Forgiveness By Forgiving

[RedFan]

In the Sermon on the Mount, right at the end of the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus is quoted as saying “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” (Matt. 6:14). Is forgiving others enough to avoid judgment – or, more precisely, enough to be judged positively on Judgment Day and have our own sins forgiven?

At the outset, consider that one need not read Matt. 6:14 to speak about “earning” forgiveness. The verse simply says that if we forgive, we will be forgiven. There is no suggestion in the text that forgiveness of the forgiver is a matter of right (as though it were something earned). It could just as easily be a matter of grace. God chooses to forgive those who forgive others (for reasons we need not limn). Period.

Taken literally the verse is not conditional; it is absolute. It is of the form “If X, then Y,” i.e., if we forgive, we will forgiven. Period. Without more. The “more” that other NT writings suggest is necessary for forgiveness of sin may well be necessary, but if it is, then Matt. 6:14 is literally untrue.

I see nothing in the context surrounding the verse that qualifies what appears to be a sufficient condition (as opposed to merely a necessary one) for God’s forgiveness of our offenses. The entire Sermon on the Mount is consistent with the absolute nature of this declaration. (See in particular Matt. 5:7, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”)

Moreover, that forgiving leads to forgiveness does not gainsay the existence of other paths to forgiveness. We are told in Matt. 1:21 that Jesus “will save his people from their sins.” We are told in Matt. 9:6 that Jesus has “authority on earth to forgive sins.” These as well are consistent with the absolute nature of the declaration in Matt. 6:14.

So, is it true? If we forgive others, will we be forgiven? Without more?

 

[goodcatholic]

So, is it true? If we forgive others, will we be forgiven? Without more?

My feeling is yes, yes, yes.
Our ability to let God do the work of forgiving in our hearts is an awesome thing. I haven’t mastered it yet. There are things I find hard to forgive in others yet they pale in comparison to some of the things I have done to others. The day I learn to forgive everyone is the day I will feel a glimpse of Heaven.

 

[Reuben_J]

Yes, we have to forgive others who need our forgiveness, that we may be forgiven ourselves. This is very clear in the parables and the prayer, Our Father.

 

[po18guy]

A few points: Lack of forgiveness indicates a hardened heart. Such a heart is neither worthy of nor deserving of forgiveness - even if begging for it. And no forgiveness is automatic. We must petition God with a clear conscience and a contrite heart.

This verse cannot be torn from the entirety of scripture. Each and every other verse is part of this verse, and this verse is a part of each and every other verse dealing with forgiveness.

Our faith is a synthetic, organic whole - not a mosaic of competing pieces.

 

[RedFan]

Yes, we have to forgive others who need our forgiveness, that we may be forgiven ourselves. This is very clear in the parables and the prayer, Our Father.

There is a difference between “if you forgive, you will be forgiven” (my post) and “unless you forgive, you will not be forgiven” (your post). The first allows for other possible paths to forgiveness. The second does not.

 

[goodcatholic]

Lack of forgiveness indicates a hardened heart.

And the more I read scripture, the more I realise what a huge theme this is in the Bible.

 

[Eric_Hyom]

A drunk lady said to me one night, I get into lots of fights and beat people up, will God forgive me?
I replied that you are asking the wrong question, and the question you need to ask yourself is this. Next time I am feeling angry and want to hit someone, can I search in my heart for a way to forgive them. If you can forgive them, you will come to understand how God can forgive you.

 

[rcwitness]

I believe you are on to something here.

To the OP, I think your question is good. The key seems to be that in order for one to truly forgive others, it takes he Spirit of God to do so.

How can one forgive others without desiring forgiveness for their faults?

We can be sure that repentance is necessary to enter the kingdom of God. This includes confessing sins and turning from them.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

There is a difference between “if you forgive, you will be forgiven” (my post) and “unless you forgive, you will not be forgiven” (your post). The first allows for other possible paths to forgiveness. The second does not.

You are right that there is a difference, but you haven’t fully specified that difference.

“If you forgive, you will be forgiven” tells us that it is SURE that our action of forgiving results in our being forgiven. (You are right that it says nothing about other possible ways we could be forgiven).

The claim could be a third thing: “If and only if you forgive, you will be forgiven”. This would make it necessary (as the “unless” statement does) and sufficient (as the “if/then” statement does) for forgiveness.

 

[ajfrab]

To paraphrase The Lord’s Prayer:

Forgive us as we forgive others

 

[rcwitness]

We should becareful not to create a “Sola” doctrine out of this promise from Jesus.

 

[Eric_Hyom]

And then there is Psalm 51, After King David has committed adultery with Bathsheba, and had her husband killed. He says, against only you have I sinned.

For the leader. A psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came to him after he had gone in to Bathsheba. Have mercy on me, God, in accord with your merciful love; in your abundant compassion blot out my transgressions.
Thoroughly wash away my guilt; and from my sin cleanse me. For I know my transgressions; my sin is always before me.

Against you, you alone have I sinned;

 

[RedFan]

So, is it true? If we forgive others, will we be forgiven? Without more?

 

[Reuben_J]

Reuben_J:

Yes, we have to forgive others who need our forgiveness, that we may be forgiven ourselves. This is very clear in the parables and the prayer, Our Father.

There is a difference between “if you forgive, you will be forgiven” (my post) and “unless you forgive, you will not be forgiven” (your post). The first allows for other possible paths to forgiveness. The second does not.

Wow, when I wrote it I did not realize that there is more to it. Thanks.

"So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

 

[Mr_Lonely]

Hello,

This thread touches on something very close to me…For as long as I can remember, there has been a strong emphasis on “forgiving others”. I agree with this. Although it is very challenging and some situations can be very difficult, I understand the message.

However…I hear very little about “seeing forgiveness” with one another. To be clear, I’m not referring to seeking forgiveness from God, but from each other (humans). I almost feel like we’re giving a pass to those to sin against you saying this. To rephrase, it almost feels like we’re putting the responsibility on the victim versus the abuser.

I get the whole turn the other cheek, take the high road, pray for your enemies, etc…BUT, it seems like the practice of seeking forgiveness versus forgiving others is being overlooked. Forgiving is a very profound internal process. Faith teaches us that everything will be alright. But I can’t help but think, “There’s got to be a better way?”

And there is, say, I’m sorry if you hurt someone, forgive the person that says sorry, and move on.

Thoughts?

 

[Tis_Bearself]

And there is, say, I’m sorry if you hurt someone

I think one issue with this is that many people do not hurt someone else deliberately, and may even be unaware that the other person was hurt, or may feel bad that they upset someone but at the same time may see their behavior as the best thing to do rather than bad, hurtful, sinful.

When they are aware they often say “sorry” in the sense of “I’m sorry you feel bad, but I am not regretful of what I did because I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

Example might be if you have two unmarried people A and B in a relationship.
Case 1:
A has a bad day and snaps at B. B’s feelings are hurt. A realizes later they were short with B. A apologizes to B. B forgives A. Forgiveness in this case works as it should.

Case 2:
A decides for whatever reason it is necessary that A end the relationship with B. A tells B that A doesn’t want to be in the relationship any more. A says all the usual things about how it’s not B’s fault, they can still be friends, etc. B is hurt. A says they are sorry B is hurt, but A is still leaving because A has thought a long time about it and decided this is best for everyone involved. (There are no children involved to be affected, so the only person A is affecting here is B.) A leaves. B still feels very hurt. B in this case has to forgive A without getting a “sincere” apology because A thinks they did the right thing/ the only possible thing.

I would say in my life I have been in a lot of situations of Case 1 on both sides, and also a lot of situations of Case 2 on both sides.

 

[Mr_Lonely]

You make make some good points. Your comment, “When they are aware they often say “sorry” in the sense of “I’m sorry you feel bad, but I am not regretful of what I did because I don’t see anything wrong with it.”” is so true.

I’ll be honest…I have all but lost faith in humanity. I rarely see compassion or true caring. We live in a society of “I don’t give a f%^$” entitled individuals, who care only for themselves. When’s the last time you heard/saw/experience anyone say sorry (even if it wasn’t there fault) and meant it? Such a simple thing…and such a humbling experience, but unfortunately, becoming more and more of a myth.

I hope I’m wrong. I really do. I pray that my children will be able to grow up in an environment of love and compassion.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I do see people saying “sorry” on this board frequently when they have perhaps acted out of line by arguing in a post, etc. Sometimes they do it in posts or in the PMs. I’ve done it myself and been the recipient of it. That is one feature of CAF I like, because I have rarely seen this on any other Internet forum unless it’s one of those forums where everybody on there knows each other in real life and are going to be hanging out the next week.

I agree with you that sometimes people don’t care, but I also think there are a lot of other people in the world who define “compassion” or “true caring” as “you must agree with my position or you’re not compassionate or caring”. Sometimes these people have very unrealistic expectations or are unable to see legitimate concerns of other people about their approach. You run into this frequently in the social justice context.

There are also a good many people who think it’s perfectly all right to yell at someone, call names, just generally fly off the handle, but when the other person has had enough and removes themself from the bad situation, the yeller/ name caller/ angry person is the one going on and on about how hurt they are and how bad the other person is. They do not see that they themselves caused hurt. Feelings are not the most logical things in the world sometimes.

We have to be kind and forgiving, but that doesn’t mean we can always agree or put up with someone’s bulloney in order to keep them from being hurt.