Forgiveness

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Holland

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Today’s Gospel is about forgiveness. Are we to forgive those who hurt us and have no intention of apologizing to us? I don’t mean we should get even or retaliate but do we have to love people who hurt us?
 
We are not called to “like” …we are called to “love”. Like has to do with feelings, emotions ec etc. Love has to do with the will…its a choice…an act ofthe will.

Forgiveness is more about your healing than theirs.

By forgiving you permit yourself to heal. Instead of carrying around poison in your mind and heart, we need to let it go!
 
What does it mean when we talk about “loving” our neighbor? It means wanting whatever is best for him. That means becoming more Christ-like. And if our neighbor is a jerk, but becomes more Christ-like, he will stop being a jerk.It’s a win-win.
 
Forgiveness is tough. Think of it as you adjusting your relationship to the matter. You can never change the past, only your relationship to it. Forgiveness helps start the healing process.
 
I’m trying to look at this from a practical point of view, taking into account that we are all flawed human beings. If your neighbor is a jerk and then stops being a jerk well then it will be pretty easy to be civil to him. If someone does something truly terrible to you, how do you forgive if forgiveness hasn’t been asked for? As humans we sometimes become attached to the incident itself. Is being attached to the incident a sign that we haven’t forgiven the person? Is it possible to forgive but still have this attachment or is the attachment a separate issue?
 
Holland said:
Today’s Gospel is about forgiveness. Are we to forgive those who hurt us and have no intention of apologizing to us? I don’t mean we should get even or retaliate but do we have to love people who hurt us?
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Short answer - yes. One longer answer is my piece The burden of hate.
 
Holland said:
how do you forgive if forgiveness hasn’t been asked for?
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I think it’s tough, but we do have the example of Christ’s declaration of forgiveness from the cross. But as has been said above it doesn’t mean we have to like the person - just that we treat them with charity (caritas, love).
 
Holland said:
Today’s Gospel is about forgiveness. Are we to forgive those who hurt us and have no intention of apologizing to us? I don’t mean we should get even or retaliate but do we have to love people who hurt us?
Click to expand...
YES.
 
I read the article, “Burden of Hate” and its a good one. This whole discussion grew out of a conversation I had with someone who said it was possible to forgive and love someone but to still dislike them over a serious transgression. I think the dislike portion of this type of thinking can lead to the temptation to live the transgression over and over again. This in turn will undo the forgiveness and love you have for the person. So the goal is to love and forgive, period. Hard to do sometimes, that’s for sure.
 
Forgiveness is an act of will.

It does not demand that you like the person. it does not mean you have to spend time in their company.

Forgivness is a blessing for yourself. It is as Christlike as you can become. It is so important that Jesus included it in His teaching us to pray .
 
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