for those same sins again?

Yes, you would have to account for all mortal sins in your lifetime. While it is true that it is possible to be forgiven without sacramental confession, this requires perfect contrition (which in turns requires detachment from sin. This is not an easy thing for any person to have, and is a Gift of the Holy Spirit.). Sacramental Confession requires only imperfect contrition. The difference is essentially that one is sorrow for sins solely because they have offended God; Imperfect contrition entails being sorry for sins because of fear of Hell, or other less perfect reasons. In my opinion, imperfect contrition is much more common among all people.

Even if a Catholic is forgiven by perfect contrition, they are still required to go to Sacramental Confession before they are admitted back to the sacraments. The primary reason being that direct forgiveness comes without an outward sign by which a person can have reletive certainty of forgiveness.

1. I’m very worried about the matter of restitution in Reconciliation. I know I’m expected to return anything I’ve stolen, and I have stolen some things in my lifetime, which I’m not proud about. But if I were to return these things now or send money to the wronged party, circumstances are such that my identity would be discovered and I’d probably go to jail. Is there any other way to do penance and make restitution?

Restitution is indeed an important matter, and necessary for the forgiveness of the sin. You are not necessarily required to make your identity known to the offended party, but restitution should be as close as possible to the thing stolen (or equal in worth). If special circumstances are present as you imply and there is no way in which to annonimously make restitution (though it is difficult for me to imagine an instance that this might occur) a priest might be able to find another way to make restitution. I should also add that in making restitution, the person receiving it need not know what it is for.

I don’t know if that is any help though, but I would certainly ask the priest in confession what you should do in this regard.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

We should never fear just punishment. You should confess any sins you remember. Even those personally offered before and receive Sacramental Absolution for them.

 

[seeker63]

Well, Charles, I should add that I already got a Tridentine baptism as a Protestant, and my understanding is I wouldn’t be getting another one if I went through RCIA, so that’s one grace I’ll be short of going into this. I was baptized when I was confirmed (and I was christened as an infant), and that was when I was --what?–12 or 13? I’ve done some wretched things since then. And I don’t believe Protestants think baptism automatically washes away all previous sins, so maybe I got gyped there.

My fear of confession and penance and restitution is not so much the embarrassment of bringing all those misdeeds out into the light of day, but that the priest will give me a penance or act of restitution that I just can’t handle for whatever reason. In fact, that’s one of things stalling my entrance into an RCIA class in September.

(Everyone keeps assuming because of my Protestant background that they have to assure me of the absolute Secrecy of the Confessional. But I’m well aware of that and not worried at all. If I didn’t think a priest could keep a secret I don’t think I’d have bothered looking into Catholicism in the first place.)

But can you actually tell the priest after he assigns a penance that that penance is beyond you for some reason? I don’t mean I’d try to talk him down into giving me a light slap on the rest and dismissing me, saying, “Oh, you little stinker!,” but this is an impasse I’d say. Worrying about it also has started to interfere with my thinking and contemplation and so forth during both the Mass and private devotions.

 

[seeker63]

Dear Br. Rich–As far as just punishment goes, there are things I’ve done for which I’ll admit that I deserve to go to jail, and QUITE A BIT of things for which I deserve to go to hell. I just don’t want to be expected to willingly walk into either place whether I deserve it or not. In fact I will go out of my way to avoid both.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Don’t concern yourself and trust that God will not require of you anything that he does not give you the grace to do.

 

[JimG]

seeker63:

But can you actually tell the priest after he assigns a penance that that penance is beyond you for some reason?

Yes, you can. Although I am quite sure that it will not be necessary.

JimG

 

[robertaf]

Hello Seeker
I can see the fear you are experiencing. I can surely understand it.
I may have a suggestion for you, an alternative that might help you out.
I see no reason why you can’t seek pastoral counsel prior to the Sacrament. In fact, I see no reason why you can’t do it anonomosly.
In Meet & Greet, Beliefnet Refugees, there is a priest. There must be others here in Catholic Answers who you could private message or email. Put your question to one of them. The priest in Beliefnet Refugees is also a convert from a Protestant religion. I have spoken to him privately before (have known him on line for 4 years) and have found him very understaning and extremely orthodox.
Just a suggestion but maybe helpful.

 

[Charles]

seeker63:

Well, Charles, I should add that I already got a Tridentine baptism as a Protestant, and my understanding is I wouldn’t be getting another one if I went through RCIA, so that’s one grace I’ll be short of going into this. I was baptized when I was confirmed (and I was christened as an infant), and that was when I was --what?–12 or 13? I’ve done some wretched things since then. And I don’t believe Protestants think baptism automatically washes away all previous sins, so maybe I got gyped there.

Your understanding is correct concerning Baptism. We are all Baptized once. And it doesn’t really matter if the denomination in which you were Baptized thought the sacrament washes away all sins or not, God thinks it does and its His vote that matters!

Your confession should include all those wretched things you alluded to since your Baptism. I know it’s not going to be easy and I can certainly sympathize with your concerns, but the reward of going makes it all worthwhile in my opinion!

You’ve already been given some excellent advice on restitution in other posts. There’s not much else I can add there. God bless!

 

[baltobetsy]

Seeker63, you have a right to your good name, and you will not be asked to make restitution in a way that can damage your good name. It can always be done anonymously - money orders come to mind as a solution. In some cases, you may be asked to donate an equivalent amount to a charity instead of repaying in an impossible situation. Don’t be afraid to express your concerns to the priest - if you approach the problem with good will, you and the priest will find a solution together. None of your sins will see the light of day!

Some people are concerned that the Sacrament of Penance has an inflexible form that will prevent you from saying what’s on your mind. This is not true - there’s always an opportunity to discuss things - just speak up - the priest won’t get angry with you. He’ll be glad to clarify things for you. If he starts with the absolution (“God the Father of Mercies has reconciled the world to Himself…”) and you haven’t finished, just say, “Excuse me, Father, I haven’t finished.” You will have told the priest at the very beginning that it’s your first confession, so he’ll be especially sensitive to your needs.

Also, your penance will probably not be commensurate with your sins - it will probably be much lighter than you expect, as a demonstration of the great mercy of God, and the fact that it is Jesus who atoned for sins by the Cross. Don’t worry if you think your penance is too light. God loves obedience, so go with whatever penance you receive.

Congratulations and may God be with you on your journey home!

Betsy