Forgiveness FAQ

[Philthy]

You and i also agree that God the Father is no hypocrite. That is, He would never say to you and me, “Do as I say, not as I do.”

So, you and i are left with two options (and only two options that make sense to me): Either it is true that God the Father forgives unconditionally and then expects us to do the same, or it is true that God the Father forgives conditionally and then expects us to do the same.

This is erroneous logic: you have not established that it is even possible for you to forgive as the Father forgives. It isnt. He does so with PERFECT KNOWLEDGE for one thing, and he does so with HIMSELF being the ultimate Judge. You continue to assume equality between the forgiveness of the Father and the forgiveness of yourself. You cannot forgive as the Father forgives. You can only model yourself after the forgiveness of the Son. As high as the heavens are above the earth are God’s ways above your ways, Soc. He sent his beloved son and said - listen to HIM. That’s the guy who said forgive seventy times seven; the guy who said "judge not that you not be judged; the guy who said forgive them for they know not what they do; the guy who said if you do not forgive others you will not be forgiven by your Heavenly Father; the guy who said he did not come to condemn (judge) but to give life. Listen to him.
soc:
An example that might help us see how God the Father forgives is that of a wicked, violent man who rapes, tortures and murders innocent victims. Lets say such an evil man is arrested, tried, found guilty, and convicted to death by lethal injection. A priest visits the convicted murderer to give him his final opportunity to confess these mortal sins and perhaps receive God’s forgiveness. The hellbent convict spits in the priest’s face and shouts blasphemous obscenities saying that the priest and his God can take their forgiveness and rot in hell. Lets say this man is executed not long after this incident. Would you say that God would forgive such a sinful, unrepentant monster who refuses to repent and receive God’s forgiveness?

What if the problem with that man is that he was orphaned at 1 month old, lived in a horribly underfunded, understaffed orphanage until the age of 6 when he started a tour of foster homes where he was sexually and emotionally abused. You CANNOT read someones heart PERFECTLY like GOD can. You and I have limited knowledge. AND, BTW, YOU ARE NOT GOD - sinning against YOU is not as big a deal as sinning against GOD. And God says that vengeance is HIS, not yours. Don’t you trust Him to take care of it? What is the big down side of your forgiving someone mistakenly? Is there a single eternal consequence???
soc:

However, if you, on the other hand, believe that God will not forgive a person who commits such mortal sins and refuses to repent, then neither should i.

The problem is, Soc, that you and I are not privy to such knowledge. We are not to judge others!! Remember the whole remove the plank from your own eye thing? You do not know a single person who was absolutely condemned
to hell. You are totally clueless as to whom God has sent to hell and whom he hasn’t.

 

[Socrates4Jesus]

This is erroneous logic: you have not established that it is even possible for you to forgive as the Father forgives. It isnt. He does so with PERFECT KNOWLEDGE for one thing, and he does so with HIMSELF being the ultimate Judge. You continue to assume equality between the forgiveness of the Father and the forgiveness of yourself. You cannot forgive as the Father forgives. You can only model yourself after the forgiveness of the Son. …

Phil:

Yes, i agree i cannot forgive perfectly. I admit i am going to make mistakes. However, i’m trying to live up to Jesus’ words as best as i can when He said

*“Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”**(Matthew 5:48)*Even though it is impossible for me to forgive in the perfect way that the Father forgives, that should not stop me from trying, i think.

Phil, i do not want to have a heated debate with you. I just want to have a sincere dialog. I want to ask you to two questions. Please consider them prayerfully, and with all the wisdom the Holy Spirit gives you give me the most honest answer you can:

1. 
   *]Do you think it is more perfect to forgive conditionally or unconditionally?
   *]Do you think God the Son forgives in a different way than God the Father?

 

[Socrates4Jesus]

Phil:

I apologize. I should reword the questions to reduce the chance of misunderstanding:

1b. Do you think it is more perfect to pardon a person for his sin and cancel that person’s debt conditionally or unconditionally?

2b. Do you think God the Son pardons a person for his sin and cancels that person’s debt in a different way than God the Father?

 

[guanophore]

When you think about it, isn’t repentance one of the purposes of going to confession? It’s not just about saying a few Hail Marys and Our Fathers, i think. By confessing your sins to a priest, are you not agreeing that what you have done is wrong, that you have offended God, and that you need to change your behavior? Or do you just confess your sins, walk out of the confessional, and go right back to doing all the same sinful things you have been doing without any remorse or desire to change?

You are right, God calls us all to repentance (metanoia in the Grk.) We are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. However, since we are not responsible for others’ metanoia, though, only our own.

However, having been involved in a discussion on another thread, I think that Jesus did give authority to the Apostles to retain sins. When they read the life of Thomas Moore on the radio the other day, I realized that there are times when unrepentant persons should not be forgiven. However, I think this is a privilege reserved for the priest, and not for the layperson. Since only the priest can give absolution, he should not do so in a case where metanoia has not occurred. When King Charles wanted to divorce his wife so he could marry somoene else the bishop would not allow it. He and Thomas both spoke out against it, and ended up getting killed for it.

 

[clmowry]

This looks like a reasonable representation of God’s Love / Mercy / Forgiveness.

Though, I’m not sure how this impacts how we should forgive each other.

For I stil maintain that we cannot Forgive (or do anything for that matter) “Just Like” God does.

We can try and imitate him as best we can but can never even come close to being “the same.”

Chuck

Maybe if we take another look at the drawing that you said is getting closer to the truth it will give us a visual way to compare our ideas: We might say that God the Father loves His Son in the way that is represented by (C). That is, He loves Jesus unconditionally, without having to show mercy (for His Son never sinned against Him). We might say that God the Father loves those who do not yet know Him and have not yet received His forgiveness in a way that is represented by (B). This is also an unconditional love, but one that requires mercy, for mercy (the dictionary tells us) is being compassionate, lenient and always ready to forgive. We might say that God loves you Chuck (and i hope also me) in a way that is represented by (A). For those who have repented of their sins meet the conditions to be forgiven by God the Father. In some ways (A) is an unconditional love, in other ways it is conditional. For the condition for receiving God’s forgiveness is to repent.

What do you think, Chuck?

 

[Philthy]

Phil:

I apologize. I should reword the questions to reduce the chance of misunderstanding:

1b. Do you think it is more perfect to pardon a person for his sin and cancel that person’s debt conditionally or unconditionally?

Unconditionally
**
soc:
2b. Do you think God the Son pardons a person for his sin and cancels that person’s debt in a different way than God the Father?**

He went to the Cross for the forgiveness of sins unconditionally. He saved us while we were still sinners, not because of any righteous deeds, but because of His mercy.

 

[Philthy]

Phil:

Yes, i agree i cannot forgive perfectly. I admit i am going to make mistakes.

Actually Soc, you CAN *forgive *perfectly ( in the sense that humans are capable) you simply can’t judge (whether someone “deserves” your forgiveness) perfectly. Big, big difference!
You can completely and perfectly release a person from owing you anything - emotionally and materially.
What you cannot do is render a persons sins as unaccounted before God - only God can do that. Again, big difference.

So your judgement in deciding to forgive is imperfect - as you said, that is where you are going to make mistakes. If, however, you muster the strength to forgive someone out of love, you have not failed in the least - love never fails - nor have you dishonored God in any way.

 

[Socrates4Jesus]

You are right, God calls us all to repentance (metanoia in the Grk.) We are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. However, since we are not responsible for others’ metanoia, though, only our own.

However, having been involved in a discussion on another thread, I think that Jesus did give authority to the Apostles to retain sins. When they read the life of Thomas Moore on the radio the other day, I realized that there are times when unrepentant persons should not be forgiven. However, I think this is a privilege reserved for the priest, and not for the layperson. Since only the priest can give absolution, he should not do so in a case where metanoia has not occurred. When King Charles wanted to divorce his wife so he could marry somoene else the bishop would not allow it. He and Thomas both spoke out against it, and ended up getting killed for it.

Guano:

That is an interesting way of looking at forgiveness. You seem to be making a distinction between forgiving a person for sins against God and forgiving a person for sins against oneself. When Jesus told someone that his sins were forgiven, the enemies of Jesus said:

*“Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?”**(Mark 2:7)*I think they had a valid criticism. If Jesus was not God then He would certainly have the ability to forgive someone who wronged Himself, but He would not have the ability to forgive someone who wronged someone else. Only God and the person wronged could forgive the sinner.

From what i understand of Roman Catholicism (and that is not much!) priests are involved in the process of God forgiving (or pardoning the sins) of others. Whether that means they make the decision to forgive and God honors their decision, or God makes the decision to forgive and they merely convey what they believe the decision is that God has made, i do not know.

Guano, this entire discussion thread began with my wondering what Jesus meant when He said this to His disciples:

*“So watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.” **(Luke 17:3-4)*Do you think He was speaking of a priest forgiving a person for her sins against God or a layperson forgiving a person for his sins against herself?

 

[Socrates4Jesus]

This looks like a reasonable representation of God’s Love / Mercy / Forgiveness.

Though, I’m not sure how this impacts how we should forgive each other.

For I stil maintain that we cannot Forgive (or do anything for that matter) “Just Like” God does.

We can try and imitate him as best we can but can never even come close to being “the same.”

Chuck

Yes, Chuck, i agree you and i will fail to love just like Jesus Himself loves and that we will never succeed at being perfect on this side of eternity. My belief, however, is that this is what God the Father challenges us to do, and on occasion i think you and i can succeed, with the help of the Holy Spirit. Although i certainly agree that it is impossible to do this consistently.

When i think about it, Jesus’ words are nothing short of incredible, for He tells us:
*“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” *
(John 13:34-35)
It just blows my mind that Jesus tells me to love others the way He loves them. Whether this means loving them by forgiving, or by being patient, or by not becoming easily angered, or in any way at all, i do not see how it is possible for me to imitate Jesus’ way of loving perfectly. Still, i must try. There is no better way to love than the way that God loves. If i want to give Him my best, i must do my best to love like He does. Since forgiveness is a kind of love, i should also do my best to forgive like He does.

If i forgive someone whom He condemns, then i do not think God will hold that against me, for He has perfect knowledge and wisdom and i most certainly do not. If i fail to forgive someone whom i thought God would condemn but whom God actually forgives, i do not think He will hold that against me, either. For He knows that i do not have perfect knowledge and wisdom. He knows i always try to forgive my best, and trust Him for the rest. At least, that’s the best way to forgive as i see it at the moment.

 

[Socrates4Jesus]

Actually Soc, you CAN *forgive *perfectly ( in the sense that humans are capable) you simply can’t judge (whether someone “deserves” your forgiveness) perfectly. Big, big difference!
You can completely and perfectly release a person from owing you anything - emotionally and materially.
What you cannot do is render a persons sins as unaccounted before God - only God can do that. Again, big difference.

So your judgement in deciding to forgive is imperfect - as you said, that is where you are going to make mistakes. If, however, you muster the strength to forgive someone out of love, you have not failed in the least - love never fails - nor have you dishonored God in any way.

Yes, i agree, Phil. I cannot render a person’s sins as unaccountable before God. But should i render a person’s sins as unaccountable before me? When i personally pardon a person’s sins against me, should i first require that person to repent, as God the Father does?

Using the example of the battered wife, should she restore her relationship with her husband and move back under the same roof with him if he says he refuses to stop beating her? Or should she continue to hold this sin against him and lovingly rebuke him and say that until he changes his violent behavior she cannot put herself or her children back in harm’s way?

 

[Philthy]

Yes, i agree, Phil. I cannot render a person’s sins as unaccountable before God.

But should i render a person’s sins as unaccountable before me?

With respect to forgiveness, Why not?
soc:

When i personally pardon a person’s sins against me, should i first require that person to repent, as God the Father does?

God sent his son for the forgiveness of our sins before we repented Soc.
soc:

Using the example of the battered wife, should she restore her relationship

This is a separate issue. Forgiveness and restoration of a relationship are related, but separate.
soc:
with her husband and move back under the same roof with him if he says he refuses to stop beating her?

No, she should not move back in.
soc:

Or should she continue to hold this sin against him and lovingly rebuke him and say that until he changes his violent behavior she cannot put herself or her children back in harm’s way?

She should react to his reactions with loving rebuke, while simultaneously praying to God for him, wishing him no eternal condemnation.

 

[YinYangMom]

But should i render a person’s sins as unaccountable before me? When i personally pardon a person’s sins against me, should i first require that person to repent, as God the Father does?

What purpose does retaining a person’s sins against you serve?
Does it enable you to grow closer to our Lord?
Or does it keep you separated from Him?
Therein lies the key.

As the Philthy noted, God Himself pardoned us before we repented, and He’s still waiting for many of us to repent.
He forgave all who persecuted, brutalized and killed Him, and none of them apologized first.
We are called to do the same for all who offend us in this lifetime.

We are called to be Christ on earth, we are His body.
How then can we look ourselves in the mirror each morning and present ourselves to receive Him in the Eucharist if we have not forgiven those who have offended us?

If you struggle so much to forgive someone, please give the hurt you experienced over to Our Lord at adoration. It is only your human will which holds on to the offense, it is not the love of God holding on to it. Hand it over to Him and trust that He will know exactly what to do with it. You, then, will be able to love and serve Him freely, unbound by this need to hold onto past offenses.

 

[Socrates4Jesus]

What purpose does retaining a person’s sins against you serve?
Does it enable you to grow closer to our Lord?
Or does it keep you separated from Him?
Therein lies the key.

As the Philthy noted, God Himself pardoned us before we repented, and He’s still waiting for many of us to repent.
He forgave all who persecuted, brutalized and killed Him, and none of them apologized first.
We are called to do the same for all who offend us in this lifetime. …

Thanks for adding to the conversation, YYMom!

My purpose in trying to learn how God forgives and then imitating Him in the way He forgives is to become closer to Him. I want to become, like King David of the Old Testament, “a man after [God’s] own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14). I want to, as St. Paul urged, become one of those who will

*“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”**(Ephesians 5:1-2)*Do you think it is wrong to imitate God in the way He loves and shows mercy and forgives?

The passage Phil quoted is one that is dear to me.

*But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior… .**(Titus 3:4-6)*God the Father “saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.” By using the word us, St. Paul was speaking of himself. He had committed the mortal sin of murder, among other sins. He was not baptized into the church as a child. He had to repent to be forgiven, i think. For mercy (my dictionary tells me) is being ready to forgive, but forgiveness (my dictionary also tells me) means to pardon. That is, mercy is not always forgiveness. Forgiveness is a specific kind of mercy that requires that a person repent before he can be forgiven. Isn’t this what God required St. Paul to do? If this is what God requires of people who need to repent, should it not be what i require, too?

 

[Socrates4Jesus]

Quote:Originally Posted by Socrates4Jesus forums.catholic-questions.org/images/buttons_cad/viewpost.gif *1b. Do you think it is more perfect to pardon a person for his sin and cancel that person’s debt conditionally or unconditionally? *UnconditionallyQuote:Originally Posted by soc 2b. Do you think God the Son pardons a person for his sin and cancels that person’s debt in a different way than God the Father?He went to the Cross for the forgiveness of sins unconditionally. He saved us while we were still sinners, not because of any righteous deeds, but because of His mercy.

Phil:

I like the passage you quoted:

*But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. …**(Titus 3:4-5)*It is one i have personally seen the Holy Spirit use to draw teens to the Father.

Phil, you said you will help me discover the truth, and my hope is that you will, if you will use the mind and wisdom God has given you. I want to ask you to exert yourself—to really concentrate and think deeply about this. Notice that St. Paul indicates that God saves us “because of His mercy” and remember that mercy means to be ready to forgive (as my dictionary tells me). Mercy does not mean to forgive. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is pardoning a person for the sins He committed against you (as my dictionary also tells me). (Please refer to reply #500 regarding the difference between showing mercy and forgiving.)

So when you say, “He went to the Cross for the forgiveness of sins unconditionally” my response is, “Yes, absolutely!” His suffering the excruciating pain of the cross was His way of being ready to forgive us, for that is what it means to show mercy. His sacrifice made a way for us to be forgiven, but making a way and being ready to forgive is not the same thing as forgiving. His suffering on the cross cannot forgive us if we refuse to receive His forgiveness.

Please prayerfully consider this question, Phil, and let me know the answer God gives you:Does a man who knowingly commits the mortal sin of premeditated murder receive God’s forgiveness unconditionally, or does he have to meet the condition of repenting before he can receive God’s forgiveness?

 

[Philthy]

What purpose does retaining a person’s sins against you serve?
Does it enable you to grow closer to our Lord?
Or does it keep you separated from Him?
Therein lies the key.

As the Philthy noted, God Himself pardoned us before we repented, and He’s still waiting for many of us to repent.
He forgave all who persecuted, brutalized and killed Him, and none of them apologized first.
We are called to do the same for all who offend us in this lifetime.

We are called to be Christ on earth, we are His body.
How then can we look ourselves in the mirror each morning and present ourselves to receive Him in the Eucharist if we have not forgiven those who have offended us?

If you struggle so much to forgive someone, please give the hurt you experienced over to Our Lord at adoration. It is only your human will which holds on to the offense, it is not the love of God holding on to it. Hand it over to Him and trust that He will know exactly what to do with it. You, then, will be able to love and serve Him freely, unbound by this need to hold onto past offenses.

Nicely done - you actually made me cry

 

[Philthy]

Phil:

Please prayerfully consider this question, Phil, and let me know the answer God gives you:
Does a man who knowingly commits the mortal sin of premeditated murder receive God’s forgiveness unconditionally, or does he have to meet the condition of repenting before he can receive God’s forgiveness?

I will admit that I did not prayerfully consider this yet. My answer, however is BOTH.
It was forgiven by Christ (God) on the Cross unconditionally, it requires forgiveness, however, by the Father (God) conditionally. We are to follow the example of Christ to our best ability.
I will listen to God in prayer regarding forgiveness as you requested. I don’t believe I have all the answers…
I simply know that we are not to judge others and everything you speak of as “conditional” has an element of judgement to it.

 

[YinYangMom]

My purpose in trying to learn how God forgives and then imitating Him in the way He forgives is to become closer to Him.

Well, we can imitate, but we can never know, really, can we?
We don’t know how it is that God is able to forgive any of us, let alone those of us who offend Him as much as they did at Calvary. He tells us His mercy is unfathomable.
I think we are called to imitate as best that we can without knowing how or why.
Just do it.
And leave the rest to Him.
You don’t need to understand all of the specifics in this lifetime in order to imitate Him.
You want to understand all of the specifics, and until you feel you do, you refrain from letting go of the offenses.
Well, that’s just human will, intellect and pride holding you back, not the will of God.

God the Father “saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.” By using the word us, St. Paul was speaking of himself. He had committed the mortal sin of murder, among other sins. He was not baptized into the church as a child. He had to repent to be forgiven, i think. For mercy (my dictionary tells me) is being ready to forgive, but forgiveness (my dictionary also tells me) means to pardon. That is, mercy is not always forgiveness. Forgiveness is a specific kind of mercy that requires that a person repent before he can be forgiven. Isn’t this what God required St. Paul to do? If this is what God requires of people who need to repent, should it not be what i require, too?

That God required Paul to repent is between Him and Paul.
That God requires those reborn in His name to repent in order to be forgiven is between God and His faithful.
But we don’t know that he requires repentence from all sinners.

What we do know is that at the moment Jesus asked the Father to forgive those who had a hand in His brutal execution none of the participants in that event repented. It took only our Lord’s request for God to forgive every person for their part.

Since you are a baptized Christian, you, as Christ’s representative on earth, need only ask Our Lord and Father to forgive anyone who ever offends you in any manner imaginable in order for Him to do so. Do you not see that? It doesn’t matter whether or not a person seeks repentence from you personally, you can offer it as an unsolicited gift, just as Jesus did on the cross.

It might help to consider that any offense to you personally is not really about you, but about God, since you are made in His image and likeness, and you are baptized in His name. You don’t really have the power to forgive anyone, only God has that power. You are the channel of His peace, forgiveness, mercy, love. That you would withhold any of it from anyone seems to be selfish and self-centered. Not to be harsh or anything, that’s not my intent, but just how it seems to me.

 

[YinYangMom]

Does a man who knowingly commits the mortal sin of premeditated murder receive God’s forgiveness unconditionally, or does he have to meet the condition of repenting before he can receive God’s forgiveness?

I know you didn’t direct this of me, but here’s my answer, and I share it from my heart and came to it by reflecting upon the Passion and reading some of the stories of people who have lost loved ones to murder:

Unconditional forgiveness? Probably not, as you duly note.
But I believe the condition can be met by others on the sinner’s behalf.

I believe a person who commits the mortal sin of premeditated murder is a troubled soul.
I believe that person is made in the image and likeness of God.
I believe that God laments the waywardness of this soul.
I believe God would want this soul to be returned to Him.

Since the lost soul would never turn to God to save himself, it then falls upon me, God’s servant on earth, to petition God for the soul of this man, just as Jesus petitioned God to forgive the souls of all those who participated in His death even though they didn’t know they needed to be forgiven.

Forgive them Father, for they know now what they do.

While this person premeditated the murder and carried it out, that doesn’t mean he fully knew the complete ramifications of such an action. Do any of us really know all the ramifications of our every action?

I do pray for all the souls in prison, even those who are rightly there.
No one knows what compelled them to do what they did.
But I do know Satan had a lot to do with it.
I know they were not born into this world of Satan, but of God.
And I know God wants them home with Him.
I do not want Satan to claim a single victory.

People assume Hitler, and all those like him, are in hell.
But we really don’t know that with all certainty, do we?

We know God’s mercy is unfathomable (so He’s *prepared *to forgive anyone).
We know the power of prayer for departed souls.
We don’t know how many rosaries have been said for any apparently lost soul.
So we cannot know the fate of any soul, no matter how much evidence is out there of the sordid actions that person carried out during his lifetime.
We are lacking the evidence of how many people are praying fervently for this person, this soul.
And so I try to be at least one voice on behalf of these people so that they may have a chance at eternal happiness despite the life they were led to lead by all the circumstances outside their control which pushed them in such a horrid direction.

I trust in God’s mercy **and **justice. I can plead for their forgiveness. I believe they will be forgiven. But the judgement on that soul is always and only God’s to render. That is beyond my control and a separate issue.

 

[Socrates4Jesus]

Originally Posted by Socrates4Jesus forums.catholic-questions.org/images/buttons_cad/viewpost.gif
*Phil:

Please prayerfully consider this question, Phil, and let me know the answer God gives you: Does a man who knowingly commits the mortal sin of premeditated murder receive God’s forgiveness unconditionally, or does he have to meet the condition of repenting before he can receive God’s forgiveness?*
I will admit that I did not prayerfully consider this yet. My answer, however is BOTH.
It was forgiven by Christ (God) on the Cross unconditionally, it requires forgiveness, however, by the Father (God) conditionally. We are to follow the example of Christ to our best ability.
I will listen to God in prayer regarding forgiveness as you requested. I don’t believe I have all the answers…
I simply know that we are not to judge others and everything you speak of as “conditional” has an element of judgement to it.

Phil:

Are you saying that God the Father forgives conditionally (by requiring repentance or ignorance of sin) but God the Son forgives unconditionally (be forgiving everyone, regardless of whether they repent or know that they have sinned)?

 

[Socrates4Jesus]

… Unconditional forgiveness? Probably not, as you duly note. But I believe the condition can be met by others on the sinner’s behalf. I believe a person who commits the mortal sin of premeditated murder is a troubled soul. … Since the lost soul would never turn to God to save himself, it then falls upon me, God’s servant on earth, to petition God for the soul of this man, just as Jesus petitioned God to forgive the souls of all those who participated in His death even though they didn’t know they needed to be forgiven. Forgive them Father, for they know now what they do. …

Yes, YYMom, we agree that God probably does forgive conditionally.

Some people He forgives because they meet the condition of being those who “know not what they do.” Others He forgives because they know what they do is wrong but they confess their sins, repent, and show their repentance by changing their behaviors.

The reason why i think repentance is required is that Jesus spent so much time teaching that you and i must repent. Think about it: He began His mission on earth by warning people to

“Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near.”
(Matthew 4:17)

and He ended His mission on earth by telling His followers that

“…repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.”
(Luke 24:47)

Between the beginning and ending of His mission He repeated the requirement to repent over and over, for He said

“I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”
(Luke 5:32)

and*“But unless you repent, you too will all perish.”*
(Luke 13:3)

and*“I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”*
(Luke 15:7)

and He taught you and me that we should require repentance when we forgive, just as God does. For He said*“So watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.”*
(Luke 17:3)

I agree with you that we should always show mercy unconditionally by being kind and praying for those who have wronged us and refuse to repent. I agree with Jesus that we should only forgive conditionally, by pardoning those who are unaware that they have sinned or who repent of their sins.