Forgiveness of sins by others

[Templum]

Hi,

I know that we go to confession for our sins whether they’re big or small. I do this. I believe that this is good from time to time. However, after confession is over, I walk with the impression that what I did wrong is over. I repented and I was forgiven. I said my prayers after and it’s over. It becomes the past. I learn from it and try to avoid repeating it. Now, that 's all fine and dandy, but what happens to one’s “sin” when an unhappy person comes to you and reminds you of the past and recalls the “sin” you committed? This unhappy person remembers your wrongs and didn’t forgive you all these years. How does one cope with this especially after having confessed the “sin” to the priest? Should this person ask for forgiveness again? Is the forgiveness from the confession room valid if someone else brings it up again? Didn’t the sin go away? Why is it that the thought of the sin comes back? Didn’t God forgive me in that confession room? Why is he allowing the devil to torture me for the wrong I did. Wasn’t my confession sincere enough? Didn’t I suffer enough? I find myself confessing and then discover people who recall the bad that I did. What should I tell these people? Should I say this: I have confessed that already, so it’s done and forgotten."

What is the value of confession if someone else in one’s life brings back the past?

Thanks,
Templum

 

[giuseppeTO]

Hi,

I know that we go to confession for our sins whether they’re big or small. I do this. I believe that this is good from time to time. However, after confession is over, I walk with the impression that what I did wrong is over. I repented and I was forgiven. I said my prayers after and it’s over. It becomes the past. I learn from it and try to avoid repeating it. Now, that 's all fine and dandy, but what happens to one’s “sin” when an unhappy person comes to you and reminds you of the past and recalls the “sin” you committed? This unhappy person remembers your wrongs and didn’t forgive you all these years. How does one cope with this especially after having confessed the “sin” to the priest? Should this person ask for forgiveness again? Is the forgiveness from the confession room valid if someone else brings it up again? Didn’t the sin go away? Why is it that the thought of the sin comes back? Didn’t God forgive me in that confession room? Why is he allowing the devil to torture me for the wrong I did. Wasn’t my confession sincere enough? Didn’t I suffer enough? I find myself confessing and then discover people who recall the bad that I did. What should I tell these people? Should I say this: I have confessed that already, so it’s done and forgotten."

What is the value of confession if someone else in one’s life brings back the past?

Thanks,
Templum

When the priest says “I absolve you of all of you sins…” or “…ego te absolvo” in Latin, your sins are forgiven by Christ. That forgiveness is not dependent upon any other earthly entity. It is, rather their Christian obligation to forgive you. Like charity, forgiveness can never be expected from another man, it can only be given to him by you.

That said, there is also a punishment (God’s justice) that you incur from your sins that is not taken away by Confession. You will either pay that justice with penance here on earth or, if not expiated before you die, you must be purified of that stain in Purgatory. So, part of the pain of one who does not forgive you your transgression against them, may well serve to satisfy the punishment you incur from that sin. So my advice is to endure the pain of this rejection with patience, and grace, and without protest and it will work towards your salvation.

 

[Rocko]

So my advice is to endure the pain of this rejection with patience, and grace, and without protest and it will work towards your salvation.

Well said Giuseppe! I agree.

You should really thank God for giving you penance here on earth because I’m sure the suffering in Purgatory would be much worse. The more you can see suffering as a good thing, the easier it will be to endure!

Here’s a great analogy to help you understand the temporal punishment due to sin:

You’re playing baseball outside and accidentally hit a ball through a window, shattering glass everywhere. You knock on the person’s door and explain what happened. You tell them you’re very sorry for what happened, and they forgive you. Although you’ve been forgiven, the broken glass still needs to be cleaned up and the window replaced. You will be responsible for fixing the window at some point, but just remember that you won’t be doing it alone!

Hope this helps. God bless!

 

[Templum]

HI,

Thanks for your replies.
Templum

 

[snowdrop]

HI,

Thanks for your replies.
Dear Templum,
At 85 years old I still have problems from the past in letting them go. I found help in St. Michael the Arch Angel. Today when the things of the past come into my thoughts I pray to St. Michael the Arch Angel, and he becomes a big help.
Somewhere in the Book of Thessalonians St. Paul tells us pray always. I wondered about what he says, and he is right. The reason is, we are constantly tempted by the evil one, the devil, Lucifer or what ever you want to call the tempter. I worked on the assembly line for General Motors. I installed Transmission Support Bars, they only took four bolts I installed my four bolts and the man on the other side of the frame installed his. It was not hard to keep up. Sometimes I would just daydream. Finally I found out I could pray and not fail to install the bar and never get behind. Why I could say five decades of the Rosary.
Pray always and never lose heart.

 

[otjm]

Hi,

I know that we go to confession for our sins whether they’re big or small. I do this. I believe that this is good from time to time. However, after confession is over, I walk with the impression that what I did wrong is over. I repented and I was forgiven. I said my prayers after and it’s over. It becomes the past. I learn from it and try to avoid repeating it. Now, that 's all fine and dandy, but what happens to one’s “sin” when an unhappy person comes to you and reminds you of the past and recalls the “sin” you committed? This unhappy person remembers your wrongs and didn’t forgive you all these years. How does one cope with this especially after having confessed the “sin” to the priest? Should this person ask for forgiveness again? Is the forgiveness from the confession room valid if someone else brings it up again? Didn’t the sin go away? Why is it that the thought of the sin comes back? Didn’t God forgive me in that confession room? Why is he allowing the devil to torture me for the wrong I did. Wasn’t my confession sincere enough? Didn’t I suffer enough? I find myself confessing and then discover people who recall the bad that I did. What should I tell these people? Should I say this: I have confessed that already, so it’s done and forgotten."

What is the value of confession if someone else in one’s life brings back the past?

Thanks,
Templum

It looks like the posters’ answers do not really address your question.

So someone - either a person whom you sinned against directly, or someone who was at least aware of your sin, brings it up in the future, after you have confessed.

It would seem, from those facts, that the person has a reason to bring it up again; the question is, what is their reason for doing so?

If it was someone whom you sinned against, it would appear that they have not forgiven you. This could be due to you not apologizing (if you didn’t); or there was some harm that has not been made right (for example, you destroyed their property and did not make that right - the “baseball through the window”). Then make it right.

It may be that you have done what you could, but they still have anger or pain (or both) over it. Then very quietly, and very politely, ask them what you can do to make it right. Try to have some sort of conversation with them to get to what it takes for them to forgive and "put it behind their back (Isaiah). Try as hard as you can to come to some conclusion with them.

If they will not reconcile with you, then I would tell them (since this seems to be bothering you greatly) that you have apologized and done what you can to rectify the matter, and that if they will not drop it, you will either no longer respond to them about it, or if they pursue it, you will walk away. Then do so.

I had a relative who decided to rag me about something. We talked, they were angry, and I finally told them the matter was over and they had to get past it too.

They didn’t, and it came up again at their house; and I literally got up and walked out the door. They finally got the message, and it has not been brought up since. Had I not gotten up right then and walked out, I suspect it would still be going on. I only did so after I had exhausted all possible avenues.

We have a duty to reconcile with those we have hurt. They also have a duty to reconcile with us, and sometimes that takes a long time. If they simply won’t, than at some point we have to indicate that they do not have permission any longer to hold it over us and continue to bring it up.

If it is a friend, then honestly, they are telling you that you are no longer a friend. Move on.

If it is a spouse, then get counseling - both of you. There needs to be peace.

 

[snowdrop]

Hi,

I know that we go to confession for our sins whether they’re big or small. I do this. I believe that this is good from time to time. However, after confession is over, I walk with the impression that what I did wrong is over. I repented and I was forgiven. I said my prayers after and it’s over. It becomes the past. I learn from it and try to avoid repeating it. Now, that 's all fine and dandy, but what happens to one’s “sin” when an unhappy person comes to you and reminds you of the past and recalls the “sin” you committed? This unhappy person remembers your wrongs and didn’t forgive you all these years. How does one cope with this especially after having confessed the “sin” to the priest? Should this person ask for forgiveness again? Is the forgiveness from the confession room valid if someone else brings it up again? Didn’t the sin go away? Why is it that the thought of the sin comes back? Didn’t God forgive me in that confession room? Why is he allowing the devil to torture me for the wrong I did. Wasn’t my confession sincere enough? Didn’t I suffer enough? I find myself confessing and then discover people who recall the bad that I did. What should I tell these people? Should I say this: I have confessed that already, so it’s done and forgotten."

What is the value of confession if someone else in one’s life brings back the past?

Thanks,
Templum

 

[HelenRose]

Hi,

I know that we go to confession for our sins whether they’re big or small. I do this. I believe that this is good from time to time. However, after confession is over, I walk with the impression that what I did wrong is over. I repented and I was forgiven. I said my prayers after and it’s over. It becomes the past. I learn from it and try to avoid repeating it. Now, that 's all fine and dandy, but what happens to one’s “sin” when an unhappy person comes to you and reminds you of the past and recalls the “sin” you committed? This unhappy person remembers your wrongs and didn’t forgive you all these years. How does one cope with this especially after having confessed the “sin” to the priest? Should this person ask for forgiveness again? Is the forgiveness from the confession room valid if someone else brings it up again? Didn’t the sin go away? Why is it that the thought of the sin comes back? Didn’t God forgive me in that confession room? Why is he allowing the devil to torture me for the wrong I did. Wasn’t my confession sincere enough? Didn’t I suffer enough? I find myself confessing and then discover people who recall the bad that I did. What should I tell these people? Should I say this: I have confessed that already, so it’s done and forgotten."

What is the value of confession if someone else in one’s life brings back the past?

Thanks,
Templum

God has forgiven you. It is now your duty to understand and forgive this person who hurts you by bringing up your past. The value in being forgiven is learning what it means to be forgiven and this teaches us to forgive others. You can not undo the past you can only go forward with God’s grace to do better.

 

[otjm]

God has forgiven you. It is now your duty to understand and forgive this person who hurts you by bringing up your past. The value in being forgiven is learning what it means to be forgiven and this teaches us to forgive others. You can not undo the past you can only go forward with God’s grace to do better.

A good answer to a different question than the OP was asking. The OP asks why others cannot forgive the OP.

 

[HelenRose]

A good answer to a different question than the OP was asking. The OP asks why others cannot forgive the OP.

That answer can only be given by the person or persons who were hurt or sin against. There is no way anyone on this board could possibly know the depth of the pain or the reasons he or she has not found a way to forgive. God alone knows that answer.

 

[otjm]

That answer can only be given by the person or persons who were hurt or sin against. There is no way anyone on this board could possibly know the depth of the pain or the reasons he or she has not found a way to forgive. God alone knows that answer.

I agree and that is a good answer for the OP.