Forgiving a loan

[IrishRush]

I was wondering if anyone knows if there is any mention in the bible about forgiving a loan to a friend. I loaned a friend of mine $400 and don’t want her to pay it back because it’ll just put her right back where she was when she needed to borrow the money. She is objecting, strenuously. So I thought if I could quote the bible on this, she may be more willing to let me do this.
Any suggestions will be most appreciated.

 

[RoseMary131]

I was wondering if anyone knows if there is any mention in the bible about forgiving a loan to a friend. I loaned a friend of mine $400 and don’t want her to pay it back because it’ll just put her right back where she was when she needed to borrow the money. She is objecting, strenuously. So I thought if I could quote the bible on this, she may be more willing to let me do this.
Any suggestions will be most appreciated.

I would allow this friend to pay you back. She wants to pay you back. She did not want a “gift” of the money.

By allowing her to repay you, even if it is a small amount at a time, she actually retains “some dignity” in paying her own way. (Not that a person who accepts a gift of money or a scholarship, etc is less dignified.) She has a desire to repay you and I think you should respect her desire.

To not repay you could make her feel “indebted to you”. She might feel shame in having borrowed the money and not repaying.

Maybe the scripture you are looking for is a man who can not repay his debt and the one who he owes forgives the debt because the man can not repay it. The man who is forgiven his debt, in “return” demands repayment from someone who can not repay him. The man had been forgiven a large debt, but he would not forgive another person’s small debt. I don’t think that scripture would apply to you and your friend.

You are a good friend. Your intentions are good, but I think you should allow her to repay you as she can. She may wish to “pay” her own way in life and not depend on the generosity of friends to fund her financial needs.

 

[JRKH]

I agree with Rose. You have told her that she need not repay so this is all to the good. If she chooses to do so in spite of this, then that is her decision.
What you could do is to tell her not to worry about any sort of time frame. Tell her that you are in no hurry and that she should make sure other things are taken care of first.

This allows her to know that her desire to repay is appreciated but at the same time it allows her to know that she has plenty of flexibility.

To be honest, my experience is that giving someone this kind of leeway usually results in little or no payback. But with no hard or feelings or serious embarrassment either…

Peace
James

 

[Catholic1954]

Let her pay you back. Give 1/2 back to her on her birthday and for Christmas; that’s what my Mom did to me!

 

[KrazyKat]

If you do not allow your friend to repay you she would never come to you again no matter how desperate she was.

Your heart is in the right place. God bless you.

 

[ProVobis]

Loan forgiveness is generally seen as an income to the other party in the eyes of the IRS. I realize $400 is not that much but if you really don’t want for her to pay you back, perhaps suggest she donates the money to church or to charity instead? Just a suggestion.

 

[JRKH]

Loan forgiveness is generally seen as an income to the other party in the eyes of the IRS. I realize $400 is not that much but if you really don’t want for her to pay you back, perhaps suggest she donates the money to church or to charity instead? Just a suggestion.

This is true only if the value of the gift is over a certain amount. I believe it’s $10K.
I’m assuming that the OP and her friend do not have a formal, written “loan agreement” so - as far at the IRS is concerned…the money would just be a “gift” and does not have to be reported.

Peace
James

 

[Bergon]

I was wondering if anyone knows if there is any mention in the bible about forgiving a loan to a friend. I loaned a friend of mine $400 and don’t want her to pay it back because it’ll just put her right back where she was when she needed to borrow the money. She is objecting, strenuously. So I thought if I could quote the bible on this, she may be more willing to let me do this.
Any suggestions will be most appreciated.

It is extremely kind of you to allow your friend not to repay the loan.

It is admirable that she wants to pay it back. It is a terrible shame the number of friendships that break down because one borrows money but then fails to pay it back.

As the others have said make clear that you don’t expect it to be paid back by a particular date. May be she would like to agree an amount she can afford per week or month whichever is more convenient.

 

[smichhertz]

I was wondering if anyone knows if there is any mention in the bible about forgiving a loan to a friend. I loaned a friend of mine $400 and don’t want her to pay it back because it’ll just put her right back where she was when she needed to borrow the money. She is objecting, strenuously. So I thought if I could quote the bible on this, she may be more willing to let me do this.
Any suggestions will be most appreciated.

Hi IrishRush,

I honestly don’t feel like enough information was given for me to say wither or not you should allow her to pay you back.

Here are some Bible quotes indicating it was common practice to cancel debts every seven years:

ggglaw.com/CM/Custom/BiblesPositionOnForgivingDebt.asp

And here’s a article outlying the Biblical position on debt forgiveness:
jubileeusa.org/get-active/jubilee-congregations/faith-worship-resources/debt-cancellation-the-biblical-norm.html

Best of luck!

 

[IrishRush]

Thank you all for the very thoughtful responses. You’ve given me an entirely different perspective to view this that I wasn’t considering before.
I knew bringing my dilemma here was the right thing to do!
Thanks again and God bless you all!

 

[kmcarl56]

First of all, that is in the Lord’s Prayer…“forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.”

Second, I make it a policy to never expect a return of money I loan to family or friends. Perhaps they will be there for me one day when I am in dire need. Generosity and giving freely is the one of the purest expressions of love.

When and if your friend pays you back will be a time to rejoice in the love your friend has for you, but if your friend cannot ever pay you back, there is a good reason…no money.

Do not burden yourself with thoughts of regret or disappointment or anamosity for your friend. Such thoughts will only be a burden to you. Forgive your friend, and wipe the slate clean. That is what true friends do.