forgiveness..

[distracted]

it is hard to forgive when someone does something really outrageously bad to you…

because it feels like you are just shrugging it off… like you are saying, Oh well, you harmed me… no big deal…

i know that is not what forgiveness is, but it FEELS like it… & we need 2 overcome our feelings…

but anyhow…

i guess the reason we must forgive is because to not forgive means to let evil into our souls (or let it linger there)… & while we are focused on not forgiving someone, we could be focused on doing something good… In other words, not forgivng makes our soul an unlovely place…

just wondering what you have to say about this subject…

i thought i had forgiven this one person, but … i never have anyrthing good to say about the person… just try not to talk abuot the person… & give to God…

 

[Coco82]

This is a good question. Personally I can’t forgive some people that wronged me in the past to a great degree, were just cruel. I’m sure we’ve all been there w/someone. Should I? Yes, but it’s something I can never forget. I am pretty forgiving of most, but there are some things that are too much for me. As humans though we aren’t perfect and things will come up that will extentuate our humanity.

 

[beckycmarie]

A priest on another Catholic forum has a really helpful post on this topic. See this post.

 

[JulieAA]

it is hard to forgive when someone does something really outrageously bad to you…

because it feels like you are just shrugging it off… like you are saying, Oh well, you harmed me… no big deal…

i know that is not what forgiveness is, but it FEELS like it… & we need 2 overcome our feelings…

but anyhow…

i guess the reason we must forgive is because to not forgive means to let evil into our souls (or let it linger there)… & while we are focused on not forgiving someone, we could be focused on doing something good… In other words, not forgivng makes our soul an unlovely place…

just wondering what you have to say about this subject…

i thought i had forgiven this one person, but … i never have anyrthing good to say about the person… just try not to talk abuot the person… & give to God…

I honestly went through something very similar in my life. Betrayed by a good friend (I thought) and my dearest Priest friend, which hurt me to the core. I went to confession and discussed what happened with my Monsignor and he told me this. You must forgive as Christ forgave you from the Cross, but that does not mean that you need to continue a “relationship” with either of these people. You can not wish them harm and wish only Heaven for them. The betrayal of these two people could not have hurt me more if they ripped my heart out. I prayed and prayed very hard to forgive, especially my Priest friend. It was not easy, but a process. I knew I could not do it myself and that God needed to do it for me. I can not explain in words the peace I feel right now. Does it still hurt? Yes, sometimes, because I think how things should have been, but we can never go back in time…only one day at a time through and with the heart of Jesus. I pray and hope “Heaven” for both of them. My Priest friend has since died and I went to his funeral with total love and total peace in my heart for him. Praise God and His Holy Name!!

 

[GWGWGD]

distracted,

You may have heard before the expression that forgiveness is a choice. It’s a choice to look at that person as a child of God. It’s looking at the person as God would see him, and separating the person from the action. As a catholic we are called to always be in a state of forgiveness. For me it came easier when I was able to separate the person from the action. Forgiving another does not mean what that person did was okay, it may never be okay under any circumstances. It means allowing yourself to let go of the ill you may feel for that person (sometimes very difficult, and I have to remind myself that with God all things are possible). We are called to love the sinner, but dispise the sin.

To heal from the hurt of the sin, for me, has come from God’s amazing grace. The healing is all from Him. I committed to Him to love the person because He loves them, and to forgive them because I believe that’s what He asks of me. Then, the peace that surpasses all understand comes. I fall again into the sorrow and pain of what happened … I turn to him and he lifts me again … a single set of footprints in the sand. For some things, forgiveness is more of a journey for me than a milestone. Because of who I am, some hurts take me more time with God to heal. I am praying for you.

God bless you,

 

[distracted]

This is a good question. Personally I can’t forgive some people that wronged me in the past to a great degree, were just cruel. I’m sure we’ve all been there w/someone. Should I? Yes, but it’s something I can never forget. I am pretty forgiving of most, but there are some things that are too much for me. As humans though we aren’t perfect and things will come up that will extentuate our humanity.

i’m sorry 4 what you’ve been through… you can rest assured you are far from alone… In fact, i believe absolutely everyone has been through some outrageous injustice at one time or another during life… the older u get, the more likely it is to happen…

i do think some ppoele are more picked on than most, though… like devout Christians… esp catholics…

i just fake it till i make it… i say “i forgive [that person]” out loud to God… and pretty soon, i start feeling somehing happening…

it is not as easy as it sounds to totally forgvie… because, as u say, we cannot forget… our brains aren’t made like that… & yet if we just give the person to God, we do “forget” … (until the person makes an appearance anyhow… )… but oh well…

we are supposed 2b focused on Christ anyhow… not humans & their often petty… even antiChrist antics…

 

[distracted]

I honestly went through something very similar in my life. Betrayed by a good friend (I thought) and my dearest Priest friend, which hurt me to the core. I went to confession and discussed what happened with my Monsignor and he told me this. You must forgive as Christ forgave you from the Cross, but that does not mean that you need to continue a “relationship” with either of these people. You can not wish them harm and wish only Heaven for them. The betrayal of these two people could not have hurt me more if they ripped my heart out. I prayed and prayed very hard to forgive, especially my Priest friend. It was not easy, but a process. I knew I could not do it myself and that God needed to do it for me. I can not explain in words the peace I feel right now. Does it still hurt? Yes, sometimes, because I think how things should have been, but we can never go back in time…only one day at a time through and with the heart of Jesus. I pray and hope “Heaven” for both of them. My Priest friend has since died and I went to his funeral with total love and total peace in my heart for him. Praise God and His Holy Name!!

i don’t cry easily but this made me want to cry…

such a beautiful story…

& i know so well about what you say… been there in many similar ways…

have you ever thought about how, when you go through this kind of thing… how it makes Jesus seem all the more wonderful…? becaues He doesn’t do harmful things to anyone…EVER… even when they do horrible sins… He doesn’t condemn but just helps them get healed of the damage of the sin…

When i am in the Real Presence (i hope u spend a lot of time there?)… i see things totally differetnly than when I’m outside There… i don’t seem to suffer from unforgiveness when i’m there… and a lot of other things… i could never find the words to adequately explain what i mean… but it is just SO awesome being There, especially being There in total silence for LONG periods of time… (it seems the first 30 minutes or so are spent just getting the worldly gunk off my soul…) God bless…

 

[distracted]

distracted,

You may have heard before the expression that forgiveness is a choice. It’s a choice to look at that person as a child of God. It’s looking at the person as God would see him, and separating the person from the action. As a catholic we are called to always be in a state of forgiveness. ***For me it came easier when I was able to separate the person from the action. ***Forgiving another does not mean what that person did was okay, it may never be okay under any circumstances. It means allowing yourself to let go of the ill you may feel for that person (sometimes very difficult, and I have to remind myself that with God all things are possible). We are called to love the sinner, but dispise the sin.

To heal from the hurt of the sin, for me, has come from God’s amazing grace. The healing is all from Him. I committed to Him to love the person because He loves them, and to forgive them because I believe that’s what He asks of me. Then, the peace that surpasses all understand comes. I fall again into the sorrow and pain of what happened … I turn to him and he lifts me again … a single set of footprints in the sand. For some things, forgiveness is more of a journey for me than a milestone. Because of who I am, some hurts take me more time with God to heal. I am praying for you.

God bless you,

thank you so much… i have had the same journey toward forgivenss… (well, not the exact same, but i could have written this post )…

thanks for the prayers…

i guess the hardest part is that this person never seems sorry for what – has done… never… a lot of people know about the damage… the abuse… etc… but this person doesn’t even SEEM (key word) to care… all – cares about, it seems is appearances… doesn’t want to SEEM to be a bad person… but frankly, seems like nothing but bad person to ME… the victim…

i know the person may pay for this in Hell (probably Purg, but God knows)… and that is what also helps me to forgive… knowing how awful Hell is (St Faustina Diary # 741!! )

i can’t judge… the person may have reconciled the issue of me w/ God perfectly & just doesn’t think – owes me anything at all. for all i know God told – to stay clear of me… you just never know… i doubt it, but you never know… you have to give pepole the benefit of the duobt… hard to do, but not impossible.

god bless…

 

[distracted]

i believe the Church teaches that the unforgivable sin is to die unrepentant…

hopefully we don’t LIVE unrepentant… sorry, but it seems that those who promote abortion, even after knowing about post abortion syndrome & how much the unborn suffers… well… something is wrong there… its like some people just don’t give a rip about doing the right thing, and i don’t u/stand that… . i think some abortionists & pro-aborts have sold their soul… just my thoughts …

it seems that if you dont’ repent while living, you definitely will NOT repent (very well) at death…
you will have rationized so long, you won’t even see much need 4 repentance… or something… after all, if you never saw anything wrong w/ what you did in life… what is there to repent of? rationization means you come to believe that what u once thought was wrong is really right… and after awhile, u just believe your own lies…

but then on the other hand, many people “repent” at death… because… well, at that point, for one thing, they have nothing to lose anymore… (worldy wise) & are undoutbtedly thinking about Hell more than ever… i would presume…

only problem is… well, whatever…

i just wonder what my responsibility is in attempting 2 get pepole on the right path… seems hopeless in some situations… :banghead:

seems many just dont’ want to listen…

but i guess i (we) should go right on talking anyhow…