I have a new-to-me 16 yr old son (my daughters’ 1/2 brother moved in on Thanksgiving after his Dad & newest Step-Mom kicked him out & living to his natural Mom isn’t an option). As a child, he LOVED & cherished every prayer book, bible, holy card or anything religious he could get his hands on, which his Dad would throw away any chance he got.
You have a new son who has experienced the rejections (for what ever reason) of his parents. That can make for added reasons to not want contact with a God we call Father. Rejection by parents can be very hard for anyone.
What a blessing that he will live as your son with his half sister.
Since he was raised by a father who rejected God, it will be natural that he has come to follow that path. It does not mean he will always follow his father’s ways.
Now that he’s 16, he claims to be an AGNOSTIC (who believes in ghosts - btw). He says when he was younger everyone tried to shove “religion” down his throat/forced on him. I asked him who did that? He answered his Grandma. I asked him what religion & he said, “Catholic”. Last night he said that being around Icons make him very uncomfortable (exact same thing his Dad used to say about Icons…hmmm).
Lots of kids these days, even in Catholic homes attending Catholic schools, call themselves agnostic and atheist.
Here is a
link on ghosts by Jimmy Akin.
It may even be through his belief in the after life with ghosts that you can share with him more on God. You would want to be comfortable discussing ghosts and demons, before going very deep with this topic. Do not find belief in ghosts to be upsetting.
He may be uncomfortable around icons if that was the idea expressed in his home by his dad.
Take time to listen to him. Ask him to tell you about his feelings and thoughts on religion.
If you have icons and they bother him, ask him to sit with you and discuss what he feels and why he feels that way. You might tell him, how you see and feel about the icons.
Often people move from being agnostic or atheist to become a believer, through a slow process. He probably heard the phrase “Grandma shoved the Catholic religion down their throats” from dad. Maybe dad didn’t want to hear anything on religion and even simple things about faith caused him to claim “she’s forcing it on us.” This reinforces the idea with his dear son.
My question is: How should I approach Faith with my newest, nearly adult, son? I want to find a way to draw him back to God. Any advise is greatly appreciated.
Now is a good time to share with him the liturgical year… although I wouldn’t use those terms. You invite him to be part of Advent in your home. Ask him to join you for Mass as is that what you do as a family on Sunday. Ask him to simply come along and allow him to sit during Mass.
He might enjoy lighting the Advent candles at home.
If any of your religious outward signs in your home disturb him, ask him to share with you why he is disturbed.
Maybe he will help with setting up the Nativity pieces. Maybe he will be willing to listen to the Christmas story.
You don’t have any rush with teaching him about God. The Holy Spirit is Who changes hearts. He may be in college or later, when the right timing comes and he understands the Love and Peace of God.
You live your life, inviting him into your family as your son and inviting him into the family’s life as Catholics.
Invite him to the youth group at your parish.
Invite him to any events your family does to help others.
Pray to be at Peace in this new journey.
Congratulations!!!