I grew up in an agnostic home but I had a grandmother that took me to church (Church of Christ) frequently when I was 6-7 years old. She died from cancer when I was 9.
I always
knew God existed and that Jesus was His Son. In the year or so after my beloved grandmother’s death, I tried to make sense of this horrible loss but my parents could not provide me with answers because their life was contradictory to any comforting answer they could give me regarding God, Jesus, heaven, etc.
A year or so later, I became friends with a Missionary Baptist girl and we spent many evenings at her house at sleepovers talking about God, Jesus, Heaven, Hell, salvation, etc. What she told me at this impressionable age impacted me for MANY years. She had always been taught that one had to be “saved”. However, to be “saved”, basically, one had to plead with God to choose them and once they’d been chosen, they’d have this very emotional, supernatural experience. For instance, she knew she’d been saved at a revival because when she had this “feeling”, she prayed that if she was truly saved, that the congregation would sing “Amazing Grace” before the service was over and sure enough, at the last minute, an elderly lady asked if they could sing this exact song. My friend then
knew it was true and went forward during the “altar call”.
For YEARS, I would read my Bible and pray (beg, really) that God would save me and finally, at the age of 16, at a Baptist revival I’d attending with another friend, I had this overwhelming emotional reaction during the service and therefore, I believed I’d been saved. I was baptized a month or so later. I now realize that this faulty theology has greatly affected the way in which I viewed God for many years. It has also been very damaging to my self-esteem because I can vividly remember my SBC pastor saying, in defense of OSAS, that if a person sinned greatly that maybe they’d never really been saved to begin with. Therefore, anytime I “sinned greatly”, I questioned my salvation and whether or not I really had been saved. I would constantly beg and plead for God to forgive me, not truly knowing whether He had or not
A couple of years after I was “saved”, I met and fell in love with a good ole’ Church of Christ boy and as that relationship grew, we both realized that both of our traditions had major faults/discrepancies in their theology and so we’ve just floated around in churches since we married 16 years ago believing that no tradition/denomination contained all the truth, until yet another friend opened our eyes to Catholicism about two years ago.
We are still on this journey, but I can say that our eyes have truly been opened to so much truth by studying Catholicism. Now, we can see that there is a church that has ALL the truth and that God did not leave us all out here to flounder around. We had never even heard of the Early Church Fathers and by reading them, we are absolutely floored and feel so cheated of this great heritage.