Iāll just tell you the scenario and you can judge accordingly:
I was āthe other womanā in a relationship for two years. I knew he was married and all that so it was a very horrible thing that I did. I look back on it and realize I was being VERY selfish and cared about no oneās happiness but my own.
That relationship ended right before I got pregnant with my son, which is a whole OTHER story, and Iāve been trying to make amends with that guyās wife ever since.
Of course she hates me, who wouldnāt? I was a horrible person then and caused alot of damage.
They are still married and have had more children and I guess are happy, from what Iāve heard from people.
Itās by far the most serious thing Iāve ever done to offend God in my entire life. It makes me sick thinking that I did that.
Mrs. Abbott,
I just want to try to give you (and some other posters) the perspective of this woman, not to make your guilt feel worse but to help you understand where she might be coming from.
My husband cheated on me and left me for another person. It was such a deep emotional hurt that no one can understand it without going through it. It damaged almost every area of my life; my self esteem, my self-image, my faith, my ability to trust people (including my own blood family even though they are fabulous), my finances, my family relationships, everything. Losing the security of the most important human relationship of my life left me with anxieties about my physical safety and occasional panic attacks. I felt, and many others have told me they feel the same, that it would have been easier to recover if my husband had DIED. At times I thought it might have been easier if I had died.
You say they are still āhappyā. No, I donāt so. They may be happy now but they were not for a long while and she still has a lot of trouble trusting him every single day. I donāt know her from Adam but I can tell you that with absolute certainty.
These are not things one can forgive quickly. They say it takes at LEAST 2 - 3 years to fully recover from any episode of griefā¦death, divorce, major illness, loss of career, etc. Iād say a cheating spouse qualifies as grief. This woman needs more time.
Godās forgiveness does not hinge on the forgiveness of this woman. She does not need to forgive you for your sins to be forgiven by God. You have asked her forgiveness, you did your part if you were sincere, and it sounds that you are sincere. Do your best to trust in Godās mercy.
This woman is NOT a monster for not being quick to forgive. She is human. I pray every day for the grace to forgive my ex-husband and his girlfriend. It will take Godās help and a lot of time.
If she does forgive you in the future, however, donāt expect her to speak to you about it or even tell you that youāre forgiven. Those things are not required for forgiveness to take place. Forgiveness doesnāt mean youāre going to be buddies. It also doesnāt mean she will forget what you did. For these reasons, you may never know if sheās forgiven you or not. Donāt hold your breath over it.
It may help you to pray for this woman to recieve Godās grace in order to forgive you. She needs His helpā¦we canāt forgive things like this on our own, weāre not strong or good enough by far.
I say the Divine Mercy for my ex and companyā¦it helps me start to forgiveā¦Iāll add you and all involved.
hugs,
cecilia
are definitely wanted and needed!!! 